I Turned in my letter of Disassociation on September 18, 2001 but it was 9/11 that showed me what the witnesses really feel about human lives and the future wished for.
I was in limbo after my wife of 27 years left me on July 30, 2001. She knew I wasn't buying the JW program anymore. She told me she come back to me when "I got my head straighten out about god and the church".
So for 40 days I was in Limbo. I stopped going to meetings. I didn't have the balls to leave her and the church and I didn't have the balls to march out into "The world" and the great unknown.
At that time both were very scary places.
Then the phone call came early in the morning on September 11th. It was my JW friend Mike, calling from Washington.
"Turn on your TV! Go turn it on right now." After turning on the set I saw the scenes we all have seen, people jumping out of buildings, people running down the street with blood running down their faces and terror in their eyes.
Mike is telling me "This is it! This is just the beginning, the end is at hand!"
It's crazy there was almost a happiness in his voice.
At that moment I realized, that Mike and me for many years, plus all of the other Witnesses were waiting for the end to come. They were waiting for millions of people to die (not just the 3000 on 9/11) so they could be happy and finally have peace.
Yes, their salvation was at hand. God just needed to kill a few more million off.
I knew then that this blood thirst Jehovah was no longer the god I wanted "serve."
I had my first clue about him when I was only 9 years old, way back in 1958. There was a picture of Armageddon in the new book "Paradise lost to paradise regained." In the picture there was a little girl holding on to her doll as she and her dog were falling into this great abyss, sent there by you know who.
Yep, on the that day 15 years ago I was finally done with Jehovah the pissed off and angry god. So, for me 9/11 saved my life!