To Fade or Disassociate
In fading, the decision by the fader's family to shun him/her remains the choice of each family member. By disassociating, the family will have little choice but to shun him/her if that family member wishes to remain in good standing as a JW.
Fading will generally work for most people, but DA'ing will then remain an option if needed. Once the person DA's, that is an ultimate Black or White position, with no further options available.
WT want everything to be technical and legalistic for their benefit. They label everyone, even when they are not certain that label is justified. In declaring that you wish to DA will clearly define your position without further doubt, so they can and will officially place a DA'd label on you and treat you in the manner dictated. A DF'd or DA'd label, that is a distinction without a difference.
Although many JWs may proceed to shun even if you fade, they really won't have an official reason to do so. Since you are technically still a JW, some may continue to be friendly. Unless you say something against the Org or GB, they will typically label you as weak, lazy or having been stumbled.
As none of the labels they will provide are positive, does it really matter what label they place on you?
How you as the person wishing to leave views yourself, is what matters most. Once you decide to leave, you should consider yourself out either way. You can then define your own label such as 'Former-JW', "Ex-JW" or whatever you want.
Let me add this:
If you Dub mate loves Jeehoober more than you, then you may just find yourself out in the cold.
Hopefully, your single.
I guess the only issue is that the majority of my family are still in. I've tried to explain to them that they are trapped in a high control group but whenever I do, their defense mode goes up and it's in that moment that they want nothing to do with me. Fading is the best choice but it seems a bit difficult, i know that people fade and they go to extremes such as even moving to another part of town or even another state to avoid questions from their family asking which congregation or Kingdom Hall they attend or what circuit they're in, it's ridiculous