Beth Sarim

I'm glad they've come up with the invention of 'bidets'.

stan livedeath: "--i bet youve watched your dog licking its arse hole and you wished you could do the same. The A&Eve - induced imperfection sets in at old age, when your spine, joints are so stiff that you can not reach down, can not put lick your rear, your put your foot in the mouth anymore, and the GB (foot in mouth) still manage to do it anyway. Remembering the animal tongue's reach is the reason why I do not let them lick me, and wished they use toilet paper too instead.

GrreatTeacher

Oh, dude, they DO need toilet paper!

I used to have a long-haired cat with dingleberries.

When I took her to the groomers, I had to ask them to shave her butt!

They acted like it was an everyday request and didn't even charge extra.

slimboyfat

I think if humans are healthy, eat the right diet, and crouch, then they don't need it either. I'm not any of those three, but in theory I think that's how it works.

Island Man

You make a good point. Creationists expect us to believe that the bull was intelligently designed to keep its ass free of bullshit; but the human mind - not so much.

Slidin Fast

Thats it! No more toilet paper for me. Since I am part of the highest life form on the planet I am going to exercise my superiority by refusing to wipe. If my dog doesn't need to the neither do I.

Who wants to help me celebrate by asking me round for dinner? I am very good company.

James Mixon

I will invite you to dinner, but don't touch sh---t, I mean keep your hands in your pocket.

In fact just knock on my door and I will place your dinner on my steps.

fulltimestudent

Cant resist - evil smile!

Thinking about the topic, these thoughts rise to the surface of the septic tank >

But first, we must remind ourselves of our evolutionary past. To do that I've chosen (arbitrarily) this 'New Scientist" time line:

DAILY NEWS

4 September 2006

Timeline: Human Evolution

Five skulls belonging to some ancestors and relatives of modern humans. From left to right, the skulls are: Australopithecus africanus (3-1.8 mya); Homo habilis (or H. rudolfensis, 2.1-1.6 mya); Homo erectus (or H. ergaster, 1.8-0.3 mya, although the ergaster classification is generally recognised to mean the earlier part of this period); a modern human (Homo sapiens sapiens) from the Qafzeh site in Israel, which is around 92,000 years old; and a French Cro-Magnon human from around 22,000 years ago

55 million years ago (MYA)

First primitive primates evolve

8 – 6 MYA

First gorillas evolve. Later, chimp and human lineages diverge

5.8 MYA

Orrorin tugenensis, oldest human ancestor thought to have walked on two legs

5.5 MYA

Ardipithecus, early “proto-human” shares traits with chimps and gorillas, and is forest-dwelling

4 MYA

Australopithecines appear. They have brains no larger than a chimpanzee’s – with a volume around 400 – 500 cm3 -, but walk upright on two legs. First human ancestors to live on the savannah

3.2 MYA

Lucy, famous specimen of Australopithecus afarensis, lives near what is now Hadar, Ethiopia

2.7 MYA

Paranthropus, lives in woods and grasslands, has massive jaws for chewing on roots and vegetation. Becomes extinct 1.2 MYA

2.5 MYA

Homo habilis appears. Its face protrudes less than earlier hominids, but still retains many ape features. Has a brain volume of around 600 cm3

Hominids start to use stone tools regularly, created by splitting pebbles – this starts Oldowan tradition of toolmaking, which last a million years

Some hominids develop meat-rich diets as scavengers, the extra energy may have favoured the evolution of larger brains

2 MYA

Evidence of Homo ergaster, with a brain volume of up to 850 cm3, in Africa

1.8 – 1.5 MYA

Homo erectus is found in Asia. First true hunter-gatherer ancestor, and also first to have migrated out of Africa in large numbers. It attains a brain size of around 1000 cm3

1.6 MYA

Possible first sporadic use of fire suggested by discoloured sediments in Koobi Fora, Kenya. More convincing evidence of charred wood and stone tools is found in Israel and dated to 780,000 years ago

More complex Acheulean stone tools start to be produced and are the dominant technology until 100,000 years ago

600,000 YA

Homo Heidelbergensis lives in Africa and Europe. Similar brain capacity to modern humans

500,000 YA

Earliest evidence of purpose-built shelters – wooden huts – are known from sites near Chichibu, Japan

400,000 YA

Early humans begin to hunt with spears

325,000 YA

Oldest surviving early human footprints are left by three people who scrambled down the slopes of a volcano in Italy

280,000 YA

First complex stone blades and grinding stones

230,000 YA

Neanderthals appear and are found across Europe, from Britain in the west to Iran in the east, until they become extinct with the advent of modern humans 28,000 years ago

195,000 YA

Our own species Homo sapiens appears on the scene – and shortly after begins to migrate across Asia and Europe. Oldest modern human remains are two skulls found in Ethiopia that date to this period. Average human brain volume is 1350 cm3

170,000 YA

Mitochondrial Eve, the direct ancestor to all living people today, may have been living in Africa

150,000 YA

Humans possibly capable of speech. 100,000-year-old shell jewellery suggests that that people develop complex speech and symbolism

140,000 YA

First evidence of long-distance trade

110,000 YA

Earliest beads – made from ostrich eggshells – and jewellery

50,000 YA

“Great leap forward”: human culture starts to change much more rapidly than before; people begin burying their dead ritually; create clothes from animal hides; and develop complex hunting techniques, such as pit-traps.

Colonisation of Australia by modern humans

33,000 YA

Oldest cave art. Later, Stone Age artisans create the spectacular murals at Lascaux and Chauvet in France

Homo erectus dies out in Asia – replaced by modern man

18,000 YA

Homo Floresiensis, “Hobbit” people, found on the Indonesian island of Flores. They stand just over 1 metre tall, and have brains similar in size to chimpanzees, yet have advanced stone tools

12,000 YA

Modern people reach the Americas

10,000 YA

Agriculture develops and spread. First villages. Possible domestication of dogs

5,500 YA

Stone Age ends and Bronze Age begins. Humans begin to smelt and work copper and tin, and use them in place of stone implements

5,000 YA

Earliest known writing

4,000 to 3,500 BC

The Sumerians of Mesopotamia develop the world’s first civilisation

JRK

God lovingly made poop tapered so our asses don't slam shut.

JK

prologos

the problem was the invention of the toilet, bidet, it eliminated the wide opening crouch. now, even paper is not enough I have to wash every time.

Animals were created without needing Toilet Paper ... but not Man ... Why???