boyfriends jehovah witness mom

by whatisthis12 15 Replies latest social relationships

  • carla

    Start posting apostate sites people should check out then they will stop looking at your stuff. Include the ARC stuff too! youtubes about jw's etc.... (ARC- Australian Royal Commission about child sexual abuses)

    Maybe the boyfriend needs to step up here and tell mom to mind her own business.

    If you continue with this fellow your life will continue to be harassment and heartache for you and bf the rest of your lives. Think long and hard before falling for this guy. Think about future children and so forth. Research the emotional, spiritual and physical abuses people go through when being associated with jw's.

  • OneEyedJoe

    You really need to talk to your boyfriend and come up with a plan of action. As I and others said in one of your other threads, the first thing to do is to make 100% sure your boyfriend knows its a cult and is never going back and that he's made this decision based on immovable facts. If that's not the case, you need to get him there quickly or walk away. Next up you need to have an open talk about his family. He is or was a JW so he'll know how to expect JWs to behave just like us, but furthermore he knows the people involved personally so he'll probably have greater insight into what to expect than any of us here will. It's a very bad sign that you have to learn about this all from strangers on the internet when the person with whom you ought to have close/open communication knows more about the situation than any of us do. You need to work on your communication or your relationship is going to fail with or without cult drama.

    Once you've laid everything out with him then you need to decide what to do. Do you really want to stick around with him and all the cult drama and potentially be dealing with it on some level for the rest of your (or his parent's) life? Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself about what you want out of this. If you really want to stay with him, then that's great, but if you don't then that's fine too and you'll be doing no one any favors if you stick with it when its not really what you want. Again, if he's not completely resolute in his feelings about the cult, you need to include in your decision process the very real risk that he'll go back to it at some point (maybe a year, maybe in 20 years) and completely up-end your life together.

    As others have said, this behavior from his mother is very typical of a JW in her situation. In some cases the only way to stop it is to cut off the relationship. Some JWs are able to adhere to strict boundaries if you set them and fight to maintain them. It all depends on their maturity level and objectivity (sometimes a JW will have just enough objectivity to see that their behavior, though motivated by their religious beliefs, is neither rational nor productive). Again, your boyfriend will have a better chance of guessing how this will go.

    Good luck to you.

  • Diogenesister
    Sweetie pie you have made your bed now lie in it.

    well that's nice of you isn't it? Don't be a git. She probably knew nothing about this whole sorry set up when she started going out with him.

    I highly recommend you go to exjwreddit for support. Its a younger crowd and we get many posts like yours.

    To be really helpful I would need more info, ie is he disfellowshiped? were you dating before that? Does he believe? Is he being shunned? Has he heard of "undue influence" or the B.I.T.E. model of cult indoctrination?

    As a start please you and He check out to find out what we call ttatt " the truth about the truth".

  • joe134cd

    Diogenesister; I'm just keeping it real. I'm just keeping it real.

  • Giordano

    Thank you 'OneEyedJoe' for words of encouragement and clearly shares where and what

    Whatisthis12 can consider and do.

    A heads up to Diogenesister as well.

  • LostGeneration

    Another thing you might check is the "suggested friends" thing that FB brings up. Click on their profile and see if you know them at all. I believe FBs algo will show you people you have looked at your profile. If you don't know who they are, just block them, they are probably the peeps that are spying and reporting back to mama

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