A Former Jehovah's Witness shares her me too story

by LisaRose 23 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • LisaRose


    When I was 23 years old, I started dating a (Jehovah’s) Witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs. There was a night in particular where I had too much to drink. Then the next thing I remember was waking up when I felt my hymen break. I just screamed because in that second I knew everything was over; it was done. I had had sex outside of marriage even though it wasn’t my fault and I was a woman, so any claim I made against him, it was going to be my fault. I was drunk.

  • steve2

    The account illustrates the vulnerability of women in these situations - especially when there is a strong element of abuse of trust and then "remorseful" pressure to forgive - and even marry the JW perpetrator!

  • waton

    Very sorry to read that, what happening to you. Get the message out: to have ladies avoid any such situations and their prior build up to them, Males will interpret any opennest to "fun" "partying" as a pathway to the climax. Evolution primed them for this, it worked and that is why we are here, the way we are. but know better. in sober moments.

  • LisaRose

    Clarification: It was not my experience, but part of the news article, I should have put it in quotes.

    It's just sad that a woman felt she had to marry a man who raped her, but she still got disfellowshipped for fornication when she confessed to the elders.

    Nobody should loose all their family and friends because they were young and stupid and had too much to drink.

  • GTSfromSY

    I...I don't know what to say. My mind is numb. My heart goes out to her and those like her. That perpetrator and the belief system/organization structure is at fault here.

    With child abuse saturating most of the abuse related conversation about the WT, we forget about the other abuse scandals: adult rape, especially spousal, is too damn common and unreported for the most part (sorry but abuses are my trigger) in that relig...no screw that, that cult!

  • jwundubbed
    In 2016, the Pew Research Institute produced demographic data, showing that Jehovah’s Witnesses make up less than one percent of the U.S. population. In California, two-thirds of them are women. The religious organization has a low retention rate relative to other U.S. religious groups, according to Pew. Sixty-six percent of adults raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses no longer identify with the group.

    I wish I had known these stats when I was in. Way different than the picture they present.

    Nobody should loose all their family and friends because they were young and stupid and had too much to drink.

    No they shouldn't. No one should lose their family and friends because a man raped them while they were drunk. It isn't sex if either of them are drunk because drunk people can't consent. From what she said it wasn't his first time doing that at all (he cried about having a problem when it happened the first time) and he continued to do it during their marriage.

    That whole situation just sucks.

  • Fred Franztone
    Fred Franztone
    'Drunk people can't consent' is a sweeping statement and a half. Don't use this to push your own puritanical agenda. Saying that all drunk sex is rape is a ridiculous assertion. I'd wager that for most couples, drunken sex will have accounted for many of their happiest times together.
  • Diogenesister

    Fred franztone Jwundubbed is not talking about merry drunk or even plastered drunk, but unconscious drunk!

    Stating women, in whatever state, should consent to sex is not an "agenda".

  • Fred Franztone
    Fred Franztone

    Jwundubbed simply said drunk, with no clarification. And don't strawman what I was saying, that's obviously not the agenda I meant, I mean the one that suggests for example that people need to start using silly apps to confirm their consent and stuff like that, because all 'drunk' sex is obviously rape unless proven otherwise.

  • LisaRose

    There is a big difference between a couple already in a sexual relationship getting a little tipsy and having sex and a woman who is passed out drunk and is then assaulted by a casual boyfiend, she was a virgin before this, so no way could it be presumed that she gave consent.

    If you don't see a difference between those two things then you are part of the problem.

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