Suicide Idea

LaurenM

After much thought, I've decided that in a couple weeks I may end it all. I will never fit in "the world" and I can never go back to being a JW. So this is my plan: I will write my parents an a letter explaining how I ended it all because I was severely depressed and sick (a depression that caused me to stop attending the meetings - rather than my complete lack of faith). I'm going to say I hope to see them in paradise. I'm probably going to drown myself because I think that would be the nicest of all ways to go...this world is just way to hard, I don't know if there is such thing as an afterlife...but I'm a faithless, hopeless, loveless, ugly, wreck of a human and I can't stand the idea of living any longer than this. I think 23 years old is a good enough age for my life to end. It's certainly been an interesting one. But It gives me so much peace to think it's almost over.

kairos

please see a doctor immediately.

rebelfighter

What country are you in? Most countries have hot lines please please call a hot line now! Talk to someone seek help. NOW please you have your whole life ahead of you. Please call now.

EyesOpenHeartBroken

PLEASE,PLEASE go to the hospital or call a suicide hotline now!

I am so sorry for you deep pain. You are worth so much more than you think.

💔

FayeDunaway

Do not let that ridiculous cult win! Your life is more than this. I know you feel lonely right now and hopeless and have low self esteem but you WILL be happier someday and you WILL say to yourself I'm so glad I kept fighting.

GrreatTeacher

I don't think this is a good choice. And I don't think you would make it if you had the support you need.

Can you talk to us about what parts of your life don't feel like they're working? Financial? Educational? Relationships? Emotional? If we have some more information, there are many experts on tnis forum who are willing to help.

I'm going to tread carefully here and tell you that I actually understand what you mean when you say that you feel better that it's almost over.I felt that way when I was having a mental health crisis and had decided to go to the emergency room. What was almost over was my suffering, not my LIFE.

We need to help you find an end to your SUFFERING. My 'end' started in the emergency room and it lined me up for the intensive help I needed, and I needed lots!

I think it would be totally appropriate for you to go to the emergency room and just tell them you feel 'done.' You need help so much that you are thinking about hurting yourself and you can't do it alone anymore.

It's their job to help you find 'help.' They are professionals with the local resources to help you. They have an entire higher education invested in helping with these kinds of difficult life problems. There are whole systems of people and resources available to help you. Go tell them you're done doing it on your own and need their help.

Until then, post here, talk to us. Everyone here understands, many have been in your shoes (including myself) and we WANT to help.

We're listening...

oppostate

LaurenM, I feel very ill equipped to offer some words of help. But, I do want to say that I'm really sorry you're going through this "faithless, hopeless, loveless, ugly, wreck" of a time.

You're not broken beyond any wreck life throws at us if you can depend on others to be there, to listen, to make you feel understood. And most of all to tell you that there'll be better days.

You have so many here that check the forum messages daily. Share what you're going through. Take it day by day and the days will get a little better. There will always be those days that suck and make you want to give up on life, but your life is precious and it can be worthwhile.

Being so young, 23, you have so many experiences ahead--some will be good, some will be bad. But the best I've known are the ones I've shared with others and you too will learn this, it's part of getting older. Hanging out with people who care will make all the difference. Please know there are caring folks here that you can message or phone if you'd like.

GrreatTeacher

Important point, oppostate. Some days are bad, but other days are better.

Life can be like bobbing in the ocean; sometimes you are in a trough, but then another wave will come along and push you up to the crest, closer to the sun.

HappyOutsideTheBox

Aw Lauren, you are in a limbo situation just now. The JW’s are not a ‘fit, and the ‘world’ seems alien to you. Remember thought it’s only been a short while that you have been out. It’s a scary transition to make. It’s fraught with scary new things and all the while our heads are whirling with the past teaching we lived by.

You are precious - there is so much life ahead of you. Happy life where you can discover who you are and what you want. There are billions of lovely people on the earth. You will fit in. You will find friend who you can trust. You will be happy.

You don’t feel that way just now I know but this is too big a burden for you to carry on your own. Wherever you are (I’m guessing the US) there will be a helpline service that you can talk with. Check out: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ their number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and they are available 24/7.

Please know that you are not alone.

Hugs,

HOTB

nonjwspouse

Out of the Darkness.

A walk my close friends participate each year for suicide prevention awareness.They still carry the pain of their son's suicide. I know too any families with their children gone, many about our age, due to this same thing. I also know families that were fortunate enough to still have their children that got through this period of darkness, and into the light. Those same children found a newness in life. They help others and find happiness.

No one knows your personal pain, but there is no pain that isn't just as great for another human being, it's all relative, and different. We do not judge anyone's pain. Please realize there is a choice in life, and to end it, you take away the choice.

You need help to get through this period of suicide thoughts. Your life is precious. So precious. You don't know what lies ahead for you. No one knows what lies ahead for themselves. We are each on a journey. Yours is super difficult at this point.

Please call that hotline and allow help. Please.

Suicide Idea

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