Do you (or did you) have much of a social life as a Jehovahs Witness.

by UnshackleTheChains 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LoveUniHateExams

    When I was a JW I had a social life. It was actually kinda good but I didn't know loads of people - I knew 4 or 5 people at my KH and each of them knew loads of people, so I often 'tagged along'.

    The one thing I hated was, sometimes I'd tag along and my JW mate didn't introduce me to the new people we were meeting up with. We'd driven from Orpington to a pub somewhere in, say, North London, Essex or Tonbridge Wells and I'd be standing there, not knowing everyone else!

    That happened more than once and I'm kinda shy so it was sometimes awkward - trying to talk and make friends with new people.

  • BluesBrother

    It all depends where you are and what you choose to make it. As a teen, I had nothing. Nobody my age in the home cong , no one I liked. Later I moved and found myself in a large city cong with a strong set of young people ...It was great , for the first time in my life I had friends and frequented bars ( in moderation of course) and even girl friends.

    After marriage we moved again and we found ourselves in a backwater that was dead, dead dead...!

    So, choose wisely where you go in Dubland .....

  • undercover

    Yes and no. As a kid not so much... our family wasn't in the right clique, or any clique. Lived somewhat isolated as a kid and young teenager. Late teens though, I had some friends, we had our own clique. Didn't last too long. People moved, people got married, people got DFd.

    As a young adult, married, had a few other couples we hung out with. Over time that faded, as kids came along, jobs and service to the bOrg wore us down and tired us out.

    I remember as a kid that there were more congregation picnics and events than there were later on, before I left. This in part because the WTS clamped down on the fun factor. If you've got time to bake a pie for a picnic, you got time to knock on doors...

    By the time I left, I really didn't have any friends. Just acquaintances. The only bond we had was the KH, and once that was broken, nothing was left to hold us together.

  • UnshackleTheChains
    This in part because the WTS clamped down on the fun factor. If you've got time to bake a pie for a picnic, you got time to knock on doors

    Yep....That's it in a nutshell đź‘Ť

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i was a teenager in the 60's--in birmingham UK. sunday nights after a circuit assembly meant--party time !!

  • outsideofcliche

    It is sad but true, in the interest to focus on the spiritual activities, we get unbalance and not develop regular ongoing activities to be an outlet for life, which cause a many youth to leave and purse outside interest and eventually left the organization.

  • Magnum

    Didn't have much; we were always so busy as JWs. You'd have to know my background to understand. Our lives were far from normal. We lived in travel trailers, a barn, a garage with no bathroom, a warehouse, etc. while pioneering and "seeking first the kingdom".

    We were well-liked and invited to all gatherings, but there just weren't that many, and I didn't enjoy them; they were really a chore. We never could be ourselves. Now that I look back, I feel that I was fake and wasn't true to myself. I really believed all the JW stuff and acted on it with sincerity, but I just didn't really like being around the JWs in my area.

    They just weren't normal people. Most didn't like the things I liked and weren't interested in the things I was interested in. I was interested in academic subjects - math, science, language, etc.; they couldn't care less about such. I once tried to explain to a JW friend who was a tradesman how to properly size extension cords (which he used often). I tried to tell him what gauge cord was needed for a certain number of amps. His reply was "I don't need to know that; I just buy the fattest one I can find." (That's word-for-word what he said).) We were good friends, but, just so different. I loved academics; he could barely put together a sentence. I was deeply concerned about animal suffering and welfare; he joked about horrible animal suffering and even bragged to me about doing something gruesome to an animal.

    My wife and I agree that we don't miss JWs in the slightest or any socializing with them. We're so glad we don't have to be around them anymore and always try to wear a certain persona. They were often goody goody and self-righteous and were so ignorant.

    However, I can see how some of you could have had some good experiences. You probably lived in areas that had at least a few normal people that you enjoyed being around.

    edited to add:

    My whole reason for being a JW was that I believed the doctrine and thought that millions of lives were at stake and I felt morally obligated to warn the world, and I wanted to please the JW god. I was never in it for social reasons. I much preferred socializing with my old non-JW friends.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    Magnum I felt the same way growing up. Although as a young person I did not get included and invited, when I did, I hated going. My husband and I were saying just last night that we don't miss anyone. They were never true friends. A family member posted a photo from an assembly with a diverse group of sisters and the caption read "love unconditionally". It's not unconditional as we all know.

    I used to always say "it's not a club. I am not in it for the people. I am in it for Jehovah." Lol. Now I think why do I want to live forever with these people?

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2

    In my case I've always preferred being in small groups and doing sports and outdoor stuff with friends so at times all the love bombing I got before baptism was almost too much for me to handle. Then as soon as I got dunked I was wife hunting which meant even more socialising™ and JW BS'ing. Hated it, felt like a prison. I'm basically a mountain man and a shop rat. Anyhow by my second or third year in English the big obese brother I studied with was trying to groom me into being an MS™ ( as his employee basically ) so I upped and left for the French hall closer to me where I could be left alone and Do Less™. Anyhow I brought both classic and skating technique cross country skiing to that first hall and even got some little groups out there skiing and mountain biking with me ( women !! ) Then in the french hall I was all about motocross and had a circle of younger brothers to ride with. We are all out now except for one young married plumber that was made elder in his late twenties. After having run into both him and his cute wife at the bike shop over the summer I later emailed I had DA'ed so no surprise when they both stopped talking to me or even taking walks down my street as they live close by.. Anyhow was fun while it lasted so Mr. Introvert aka Shop Rat here got to look at tons of women in tight skirts and smell their lovely perfume and oogle at assembly halls.

    Still single.. hehe

  • Diogenesister
    W friend who was a tradesman how to properly size extension cords (which he used often). I tried to tell him what gauge cord was needed for a certain number of amps. His reply was "I don't need to know that; I just buy the fattest one I can find."

    Oh LoL Magnum that's my husbands obsession he is always telling me off for using the wrong one!


    I certainly got invited to more stuff than my worldly peers when I was young ...we had cong parties, which was nice. We had music and food and did dances like the conga LoL! Lots of weddings, and dinners of course.

    I think in the 70s and 80s it was easier to mix in if you were not born in ( someone mentioned born in cliques, which I think are a thing now more so), people were open and this frightful phrase " not of our sort"( Paul sometimes I could throttle you) was not bandied about as it is now!!

    When I moved to London my first cong in South East London was horrible, run by spiteful Cypriot elders and their wives. Ignorant council house snobs I'd never met such people before.

    Of course the minute you don't attend weekly the invites disappear. They seem friendly when they see you, but they never make contact.

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