Suicide Idea (page 2)

millie210

Lauren there is love here for you.

We really want to help. Please keep talking to us.

Lauren please don't, my best friend in the world thinks the exact same way as you and she decided to kill herself a few months back leaving me so messed up, she survived the ordeal ended up in an institution for a few weeks please don't do it, just move to a different country and start a new life.

Sail Away

Lauren, sweetie, please reach out to someone, anyone in your real life for help. My son attempted suicide 10 years ago. If he had only known how things would work out, he would have spared himself so much pain. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and be safe. We care!

Diane

compound complex

We are here for you, Dear.

We understand because many of us were where you are now. Even the love of devoted friends and family didn't seem to help me when my struggles overwhelmed me. My therapist -- God bless her -- had the tools to get me through the worst of it, and I promised her, in writing, I would not hurt myself.

Fifteen years and getting better. I never thought I would make it . . .

You can, too. Please stay on board.

Love,

CoCo

wifibandit

I've PM'd you.

Suicide Help:

If you are in the worst of the difficult places that being an exJW can take you, please take some time and consider these resources.

talesin

Lauren,

I was checking your posts, and see you've not been around for a couple of months. Has something happened? In your new life? Or have you been DF?

When I was 18, I too, went out on my own. Because of things that had happened to the younger me, many times I felt the way you do, and yeah, the same method. There was something inside me, though, that KNEW I was worth more, that I could be okay.

That is why we left the Kingdom Hall! Because we know, there is more.

Know this - you are good enough, just as you are. You *are* lovable, and loved. The pain you are feeling, is real, but it will not last forever. You are a stranger in a new land, and it takes time to learn how to be --- YOU. The amazing you, that the world has yet to know.

It's not all pain - there is bliss that is just as intense. Stick around to experience that. Yes, it will take work to heal. But it is SO worth it.

Life is like the ocean, sometimes we are deep in a trough, and at others, riding the crest of a wave. Ride it out, and keep talking.

Can you see a doctor? Do you have a personal doctor? I don't know the size of your town, but in the past, have helped a couple of people find a therapist for very little, one was only $11.00 / hour (some clinics work on a sliding scale = pay what you can). There is help available, if you know how to find it.

Don't give up now. You are free. Let the healing begin. xx tal

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*** as already stated, if there is a hotline you can call, do so NOW. I worked on a rape crisis line for several years, and that is what the volunteers are there for! The Help line, Crisis Line, whatever, call them and have a good cry, they will walk you through this moment! If you don't have that available, stay on here until you can fall asleep. Keep in touch.

dubstepped

Lauren, I've been at least close to where you are. I was older, and married, but I've had suicidal ideations and used to have them all the time. I wasn't the type to make a plan, mine would have been swift and impulsive. I don't claim to know your specific pain, but I do claim to know what it feels like to be at the end of your rope and just want peace. I also know that I'm glad I never went through with anything. I started reading (listening to audiobooks) lots of self-help type books and got my mind and my life straight. It wasn't even that hard, I just needed the tools and nobody had taught me anything in a lot of areas. Every time I got a small win it felt so amazing. Now I'm out of the JW's, lost my family and everyone that I knew, and you'd think I might be depressed. Instead, I'm happier than I've ever been, free and light. My marriage is awesome, my business is awesome, I have friends, and most importantly my relationship with myself is awesome.

Peace is like comfort. It keeps a person stuck. There's nowhere to go, no downs but no ups either. It's a word that sounds so nice but really has little impact. You have a life now, and wherever it is today isn't where it has to be tomorrow. Don't miss out on the beautiful things in life just because you've been dealt a raw hand to date. I'm so glad that I still had the chance for so many wonderful things.

Reach out and get help. If you can't do it for you because you just don't care about yourself, do it for me because I believe your life can change. Do it for everyone else that has gone through the pain of life as a JW and found something better. Do it for the kids you could have someday, the life partner, the friends, the bands you could go see, the games you could play, and so on. You may not see it today, but your life holds so much possibility. Goodness, your brain isn't even full formed until your late twenties. JW's never gave you a chance. Give yourself one. There is help available, and things don't have to be this way. Please reach out to someone that can help.

Mike

Esse quam videri

I think 23 years old is a good enough age for my life to end.

Sorry, not a good enough age at all. I am 63 and am just starting to really live. Filling my live with many interesting things, but mainly projects to help my fellow humans. Find someone to do a simple act of kindness for. Then find another one, then another. An older person. A handicapped person. A homeless person. Be bold in your actions. Don't even think about being embarrassed.

How about this: do 20 random acts of simple and loving kindness for other people and then have another look at your suicide idea. Try it!

Miss Behaving

Hi Lauren,

I'm sort of in a similar place... twice this week (Monday and today) I've fought the urge to shoot myself through the heart, i just want the pain to stop. I was at my campus library and I had to fight the desire to throw myself off the top floor.

It sucks to lose our family to this living death, it sucks to not be able to make any friends or be able to relate to people outside the cult who have loving supportive families.

I guess I'm saying, we probably both need help, but also, I'll be a friend if you want it. I've got aspergers, so I can't promise I'll be good at it, but I can text okay.

Maybe we could start a thread: "reasons to live" first things for me that come to mind - I've never been to Disney World, I want to write a Sci-Fi someday, and these bastards in New York aren't worth dying over. How about you? What's worth holding onto life to for you? If you had nothing to lose, and could do anything you wanted, what would it be?

Please hang in there, I'm wishing you all of the support you need.

GrreatTeacher

Miss Behaving, what an excellent idea!

Start that Thread: " The To-Do List for Life"

1. Get some flowers planted this weekend.

2. Travel to Europe

3. Get enough sleep every night.

etc....

Suicide Idea