Our own personal growth and leaving

by Mr Lebowski 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • talesin


    Since I am not the sharpest crayon in the box

    Obviously, this is not true, as you have now left JW.


  • talesin
    I guess they had more influence over my every thought than i knew.

    Yes, they did. So stop blaming yourself. You have obviously overcome their mind control and it's time to forgive YOURSELF.



  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    What changed for you? Not the story, but the back-story - what went on for you inside?

    I started studying with the Witnesses when I was 9 years old because I thought the Methodist church was, boring, full of hypocrites and they didn't take my questions seriously.

    When I was a Witness, I believed all that nonsense. I talked the talk, walked the walk and communed with a God named Jehovah. I pioneered for 3 years because I believed that was what Jesus commanded, I even turned down a 4 year scholarship. Remember I said believed, I didn't say I was bright.

    I stopped going because I no longer believed. Didn't want to, but events (mainly the 2 witness rule for child abuse) made me realize this was not the place I belonged. I reasoned that the God I was taught about could not exist side by side with such an evil rule. So I left. I out argued all 9 elders and 2 COs who came to my house to get me to change my mind.

    When I was in, I witnessed to all the kids in school, and took a beating physically and mentally for the trouble. I did it because I believed what I was doing was right.

    When I left, I told every Witness I could why, and took a beating mentally and spiritually for the trouble. I lost almost every friend I ever made. I did it because I believed what I was doing was right.

    I'm the same, but different.

  • budha

    i am in neither of the two groups but i am struggling to leave after about just under two years in the truth. got into it because of a love.still love my girlfriend but i hate door to door and many other conflicting issues.my field service time for the last 5months has been averaging 1 hour. After i joined the org made sure not to make any close friendship with any of the bros & sisters. after the meetings i usually head home. Most of my friends are "worldly" people. spend much of my time at college studying and this does not go well with some bros. some were shocked when they heard that i am studying towards an MSc degree.its a long story but need your help to quit!!!!!!!

  • budha

    one thing that suprises me is Rutherford himself is a lawyer and yet does not was everybody to have college degree !!!!!

  • drwtsn32

    Hmm.. I definitely fall into category #1, but I'm a fan of Beavis & Butthead and secretly desire to be breakin the law, breakin' the law, breakin' the law.

  • talesin

    Good to hear you are approaching this with humour, Decki.

    And, yes, I am Canadian; east coast. Actually, I had some experience with Texans, worked with Boots and Coots with an oil rig fire. Would love to go to Texas although I have never had 'big hair' (ha, ha, it's a girl thing).


  • Prisca

    Excellent post.

    So, those of you in group number one...what need were you filling while you were in the Witness Protection Program? Inclusion, acceptance, praise for good performance? And what finally got you off of the crack pipe? What changed for you? Not the story, but the back-story - what went on for you inside?

    I thought I had "the Truth". I thought I was in the true religion. I thought God was on my side. I thought Armageddon was only a year or two away at the most.

    What changed for me was that alot of little things didn't add up. The lack of real love in the congregation. The emphasis on obedience to the Borg and less to God. How the Scriptures talked about heavenly hope for all that believed. Worldly people who seemed nicer and kinder than people in the Borg. Realisation that spirituality was not all about giving talks and placing literature.

    I eventually faded away to become a #1 group person. I walked away on intellectual and spiritual grounds.

  • smack

    I think I came from the same box of crayons as Decki.

    I was helped out by a very naughty girl. So I guess I'm a 1 and 2


  • Xena

    Damnnnnn that's a good question.

    Huh, I enjoyed the acceptance I got. The being a part of something. And if I wasn't validictorian or most popular or athletic I could just say it was because I was a dub.

    What got me out of that mentality? Whew you ask hard ones....I met someone who without even knowing what he had done made me feel special all on my own. I didn't need to hide behind a group of people anymore.

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