Invited to a talk: What to do?

by Fred Franztone 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Giordano

  My sister texted me last night with an invitation to watch our dad give his first ever public talk.

  I don't live particularly near to my family, but I'm not too far from them to make the journey, and I am on good terms with them, having never been baptized and so not disfellowshipped; they don't shun me and likely wouldn't even if I were disfellowshipped, it's not in their character.
  

  
  

  This is the half hour Public Talk? First time? Hell yeah I'd go. A first public talk for an older guy is probably a big deal for him. For a half hour or so you can offer a little support. The second and third talk your not going to attend.

  Your family treats you with respect. And you do plan on attending Funerals and Weddings related to your family right?
  

  I'd say attend for your Dad's sake.

  Later on you can tell him it was his birthday present lol.
• 

  Fred Franztone

  I think that far from being supportive, my attendance would be a distraction. I haven't been inside a kingdom hall for 12 years, and I fear that it would divert attention away from what should be my dad's day. He's a big boy now, I'm sure he can get through a public talk without my support.

  I do wish him well, but the thought of being in a kingdom hall and listening to (even a mere 30 minutes of) the watchtower's propaganda makes me feel quite unwell, and it would probably make me feel even worse to hear it coming from my own dad.

  More importantly, my being there would give my family false hope that I may come back to the religion, and I don't want to do that to them; I don't want to toy with their emotions. It would benefit neither myself nor my family for me to go, it would benefit no one.
• 

  I Faded Twice

  It's a tough decision. I would not go because it would confuse them and they WOULD think that there is hope. Absolutely no good way out of it. Best just to say you had to work! Or had a ingrown hair and couldnt make it. Or youre herpes from having so much worldly sex is acting up!
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  sparrowdown

  Is it a thing now to ask inactive people to someone's first talk because that's about the third time in as many months I've heard reports of it. Not just here either, someone who hasn't been to meetings for...like.. ever asked to witness the joy and miracle that is a first talk???

  Wow it's not an inauguration...or is it... anyway sounds more like an attempt to woo you and for them to brag about how they got you there so you must really know deep down it the twooof!
• 

  Fred Franztone

  I suppose it's an angle; they know that they can't invite me to attend for a circuit overseer or a memorial because those are tedious even for them to endure. A close family member giving their first talk however... there's a gimmick there.

  The upside is that my dad can never have another first talk, so it will probably be the last time that I'm invited for a while. I wasn't even invited to my other sister's baptism, so it's not like I'm invited to every uncommon occurrence; in fact it's the rarity of the invitations which has left me feeling a little flustered.

  What bugged me about the invitation was that it contained the words: 'no pressure', which felt a little disingenuous. There is always pressure with this religion; it's life or death in their eyes. When you write: 'no pressure', you're writing it because you know that you are in fact applying unwelcome pressure.

  Anyway, I will be going with the busy 'excuse', because it's true, I'm too busy living my life to take time out for religion.
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  "Sis, I can't make it. I know he will do well. Let me know how it goes."
  

  Talk soon. Give my well wishes to dad. Love ya later.

  Fred

  Give the poor guy a break. Obviously he doesn't "wish he could make it".
  
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Sarcasm alert:

  "Thanks, that sounds great. If you could also join me when I attend the next "Sceptics and Atheists" convention in the next few months, that would be wonderful"
• 

  zeb

  Unless there have been changes his first ever talk will be read word for word from a provided text. If he makes changes or uses his own words he will be 'spoken too'..
  
• 

  wallsofjericho

  You should go

  hes your dad, be proud of him whether you agree or not

  if you don’t go your dad will be hurt and you will likely see a degree of shunning, if you go they’ll love you for it

  Sounds like your family are reasonable people
• 

  StephaneLaliberte

  Fred Franztone: I think that far from being supportive, my attendance would be a distraction. I haven't been inside a kingdom hall for 12 years, and I fear that it would divert attention away from what should be my dad's day. He's a big boy now, I'm sure he can get through a public talk without my support.

  Well, if that is the actual reason, I would let your dad make that call. After all, you'd go for him and he is a big boy. So, he should be able to make that call. I believe that the backbone of any relationship is first and foremost honesty. You need to be honest with your dad and have this conversation with him.