I had not seen my Dad for 15 years because I had left the Borg. (I had been out 26 years but there was a few years when the JWs permitted contact with outsiders and then changed their minds again). They made contact with me again just before he was diagnosed with cancer. I was shocked at how old they had become which reminded me how long I had been out of their lives. I had moved 300 miles away as I had not family contact at the time of moving and didn't see the point in staying around.)
The day of the funeral arrived and I went to the Kingdom Hall and sat with my Uncle who is also disassociated. The JWs spoke to me, took them a while to recognize who I was even though many of them had grown up with me. The coffin was outside in the hearse as it would have been difficult to get it in the hall as the building is below ground level. I did not know the elder who lead the funeral service he spoke a little about my Dad doing an elaborate dive into the swimming pool before getting baptized instead of queuing quietly with the others which they had words with him about later lol. Other than that it was all the usual stuff they come out with. My mum chose her favorite song, not my Dads and the funeral seemed to be more about what she wanted.
The gathering after was held in a local pavilion. There was about 150 there. One of the men who I had known since childhood said that my Dad spoke about me all the time!! Another young woman who I did not know had the cheek to tell me how my Dad had walked her down the aisle and given her away at her wedding!! My Dad was not able to that at mine and her words really hurt, how inconsiderate!!
It seemed strange to have all the JWs I remembered speak to me in a way I wished they hadnt as I felt it made things worse. Anyway as soon as the funeral was over my Mum returned to no contact, as I called on her one day with my son and she wouldn't even let us in the house. Boy did I tell her a few home truths when that happened.
I know I will have to go through all this again when my Mum dies and will do so to support my sister as she is having a difficult time caring for her. She is inactive but my Mum has contact with her because she needs her. My brother is an elder and moved far away after my Dad died so he didn't have the responsibility which has been so unfair.
There just seems to be no consideration for others feelings in this organization even though they give the impression that there is. I honestly dont think any of them know how to. :-(