Do JW's ever really grow up ?

by Phizzy 20 Replies latest social family

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell
    He is super naive sometimes, which is why he was taken as a victim during the housing mortgage scams of the early 2000''s. He was unable to recognize the need to actually read/understand/research what he was signing. The FBI had a look of feeling sorry for him ( Thankfully he was recognized as a just a victim not capable of being guilty in the scam. He lost a good deal of money in the process and still has no idea how much or why. He still has not put himself to the task to figure out how it happened, which means he could be take by the same scheme again if it was presented). It's scary how childlike his thought processes are, especially his financial irresponsibility. He uses procrastination and ignoring instead of handling matters. He would have been bankrupt years ago if I was not in the picture. I see this as a part of the JW mindset. if it6 is too difficult then they don't bother researching.

    I can relate and I am sure that money others on here could to. In the JDub world you are never taught to grow up and are so naive and trusting. I only really grew up when I broke free of the mind control.

    Note: This is also why the Dubs are prime victims of every quick rich, MLM pyramid schemes that are around.

  • Vidiot
    Phizzy - "Do JWs ever really grow up?"


    They usually end up here.


    JWs do grow up, they get old and they die...just like everyone else.

  • snugglebunny

    Cults impede maturation.

    Drugs impede maturation.

    There must be a connection..

  • scratchme1010

    I ask the above because of my personal experience. As a born-in I was naive, socially inept and had never really thought deeply about anything.

    I was also unable to accept arguments based upon reason and facts.

    Just like a child.

    It was only after freeing myself from the Mind-control of the JW cult that I educated myself and matured as a person to being (almost) an adult.

    JW's attitudes and their inability to debate in any meaningful way, (they could start by actually listening),means they have not grown up.

    As another born-in, I too was naive (to a hi degree, though I've always been very observant and a fast learner). Socially I was awkward.

    In my case, however, I developed a lot of independent thinking. I had to, that's how I survived. I learned a lot by observing people in the congregation's behaviors.

    Once out, my attitude was one of freedom and wanting to make up for lost time, so I started trying to learn as much as possible as fast as possible. However, later I did learn an important lesson, which is that it was important not to completely dismiss my JW past. For once, not everything they say is necessarily untrue when it comes to the kind of people one should let in their lives. The part that they get very wrong with that is that they claim that they are the keepers.

    The JW way of thinking, the tunnel vision, the naive explanation for things, the black and white mentality, all those things can be removed from your life. It is possible to learn to think differently. I did. However, emotionally, the negative influence of that organization is always going to haunt me. I try to keep it to a minimum.

    But yes, as an ex-JW with now plenty to show for, I can definitely tell you that we do grow up, we do get rid of their way of thinking and acting. It's possible, though it feels very uncomfortable at times. Just make sure not to become what they claim you should if you leave them. I didn't and I am way happier and a much better person once I sent them to hell.

  • Vidiot
    snugglebunny - "Cults impede maturation. Drugs impede maturation. There must be a connection."

    Ya think? :smirk:

    I've lost count of how many times I've heard of fundamentalism being compared to hard narcotics.

  • HiddlesWife

    @William Penwell=> I agree wholeheartedly with the final comment from your latest post:

    Note: This is also why the Dubs are prime victims of every quick rich, MLM pyramid schemes that are around.

    A few years ago, I have dealt with a number of Dubs who were heavily involved in a number of network marketing ventures. The companies which these R&Fs represented used the methods of recruitment ("acquisitions") and meetings ("mini conferences") from the Dubs who became big money-makers in their organization [methods such as, handing out flyers and placing them under doors of many households; phone calls to acquaintances and anonymous persons, etc]. These Dubs were so heavily involved in the above to the extent that any Dubs or non-Dubs who did not reach certain achievement levels were shunned/ostracized as well--categorized as "liabilities" and "dead weights"! After hearing from a couple of friends about this situation, I decided not to get fully involved in these schemes and have rejected offers from anyone who want me to be their "downline" in their sales organizations.

  • Vidiot


    A resurrection.


  • Sorry

    Yes. I see this in my father, mother and if I'm being completely honest, myself.

    My father left the dubs when he was 18 and returned 30 years later. My mother wasn't born in and met my dad a while after he left. They went through some hardships in those days and that's why they think it's the truth, but they both fail to realize they have many more hardships now.

    Starting with my dad, he has always been emotionally unstable and financially irresponsible. But he made a lot more money back then and was under less stress, so his problems weren't noticeable. Now that he's back with the dubs, he has less money and seems unable to control his emotional outbursts, which is mostly anger. This leads him to constantly scream out childish insults or the "silent treatment". He spends compulsively and pays the bills he wants, and leaves the rest to Jehovah. He flat out told me that life doesn't have shades of grey, that's a lie perpetrated by "the world". Everything is either/or. He'll never admit it, but everything he does is for the approval of the elders and to fit in with them, it's like teenage peer pressure. He never does anything without consulting them for permission, like he's their kid. In some ways he does gives valuable life lessons, but for the most part he acts bizarrely immature.

    My mom is more practical than my dad having not been born in, she can see different sides in situations. She also has a great handle on her emotions, and is rational with money. However, she is very "my way or the highway" and won't debate or listen to facts if it in any way conflicts with her thoughts. When upset, she also goes into the silent treatment and throws out vicious insults towards people if she doesn't agree with them or they didn't do something she wanted. She doesn't lose control of her emotions often but when she does, it mostly consists of a tantrum involving yelling and throwing her limbs like a 3 year old.

    As for me, I'm a mix of them. Like my dad, I'm extremely emotional and can be loose with money. Like my mom, I'm very stubborn and can act really cold if I don't get my way. I'm also kinda naive and way too trusting with people. However, unlike them, I love a good debate and can accept if I'm wrong or consider a new viewpoint. I acknowledge life isn't clean cut and there are grey areas. I also couldn't care less on how others view me and am not particularly star struck by people in power (elders and MS).

    Like my Nana used to say, "Some people grow old, not up. Just ask your mother."

  • Ucantnome

    I think my parents were grown up when they joined.

Share this