how do spouse's treat their partners if they leave the cult?

by mickbobcat 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • mickbobcat

    So I was fortunate enough to have a wife that listened and saw what I was saying was true and that the cult is BS. But I wonder how bad it is in a relationship that one goes out of the cult and the other stays in. I can see that being a real issue for a marriage.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    Tell me about it

    9 years of struggle in my case..till i gave her the perfect reason for scriptual divorce which she did as quick as was allowed.

    That was 40 years ago.

  • joe134cd

    In dealing with my father. I sincerely hope he never wakes up. It’s the white elephant in the room that’s never talked about.

  • BluesBrother

    Mine has been good. Obviously at first thinks were traumatic- it was a shock to her when I admitted that I no longer believed. She has had to face up to not being an elder’s wife but becoming what they call a “spiritual widow “ Believe me the difference in how she is treated is enormous.She gets no respect at all.

    However we have settled down now and our relationship is better than it has ever been.

    My wife is still a staunch believer but we accept each other as we are. I go some way to support her, we used to attend some meetings, nowadays I sit with her through a zoom meeting, that is just give-and-take for all she does for me...I am lucky I know.

  • mikronboy

    Mine came to an end almost immediately. Then she left the dubbies herself, once we'd split. However, it was aways going to be a match made in hell. So little choice to start with!

  • TheListener

    Roommate but with a wedding ring

  • OnTheWayOut

    I am out about 13 years now and my wife is still in.

    It is the elephant in the room. We lead our lives pretty much independent from each other in many ways.

    In many ways, it is as TheListener says- "Roommate but with a wedding ring," but it's "roommate with benefits."

  • dozy

    My ( now ex ) stayed in for a couple of years after I left & it put enormous stress on the marriage.

    In fairness it isn't great for the partner who stays a JW. In our case - one minute she was married to an ( ostensibly ) strong elder - next minute she is married to an "apostate" and constantly , every meeting , she gets faux sympathy from the other sisters and told "how well she is doing" etc. Her status changed overnight from being part of a successful JW family to another "single" sister with an unbelieving husband ( pretty much the lowest level in the congregation ) and she would come home from the meetings resentful and angry. Its a hugely divisive situation.

    Eventually it all fell apart & she left ( and then left the Org after finding a replacement "worldly" guy. ) Unless both partners leave together - it's not a great scenario for a happy marriage as so much of our lives as JWs were built around the Org.

  • IWant2Leave

    My wife just threatened to go to the elders and tell them that I no longer believe. She says that if i go talk to an elder of my choice, she will drop telling them i’m an unbeliever. She says she doesn’t have to know the specifics of the conversation.

    I mentioned that maybe i should get my own place, if i’m making everyone in the household so uncomfortable, and she started to cry and said that’s not the outcome that she wants.

    Maybe I’ll shave my beard and go talk to an elder that i’m close to. Shaving keeps my fade out of the org going and i don’t come off as rebellious, so that another meeting is necessary. I know it’s crazy right?

    I mentioned some things that most witnesses don’t know, such as, Jesus not being their Mediator. She emphatically replied that Christ is her Mediator. After researching in WT literature, she now says He is not!😢 WT trumps the bible.🤬

  • IWant2Leave

    My previous post, i meant to add that it all depends on the couple and the strength of their relationship. It’s one day at a time. Some JW’s that wanted out of the marriage , use it to say that they are spiritually endangered, thus opening the way for a separation. This could spread to other things, such as new relationships. With all of that said, it varies.

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