Do JW's ever really grow up ?

by Phizzy 20 Replies latest social family

  • Phizzy

    I ask the above because of my personal experience. As a born-in I was naive, socially inept and had never really thought deeply about anything.

    I was also unable to accept arguments based upon reason and facts.

    Just like a child.

    It was only after freeing myself from the Mind-control of the JW cult that I educated myself and matured as a person to being (almost) an adult.

    JW's attitudes and their inability to debate in any meaningful way, (they could start by actually listening),means they have not grown up.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    JW's attitudes and their inability to debate in any meaningful way, (they could start by actually listening),means they have not grown up - that's a good point.

    But I think at least some JWs do grow up. Not in the real world but within their WT structure. I have known some JWs that in some ways were mature.

  • Spiral

    Phizzy, you are asking a question that I've had occasion to think about lately. Some JWs are "mature" in JW speak but for the most part, they do tend to be backwards socially. I think this could apply to a lot of religious groups, if they try to keep themselves "separate" from the world. Just an observation that seems true for my location.

  • Xanthippe

    Good thread Phizzy. If you block parts of your mind so as not to see reality because it contradicts your belief system you're going to stay immature. We must never be afraid to look at ideas that challenge us. It's not comfortable, it's not fun but we grow and we learn to be happy in the real world, with all it's problems.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    It is definitely an interesting subject, I have spoken about this with my sister. My mother, still a JW (since 1960), has never really matured, she is just like a child. She didn't need to deal with "the real world", which meant that her personality did not develop with experience. Just like a child, she was shielded from dealing with adult situations.

    Me? Not so bad, however, I will say that I am lacking experience that my husband has, as he was a construction contractor, and had to deal with "worldly" situations and people all the time. He discussed these things with me, but it is quite different when you are "the one" that has to go head to head with someone.

    Socially, in JW world I got along just fine, had many friends.... but, of course, they have to be your friend because we are a "spiritual family." I hate to think of what it would have been like if they didn't "have" to like me, as some said, "it took me two years to really get to know you, and I really love you now, but before, I just couldn't understand you... However, after leaving JWville, I did make friends with the nurses while working at a hospital. No problem there...

    After you leave......... what do you talk about? That has been hard for me. I don't know "politics", haven't "traveled", am not into "sports"... can't talk about the "games" as JWs are not suppose to be into that. Etc, etc..... That does make it hard. No experiences, no talk....

    My sister has been isolated for a lot of her life.... She never got baptized, but was always an "outsider" JW... Being nice to the older ones in the congregation, going to meetings most of the time, but always fearing Armageddon. She was isolated from "the world" and also JWs, as she was never "in" all the way... right? You know how it is, never in the world, never in "the truth.' Limbo... So, I would say that she has been limited also.

    Conclusion: Yes, I would say that many JWs are not as "grown up" as they would have been, if they had really experienced "life".

  • DesirousOfChange

    Do JWs ever really grow up?

    SOME DO. The Pew Poll says 2 out of 3 do so. And then they leave "The Troof". . . . . Doc

  • nonjwspouse

    My observations of my husbands inability to defend his "for sure , this is ho it is" type comments on pretty much anything shows me how he ever learned critical thinking. Has no idea of how to begin using his own mind to think, research , create positions and opinions from expert resources. This is a juvelile way of thought process. One as a 54 year old he has never gotten past.

    He is dumbfounded ans confused when he is presented with proof opposite from what he "thought" and convincingly proclaimed was the correct thing. This can be in just about anything in life. It6 is a mind set ( not just about JW related stuff)

    He is super naive sometimes, which is why he was taken as a victim during the housing mortgage scams of the early 2000''s. He was unable to recognize the need to actually read/understand/research what he was signing. The FBI had a look of feeling sorry for him ( Thankfully he was recognized as a just a victim not capable of being guilty in the scam. He lost a good deal of money in the process and still has no idea how much or why. He still has not put himself to the task to figure out how it happened, which means he could be take by the same scheme again if it was presented). It's scary how childlike his thought processes are, especially his financial irresponsibility. He uses procrastination and ignoring instead of handling matters. He would have been bankrupt years ago if I was not in the picture. I see this as a part of the JW mindset. if it6 is too difficult then they don't bother researching.

    I see myself digressing.. sorry.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Yes, they do grow up. They turn into ex-JWs

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Like drugs and alcohol, religion can also cause "arrested development" in individuals.

    People can cease to progress as individuals once they allow their lives to be heavily influenced or taken over by one or more of the above.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    The JDubs do not reason with an adult mind, everything is black and white in their minds. They can't think for themselves. They also use tactics that 5 year old children would use, like emotional blackmail, passive aggressive. I have always said that the religion or cult attracts some of the most dysfunctional, mentally unstable people.

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