Don't give them 2019

by snare&racket 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Great post!

    Thank you!

  • snare&racket

    I’m so sorry, I wrote it very late at night on my old iPad (like 3am) after a whiskey or two and it’s a grammatical shambles. But hey ho!

    My sentiments were sincere. I hope more leave this year as there is a life worth living!

    For those that felt it necessary to write a reply saying that the post was too long and so didn’t read it...... then the post wasn’t for you and that’s ok. I had an amazing Christmas and felt compelled to communicate years of thoughts to try and help others leave..... that and the Whiskey.

    Have a good 2019, I hope you have the bravery to leave if you are still in!

  • sillygirlforgotpassword

    Snare, I loved every bit of your post. Thank you for penning the whiskey infused words down ;) - they make for a brillant end of year message !

  • steve2

    Snare and racket, thank you for your considered reply. Be aware that, even though I said in my earlier comment that your OP is far too long, I stil read every word of it. You have an impassioned writing style which is great to see - very well written for someone saying he had had a couple of strong drinks.

  • snare&racket

    Half a bottle of famous grouse to be exact 😬

    Maybe I should have left it for another time but everyone (not JW’ or exJW’s) had gone to bed and I was left to my own thoughts for a little time.

    I’m sad someone said it was preachy. My whole point was to make clear that you shouldn’t listen to me but I’m compelled to say it all the same. Life was REALLY hard after I left, I had nothing. But it was still the best thing I ever did!

  • Phoebe


    It was great. If you want to pour it all out after a whiskey or two go ahead. It's good to share our thoughts and feelings and it's cathartic to write it down. Life is definitely hard after we leave and your words can help people.

    I am taking your words to heart and doing my best not to give WT 2019.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Loved the post, Snare!

    Yes it was lengthy, but no one could doubt your sincerity for one minute.

    As far as the negative comments about not being able to "leave", I think a person has to determine what level of "leaving" is right for them It appears that you (Snare) ended up DFd or DAd over doctrine (all the lies and false prophesies for decades). I would bet you went into that meeting hoping someone would understand. Of course, they couldn't and didn't. (They were not ready.) But I believe that a person can "leave" by simply fading or "faking".

    My wife and I and our family are in a successful "fade". We are not harassed. Nor or we contacted socially, but no one actually shuns us. We are left alone and that is OK. It works for us. We no longer feel we are captives to the WTS. It is no longer the driving force in our lives.

    My closest JW friend is PIMO. He "fakes" it. He attends meetings spasmodically and does some token Field Circus (at Starbucks mostly). He has maintained his circle of JW friends, most of whom are fringe JW's too. This works for him.

    Thanks for the heartfelt "share"!

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

    (It would appear to me you have gotten your revenge!)

  • snare&racket


    I never stepped into my KH again.

    I didn’t try and play their game or explain myself and my feelings, I realised after that meeting that there was ‘Obey’ or ‘Go away’.

    So I ‘faded’ and simply left. I didn’t respond to requests to have a friendly chat or phone call. I declined requests to study again and explained that my spirituality was my own personal issue. Over time every last JW stopped contact, including very close friends. Of course true friends don’t care if you believe in Zeus or worship Mr T.

    There were huge consequences and very hard times. I was living in my car and penniless. I had no job and no qualifications. I started from scratch. But it was 100% the best thing I ever did.

    My only regret.... I didn’t do it earlier!

  • Vidiot
    snare&racket - "...Why was I so scared to read something negative about Watchtower?"

    'Cause you were scared it might be true.

    Same as me.

  • DesirousOfChange

    My only regret.... I didn’t do it earlier! ~ Snare

    I guess that is our regret as well. We were in our 50's after giving our best years to the Cult. Not early enough to go back to school and pursue something different in life. I applaud the fact that you (and others here) did that. I'm especially thankful that our kids are not wasting their time on the JDub hamster wheel and instead all have made good career choices.

    Best wishes for your continued success!


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