Emotional Moment...

by babygirl30 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  babygirl30

  Yesterday I was looking to share a pic with a friend of mine, and I swore it was in my photo albums (I have 3). So I start going through them, and I see SO MANY JW PICS! I had a huge group of friends when I was 'in', and so there is just pic after pic of assemblies, dinners, game nights, RBC projects, my family and the house I grew up in, people from the hall, etc.

  And I started crying...

  Not because I miss anything JW (not even the unconditional so-called 'friends') - I dont. BUT to literally see albums of another LIFE. My past LIFE. MY LIFE. Dont get me wrong I have a happy and fulfilled life now, a lot of friends and a loving husband. It is just a moment I had where I could look back and it is so sad to see ME living a completely different alternate (so to speak) life. A life that i clearly have pictures of, but accordingly to JWs...i do t exist. It was just a quick moment, and then I went back to normal. 😊
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  Vanderhoven7

  Glad this nostalgic moment was short lived...and that your life now is positive and fulfilling.
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  Wasanelder Once

  When I look at pictures of JW days I see a needy, self important religious fanatic sought by sycophants who wanted the assurance that comes from surrounding themselves by uber dubs. Even my closest friends were all based on doctrinal purity. What a tool. Don't get me wrong, I cared about people but I was seeking acceptance and self assurance I was worthy of friendship. "Wasanelderonce" was the result of recognizing I am not that anymore and that it was a waste of time. Of course not all was a waste, I learned alot... mostly about myself. I think I have distilled to a better place. I am not worthy of their friendship any longer and I am so pleased that is the case! Most pictures I threw in the bin.
  
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  scotsman

  Sounds like a healthily normal response to our experience of loss. Conditional as my friendships were they felt real enough at the time.
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  Solzhenitsyn

  Its similar, those that get free from a drug addiction have emotional moments too.

  They are in for years, they go through the process of getting off, and many after getting off will hit a wall(s). Remembering the feelings, the way of life. Some will say..."I worked so hard to get free of this, to turn my life around, for what! This!?", or at a minimum momentary feelings of being "lost"...ect.

  High control groups/ cults are the drug dealer. They have to keep upping the ante to keep those addicted on board with

  More paranoia:

  
  

  More fear-mongering:

  
  

  Thanks for sharing and I totally relate to your OP. A totally normal response to the only 'normal' we knew.
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  ToesUp

  It is sad. It is sad to realize that the people who would give their very lives for you (so they say) end up treating you as if you were dead. Rejection is emotional bullying and WT uses it as a tool to punish those who leave.
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  Fognomore

  Its hard,

  Its so hard being married when you know the one person does not truly respect you, your thoughts, your dreams, your new and changing world view about the JW faith. Respect from in PIMI mate includes full on believer mode and anything else is " wicked" , etc. I personally feel that so many mates get frustrated and angry in deeds and action because their mate has not lived up to the standards that they set for them. They will not and do nota allow someone to be themselves. While I have no answers or claim to know what to do, I have seen this in my own relationship. Respect is slowly lost, and with respect love follows, the good times are less, fights are more. It's not love, it's not respect, but a person trying to force their opinion and life style on someone else they claim to love. We are viewed as damaged, wicked, non loving , and selfish if we do not believe the lies anymore and our mates will respond accordingly at every chance to remind of us that. True and emotionally mature secure and loving people should not make a habit out of this type of behavior.
• 

  WillYouDFme

  babygirl I have had the same experience.

  I have so many photos mostly from when my kids were born on.

  I get sad that that entire life is gone. I dont miss the cult, but its hard not to miss the "family" that came with it. I am very alone these days.

  I find it hard to make new friends, and I dont have the opportunity to meet many people.

  I am on the back 9 of of life, so its not like starting over. More like picking up the last few pieces.

  Sorry for the rambling.
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  Vanderhoven7

  @fognomore

  Jesus said that ones enemies will be in their own household. Real Christians are commanded to love their enemies, not belittle and or berate them. Your spouse is either a phoney or a disobedient Christian. I have no respect for your spouse's "christianity ".

  Please don't receive (take to heart) any of his/her loveless criticism.
• 

  Rattigan350

  I've been thinking back how in the 70s and early 80s while growing up and attending meetings and assemblies, I don't remember anything about them or anything particular that happened. But what I remember is the softball games when several congregations got together, sledding parties, weddings and receptions. I remember camping at the conventions but not the conventions themselves. While they are so big on family worship, but the kids don't remember those things. They remember the extra-curricular activities with the congregations.
  

  Fognomore, I am in the same boat as you are being married to a PIMI.