Is my friend on the way out of the organisation?

by The Rebel 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    When I left the watchtower I realised it was best to put friendships on hold. However I mentioned to my best friend that I didn't agree with how they handled child abuse issues and that was one of the reasons I left.

    Anyway as I am fortunate and own two rental apartments and he is a plumber so we have kept in contact, in that I email him when I require his services and he sends me the invoice. Anyway I am now dissociated, but yesterday I emailed him about a pluming problem, and he replied.

    " Sorry we missed going to the Indian ( this was a comment made about us having a meal together about 9 months ago, which I backed out of because I felt he was too indoctrinated and I had not disassociated myself) Anyway his email continued:-

    "would be interesting to catch up, was interested in your comment about paedophiles. It also seems there is an issue with money at the moment as they stopped work at Chelmsford and some bethelites have been laid off"

    He then signed off " will report back tonight when I've done the job"

    I was thinking when he reports back, I have 3 options:-

    A) To say, I noted your comment about paedophiles and suggest you look up the Australian Royal Commission and Jehovers Witness.

    B) Ask to meet for an Indian and let him have it. ( surely he wouldn't agree to meet if he is still indoctrinated?

    Or my current preferred option,:-

    C) Just pay the plumbing bill, and say if you want to talk I am here for you.

    This is a big decision for me, as all those years knocking on doors, my now greatest achivement would be to help my dear friend out the Watchtower. Therefore advice would be appreciated.

    The Rebel.

  • cappytan
    I say a mixture of A & C. Tell him you've heard some of the same things and that you're there for him if he needs to vent in confidence.
  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Thank you Cappytan. And I would add this would be a difficult decision for him, as his wife and kids are completely indoctrinated.

    The Rebel.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    go for a meal together---and shut the fuck up !! no religous talk--just be mates again.
  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Thanks Stan livedeath, that's very good advice, and it's a shame meeting a friend should even generate such questions. But that's religion for you. Having said that since I left the congregation, I've been lucky to get a sincere hello from many I considered better than that. And since my dissociation, I don't even get that.

    The Rebel.

  • stuckinarut2

    Just be a good friend. Don't raise anything controversial, unless he wants to....

    then remain calm and don't fire back with too much information too quickly...or it might spook him back into the cult mindset.

  • freddo

    Don't go for the meal (if he agrees) too locally for his sake. If he gets seen with you things may unravel too quickly for him.

    Of course he could be keeping you sweet for the work you give him but then again you might explain any discovered meeting between you as a business discussion.

  • The Rebel
    The Rebel

    Freedo "don't go for the meal locally as if he gets seen with you" Excellent point. I would also hate to think that he could make the mistake and mention it to wife.

    Anyway I know he is not keeping me sweet for the work I give him. The odd job work I give him he does in the evening as a favour.

    The Rebel.

  • TheListener

    I think not saying anything before going to a meal. At the meal just talk about regular stuff that long friends who haven't kept in close contact talk about. If he brings up witness stuff keep calm and listen. Don't unleash your apostate knowledge on him.

    Pretty much what others have said.

  • tim3l0rd

    I say go to a meal with him and just act like a friend. If he brings up the pedophile problem or asks questions, answer them. I wouldn't unload everything on him. Let him ask questions first. Then you can start asking him questions to lead him to the answers. Just like we were taught as JWs, use leading questions.

    Helping Someone Leave is my favorite page on

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