My kid who had been very close to his uncle who was a JW is now going through the same thing - the uncle was close to him then all of a sudden, as my son was not attending meetings, was very sarcastic and hurtful in his remarks and holier than thou even though it was found out later he was a cheater. Uncle left the truth, and my son experiences still hurtful remarks, now the uncle is dying and my son has so many mixed feelings of anger and hurt that he is afraid to visit as the uncle, rather than being apologetic, may want to leave my son with more hurt by more sarcastic remarks.
I feel sorry it is your father, but he abdicated his position years ago -- hugs to you, you have made a life for yourself and will have to decide for yourself what to expect when you do go. Will your mother let you in? Will your name be on the do not allow list? That will be painful. Only you can figure what to do
TL