by Englishman 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • teenyuck
    I do not believe that confessing to a priest is all that beneficial or necessary, but I think confession in other circumstances should be done.

    Confess to who SP?

    That is the whole point.....who does one decide to *confess* something to? Your mom and/or dad? Your spouse? Your kids?

    I had my mom confess fornication to age 15. She then went to the elders and *confessed* and was DFd. After undergoing a rigerous left a very bad taste in her mouth. And mine. I would NEVER confess to those PHARISEES after watching what they did to my mother.

    OTOH, my sister confessed to fornication to my mother. She promptly called her a whore. I again realized the waste of time confession was. Why get verbally abused for something you already knew was wrong?

    So, who do you confess something you already know is wrong to?

  • Yerusalyim

    Confession, definitely good for the soul. This even from a secular view point. One of the major steps in AA is to "admit to God (as you understand him) yourself, and another human being the exact nature of your wrongs." Far from throwing off responsibility for our actions this calls for us to do just that TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. The Catholic Confietor says it well, "I confess to Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters that I have sinned THROUGH MY OWN FAULT, In my thoughts and in my words, In what I've done, and what I've FAILED TO DO"

    The cathartic experience of confession is cleansing and liberating, on the one hand we admit and accept personal resonsibility, on the other, we lift the burden of guilt that plauges us.

    Why do you think Therapists are doing such a grand business these days?

    I could go into the biblical grounds for confession to a priest...but that would probably just bore most of you.

    Confession JW style...not necessarily good..."here's your punishment...maybe we'll forgive you later" As oppossed to the Catholic approach of forgiveness and acceptance right away.

  • teenyuck

    Why don't you all just talk to yourself's, tell yourself's your an idiot for doing *it*, and move on?

    Why the need to tell strangers your deepest secrets?

  • teenyuck

    Therapy and confession are different.

    Confession and having God forgive you is a bunch of *Hooey*. Forgive my

    I see absolutely no reason to go tell a man in a wood booth that I did *such and such*, have him tell me to say three Hail Mary's and I will be forgiven. That is so insane.

    If God cared, I should be able to pray about it and be done with it. Why would God make it so hard, Yeru?

  • Scully

    I suppose it all depends on the gravity of the "error" that one is confessing, and the burden of guilt it creates within them.

    Carrying around a big secret that makes a person feel guilty isn't healthy. Confessing / venting / unloading that burden frees up emotional energy that can be channelled in positive ways, while keeping guilt bottled up can eat away at a person and distract them from an otherwise productive existence.

    Keeping a journal is a way of debriefing ourselves of daily experiences that cause us to feel bad/ good/ annoyed/ happy/ sad/ stupid etc. Writing things down helps us exorcise those feelings of guilt before they become overwhelming burdens. It doesn't require that anyone else is privy to our criticism of ourselves. It helps us put things in perspective. In six months' time, when we look at our entries that seemed like monumental screw-ups today, we can see them in a more objective light.

    Of course, if you have a best friend whom you know isn't going to hold anything against you that you tell them, confessing over a few pints is usually very refreshing.

    Love, Scully

  • StinkyPantz


    If you think that confessing is unnecessary then so be it. I disagree.

    Why the need to tell strangers your deepest secrets?

    And who said confessing is only done to strangers? I was talking about confessing IN GENERAL.

  • Yerusalyim


    I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with religion. Mine has been quite different, and I find the confessional quite liberating. It works even better than journaling, in my case at least..and in what I've seen. Involving another human being in your failing helps with the RESPONSIBILITY part and with the UNBURDENING it's no longer a grand SECRET (which is the failing of remains a secret.)

    Just my humble opinion...and anecdotal evidence.

  • guesswho
    Therapy and confession are different.

    Yes, confession is free

  • teenyuck

    I don't have any deep dark secrets that need to be confessed; however....I do talk with my friends and my husband all the time about *stuff*.

    I will never understand how telling someone, spouse, kid, priest, etc. can take away the guilt. You still did the deed.

    If you understand that and you accept responsibility for it, why does someone telling you that what you did was bad (you already knew it was bad or you would not be confessing, right?) make you feel better? It seems like going in a circle.

    If you follow the Tina Method, it is over quick:

    1. I screwed up.

    2. Depending on how bad, apologize to other person, or just to myself.

    3. Resolve not to do the same deed again.

    4. Move on and place the deed in memory bank so I can remember what it felt like to screw up.

    5. Go on with life. Smile.

    See. It is clean and simple.

  • Yerusalyim


    Unfortunately, your method doesn't work for most people.

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