Did You Have Good Relationships With The Elders?

by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    My experience was that most JWs wanted to have an elder “friend” just in case they got into any “trouble “.Kinda like knowing that certain cop who might get you out of a jam.

    Of course there was another group who did everything they could to either kiss the elders’ ass or stonewall them anytime they came snooping around.

    How did you and the “older men” get along?

  • New day
    New day

    I was one of the “older men” for twenty years. Now I just stonewall them when they get too close.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Current elders generally don’t seem to want to go after us. They may say they miss us, need us, blah blah blah. I just stay away and no one bothers me.

  • FaithLess
    FaithLess
    The PO when I was growing up was pretty cool. He wasn't born into this. He knew a lot about counter culture and old b movies. The TMSO was a nice dude, never do I recall him ever giving a W. I see him near daily and wave every time. Once a friend of mine said he called him over to drink a couple beers and argue about religion , said he came right over. One of my best friends was a former elder who stepped down when his wife left him long before I was born. He was 73 I was 15. He became an elder again after getting remarried at 74. But most of those old dudes... You know the ones who drive Buicks because they still remember the deal the GB made with Buick an eon ago... they would corner you in the hall and bore you to death, maybe the occasional lecture. I think I got so far out there they kinda even quit paying attention, plus I never winced or backed down from a stance, and could always more than hold my own with watchtower reasoning about how there wasn't a problem...Hell all those guys must me dead by now. Are there still plenty of Buicks in the parking lot?
  • lastmanstanding
    lastmanstanding

    I have a good relationship with the bulk of the body I serve on.

    yep... still servin’... on paper LOL

    I recently had a textual with, we will call him young elder Jay, and he used several interesting phrases to refer to elders sent in from the branch.

    His words last week.

    ”didn’t think to highly of any of those guys”

    ”total disaster”

    “these bozo”

    Regarding the hall

    ””that damn hall is way too much work”

    ”I’ll lose my mind”

    ”those dang stupid stones”

    ”insane”

    ”fed up with the crap”

    The dubs would be so happy if the hall was gone, and I have heard many comments on that. One sister was quite open, her hubby is an elder, she feels the preaching was BS and the hall too.

    The Borg is coming unglued.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Last man... how do you still do it!???? Do you try to mold opinion against the Watchtower? Is the position that keeps you in? Why are you still there? Honest question.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    MINIMUS:

    I had to look at the date of the thread because I know I answered this question before.

    When I was new in the JW religion and not wise to the real story, I was friendly to elders...But, as time went on though, I came to see them as ‘company men’ who were just there to find fault.

    Worse, was the attitude I picked up towards single women and working people who didn’t pioneer.. The mentality was also that I was there to be targeted to do favors for older people and other Users. I got news for everybody: I would never go anywhere I was the target for anything!

    After the negative treatment I received because I had a full time job, I made sure I was never available to do favors for anybody.

  • rh3988
    rh3988

    Things seemed okay with the elders as a kid, but as a born-in I really didn't know any better. It wasn't until I got much older that they seemed to nitpick at everything. It was like they wanted me to mess up so they'd have a reason to take judicial action against me. As a youngster I was completely ignorant to how toxic the organization is. I'll never forget how I felt when I was appointed as a MS at a young age. I took it as proof that Jehovah had forgiven me for all those times I had masterfully baited my hook, seemingly placing more importance on fishing than on furthering kingdom interests. But now I say f&@k Watchtower. The only Watchtower I acknowledge is the one Bob Dylan sang about.

  • Queequeg
    Queequeg

    I got along fine with the elders. I looked up to one or two as a kid. After becoming a ministerial servant in my late teens that started to wane. Once I was an elder and saw more and more of the behind the scenes stuff, I realized that a lot of them were morons and or assholes. But I was nice, and got along because I thought it was the truth. I rationalized that the bullshit had to be a local phenomenon.

    For the record, there were some genuinely nice elders.

    As I had more and more "responsibilities" as an elder, I was having more and more dealings with elders in other towns, cities and even other states, I realized the funk wasn't just local (not James Brown type funk, but actual stench). At my "peak", hanging out in the bowels of the convention center with the Circuit overseer, District Overseer, and Governing Body member for the three days of the District Convention. I was starting to realize that the bullshit rose all the way to the top. Lol, that weekend I was the Chairman on Sunday morning and the night before I was looking at "Apostate" stuff on the interwebz!

    When I say bullshit, I specifically mean, lots of politics, competition, egomaniacs, lack of any real training regarding counseling people, bullying, self promotion, nepotism (oh gods, the list is too big!).

    Actually, now that I revisit the opening post... I got along fine, but I didn't have that many great relationships with any elders actually.

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    The first 10 years I was in as a convert I was involved in 5 congregations and didn`t have much to do with elders / PO`s as thy were then called .Though a couple of them were sincere nice guys as I remember.

    The next 22 years I was involved with 3 congregations all in the same area and socialised with a number of elders and MS who were an easy going lot.Very laid back where we used to go to restaurants after meetings , go camping on long weekends or longer.,

    and a few of us hob-nobbed at each others house for meals either playing scrabble or watching football where there was always plenty of alcohol to go around. But always in moderation .

    .Many were self employed in the building game as either plasterers,tilers,painters,builders,etc, and a couple of us were employed full time ,one elder a salesman and me a lab technician with an oil company.

    It was really a nice social club my wife and I were in.

    Of course their were also other elders who were older and not in the same clique as us,one being a real nut case.

    So I would consider myself one of the lucky ones considering what many of you had to put up with in your congregations.

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