I went to the funeral of the disfellowshipped child

by freein89 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • freein89

    Thanks for the loving support, it was needed and appreciated. The funeral was this morning and I went. There was one JW family there-ONE. The rest were all non-JW's and family of the girl he had been dating. The parents were grateful for the attendance of all that were there. This was one of the few families that I had genuinely missed from my JW days. The service itself lasted less than 5 minutes, with a person I had never seen before reading a few scriptures and concluding with a prayer. The word Jehovah was never mentioned although God was. The man who conducted the service was awkward and scared to death. I rather doubt he was an elder or even a witness. The parents did have a stack of the "What Hope for Dead Loved Ones?" brochure available to pick up and I only saw one or two in the hands of the people there. The boy was euligized, something I had never seen at a witness funeral, by two friends who were not JW's and his younger brother who I think is about 18. It was the most tragic funeral I have ever seen.

    I was outraged at the lack of support by the JW's. What kind of "Witness" did these people give by not showing up? They showed their true colors by not showing up. I hugged both parents before I left, both said they have missed me and thought of me often. The father remarked that we had once been very close and that one day maybe we would be again. They are both obviously still in, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that they will reflect upon the unloving and uncaring attitude and actions of all their "friends".

    You-the people of this forum are an example of love and care, any who are JW's would be well served to follow your loving example and spirit. It is certainly not over dramatizing to comment about the cold and callous attitude of Jehovah's Witnesses, it is all too true.


  • SheilaM

    How horribly sad it makes me wonder how they can live with themselves

  • Joyzabel

    I'm proud you went, Deb.

    As I was reading your experience, it struck me that as JWs we were so worried about giving a "good witness" but yet we never stood back and saw how horrible our actions were to others.

    The lack of unconditional love that is obvious to anyone who thinks sure helps people who are anyway connected to JWs to NEVER become one.


  • cruzanheart

    I'm so glad you went, Deb. You find out who your true friends are at times like that, and I know that family will remember that you cared enough to come.



  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Bless you for going.

    For a group that prides themselves on love - yes they show their true colors and hopefully the parents will soon be free

    callous - too good a word for this kind of cruelty

  • avishai
    What kind of "Witness" did these people give by not showing up?

    Yet, ironically, they will go to funerals of people they don't even know to witness. Sick bastards

  • talesin

    You showed them true sistership, something they don't get day-to-day. This is so sad. I'm happy you were there for them, it must have meant a lot.

    Have a hug on me.


  • happyout

    You are so wonderful for going, Deb! How sad that these ignorant people don't realize a funeral is for the LIVING! That by not attending, they are turning their backs on their alleged brothers and sisters. How horrible that even in the midst of the pain of losing their loved one, the family has to be reminded that their "loving spiritual family" can't forget their bias and discrimination long enough to give them a hug.

    You're wonderful, Deb.


  • Francois

    It is sad that the JWs have come to this sorry pass, that they spend most of their time dreaming up knit-picking scenarios which may be used to justify disfellowshipping some one or other of their membership for violation of said scenario. But this is obviously what being a JW has come, ultimately, to mean. I is very reminiscent of Germany under Hitler, and Cuba under Castro; report on your neighbor, report on your friends, report on your family and soon they mysteriously disappear in the middle of the night. And this is how they show they have love among themselves.

    It makes me want to hang my head in shame that anyone I know, that anyone I used to love, that anyone I'm related to, is a member of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    "It is certainly not over dramatizing to comment about the cold and callous attitude of Jehovah's Witnesses, it is all too true," said one of my online friends about this sad, sad story. I wish it were just an attitude. As noted above, it has grown into more than an attitude. It's now a way of life for JWs. What is so true about it is that years ago we were warned that we were on our way to a place like this. "Keep going in the direction you're headed," said this person, "and you'll certainly get there."

    Well, we're here.

    Frank Tyrrell

  • caligirl

    It is wonderful that you went.

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