original question- "When parents say all the things we've done for you and your not doing anything for us in return like going to meetings, witnessing, answering up etc.."
How is going to meetings, going door to door, etc... 'doing' anything for the parent? the only way it would be 'doing' anything for the parent is the parents standing with the rest of the cong. That sounds pretty selfish to me that they are worried about their own reputation rather than the spiritual/mental/physical well being of their child.
What do normal non jw's 'do' for their parents? they help them with yard work, household chores/fixing things, they go to lunch or bring a meal over, they call them and check up on them on a regular basis, etc.... they actually help them in real tangible ways no matter what their beliefs are. They honor their parents by being there and loving them in person. The parents gratefully accept and love their child even when the child believes some goofy thing or does stupid things in life. They know, in their wisdom, that we all must make our own mistakes and in the end will be responsible for our own eternity whatever that may be.
But then they have what some call 'natural affection' for each other. Something the wt regulates and allows or disallows depending on the current wt rag. How many times has the policy flip flopped?
The jw parent could, if they wished, to have a normal relationship with their non jw children. If they put love before men. The jw parents could change the entire shunning policy if they had just a bit of courage.