Against our wishes she got baptised at 16 because she got brainwashed by her cousin. The last year or so she hasn't been so gung ho about the "truth". Anyway the elders came down on her for not getting her time in the last couple months because she absolutely hates zoom letter writing. She is on medication for minor depression and anxiety. And she was just starting to feel good about herself until this happened. The Elduh's told her she need a 5 year plan to pioneer, learn a foreign language and or serve where the need is great. They didn't care that her parents faded away or she has medical issues. They are more concerned about numbers than the actual person! #"best life ever!"
So the elders gave my 19 year old daughter a shepharding call depression ensues!
by nowwhat? 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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truth_b_known
NowWhat? -
It breaks my heart to hear your story, but I thank you for sharing it with us. Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses while suffering from things such as depression or anxiety is a recipe for disaster. Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses means being subjected to endless guilt and being made to compare yourself to others, which is ethically and morally wrong.
There is a video I wish I could find that you might share with you daughter. Here is the basic message -
1. You are not what you possess. The things you own or obtain have no bearing on your self worth.
2. You are not your achievements. College degrees, titles, certificates, professional licenses, etc are not you and have no bearing on your value.
3. You are not what others think of you. Regardless of what others think of you has no bearing on your self worth. You cannot ever truly know what others think of us. We actually tend to believe we are what we think others think we are, which is false. In the words of Lao Tzu, "What others think of me is none of my business."
Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses involves a form of torture in which you sacrifice until it hurts and then you are told by your leaders, "Well, that's nice and all, but can you sacrifice a little more?" At some point we must reply, "No! I cannot sacrifice anymore," to which you will be branded a heretic and shunned.
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stan livedeath
@Nowwhat...can i ask--does your daughter live with you at home ?
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nowwhat?
Yes she's at home and doing online college courses
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Fadeaway1962
It's spiritual abuse , using physiological manipulation and coercive control to insinuate that your daughter is not doing enough and that she should do more inspite of her anxiety and depression.
Take care
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Pete Zahut
As a JW one is made to feel as if they are responsible for the world and that Jehovah is watching and it's fate hangs in the balance depending upon what we do. Little children are told that the Angels and Satan are watching them and they have the power to "make Jehovah sad". That's a lot of pressure to place on a child or anyone.
Your daughter may need gentle reassurance that being conscientious and concerned for others is a good thing but it can cause depression and anxiety if it isn't kept in balance. She may need to be reminded that it doesn't help anyone if she lets her concerns or guilt overpower her well being.
We are all a bit narcissistic (especially when we're young) and on a subconscious level we tend to think that this is our world and that everyone else is just a part of it and noting of import happened before we came onto the scene. Like most young people, she probably thinks on some level that adults know best and she doesn't fully comprehend that what she sees happening around her has been going on long before she was born and that she isn't responsible for it. Her life isn't the "emergency" that JW's have made her think it is. She has been convinced that God cursed mankind and is going to turn around and kill us all because of it and that she is somehow responsible for keeping it from happening.
All the (long gone) JW's who came before her felt the same way. They spent their lives being guilted into knocking on doors and standing on street corners holding magazines, thinking it was something God wanted them to do when in actuality, they were following men and making money for them. The Bible speaks of the ministry as being the work of Jesus and his 12 apostles rather than the of his followers. There were no mention of magazines, or literature carts, or keeping track of their hours. Hopefully you'll be able to help her put things in perspective and she'll see a measure of improvement in terms of her anxiety and depression.
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Mr.Finkelstein
They are more concerned about numbers than the actual person!
Correct thats the WTS indirectly pushing their literature distribution to the greater public.
Hours and the accumulative counting of those hours is measure of the congregation's spiritual strength and to each individual member.
The Watchtower Corporation (WTS) devised its doctrines around the organization's literature proliferation.
When COs attend congregations they look at the publishing hours, placements as well bible studies, those counted items are taken as a measure of how spiritually strong the congregation is.
So from that it creates an understanding to why elders push individuals to go out in service,
Everything connects in one way or another in the JW religion. (Publishing Cult)
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pistolpete
One of my little brothers was also getting negative advice from the elders once he turned 15. Our parents were jws so all of us are born in the religion and we had to deal with all the WT crap. I never got baptized and left the house at 18. But my brother was feeling the pressure to get baptized, to reach out for pioneering, and Ministerial Servant. My parents thought they were doing my little brother a favor by letting the elders take him under their wing. Instead my brother started getting very depressed to the point that he was talking suicide. My parents let me know and I started taking my brother with me on Weekends.
I knew what my brother was going through because the elders did the same thing with me. So I took less than 10 minutes a week to google any article that dealt with people putting down other people and copy and paste about half a page of information and read it to my brother and give it to him and told him to just go over it for a week and we would talk about it the next weekend.
The purpose of the articles was to let my brother know that there are people in this world that tear people down and we need to stay away from them.
Every week I would give my brother a half of page of information dealing with this subject and what we could do about it.
In around six months my brother started avoiding all the elders. He made all kinds of excuses not to meet with them. He did the same with our parents. He learned how to deal with these types of people by just reading the small articles that I copy and pasted for him.
Today my little brother is finishing his degree in Civil Engineering and he never got baptized.
We have done the same with my other brothers and sisters, and so far none of them have gotten baptized.
Here is an example of copy and paste that I would give my brother. It took me less than 3 minutes to find and paste.
Why is it necessary to protect ourselves?
See, the tragedy is that if you’re told enough times that you’re not good enough sooner or later you’ll start to believe it, especially if the someone who’s telling you you’re not good enough is someone you care about or love.
People who bring you down do things that make progress more difficult or more painful. We are all trying to move forward in life and make progress. Happiness and success is what we all strive to achieve. Having someone tell us we are not good enough or that we can’t achieve anything makes our progress very difficult
You need to take control of your happiness. The only happiness you can count on is the kind you create with your own effort. This kind of happiness comes from the process of progress.
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LongHairGal
NOWWHAT?:
I’m sorry about your daughter and especially that she’s taking medication for anxiety. When I was her age that would have been undeard of. Just think..a religion that causes people to need medication? What’s wrong with this picture? My God. Get out.
TRUTH_B_KNOWN:
That is a very good philosophy and I read this years ago in a book. We ALL have worth and it is not tied to our possessions or occupation, etc.. But try telling that to some stuck up individuals with money. 🙄
However, the idea of anybody living their life enslaved to what others think or might think of them is absurd..In many cases, other people aren’t thinking of you at all, least of all the Witnesses.
I couldn’t care what they think or even if they had a brain to think with!
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Overrated
We all have been thru the WT,all they care about is numbers and finding new suckers.Your daughter just needs to slowly move out of Wt and live her own life. Screw Wt! She needs to find joy in her own life. Not by doing slave labor for a cult.