I need your opinions and recommendations please.

by bola 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • JWdaughter

    Plenty of churches don't have "requirements", but that can not be said of all of them. Some are more "organized" than others. If you are a believer, a nice neighborhood church, calvary (maybe) or even baptist (various kinds) are great for community and social interaction. Find one that feels comfortable and don't feel the need to "join". In fact, if they are comfortable with you just attending and participating, that's a good sign. I went to a So. Baptist church that didn't keep track of members or non members. They screened any volunteers, but didn't require "membership" to do anything. I also attended an orthodox church which had a great social hour after church, women's groups, study groups, etc. It was small but active within its walls and out in the community with projects and stuff.

    Watch out for the mega churches or tiny churches that are very pastor focused (thats how the WT started). If the majority of their advertising is about their pastor or pastes his face on everything, run.

    Episcopalians are nice enough, but some are definitely more into building a community than others are.

    Find a church that is useful in its community, not just a place to show up for 45 min on sunday. Some may send out the youth group to invite people to the harvest party or christmas services, but the churches that encourage people to show their faith rather than telling everyone about it are kind of the ones I liked best. they have food banks or a regular rotation of folks who work at one, they have donation boxes for goods in the foyer, they have community notices and allow AA meetings and have support groups or social groups organized. NOT counting hours spent propagandizing.

  • notalone

    Dear bola, as a mulit-gen born in the idea of attending a church was like someone just handed me a bowl of poison and said, "take a bite." The first thing I did was to systematically undo doctrinal lies. I tend to be of the mindset lairs lie. If you catch someone in one lie there are probably more. The lies of the organization are complete. So I decided not to hold onto those lies and let them continue to control my life. So test things out. Try little local congregations that don't care if you believe or do everything they say. Try to find those who by their works show they want to be kind to those in their community. I liked the Unitarians, but I also like a very small Methodist church with a kind- hearted older pastor. I really am not interested in anything that is fire-and -brimstone or overly regimented, but that's just me. See what feels good but be careful about joining. Side point I just found out about something called Maundy Thursday.I think that's what they called it. It's a commemoration of the last supper. I think I'll give it a try this year.

  • Vanderhoven7

    Try visiting a few churches in your area on Sunday mornings. You will quickly get a feel for the level of cotrol that exists. You may be pleasantly surprised by the love you sense and depth of messages that you hear.

    If you find one church that seems to meet your and your family's need go ahead and make an appointment with the Pastor and share your background and concerns.

    There are many great churches out there that do not attempt to control.

  • waton

    bola, why, or to what purpose do you want to join a church or religion?

  • David_Jay

    I'm a religious person, but I have to agree with those who say don't go down the path of jumping into another religion now, at least not yet.

    If you ever make that decision to do so after leaving the Witnesses it should never be something that takes away your freedom of thought, your use of critical thinking and logic. It should be something that adds to your personal fulfillment, not get in the way.

    But till then you need to heal from being in a cult. This means un-learning to think, reason, and accept everything you learned as a JW. This is not easy. One of the things you must accept is that having been a member of a cult, whether converted or born into it, you don't have a good record when it comes to choosing a religion wisely (none of us who were JWs can claim to shine in that area). So kind of hold off till you learn that you can avoid traps.

    Religion may not even be for you. Take some time to just breathe. Armageddon isn't coming. You don't need to be saved because you're a sinner. You don't have to believe in God. It's okay to just be you.

    If you do think religion might be for you, learn it critically. Study only with persons and groups that admit they are not perfect, that admit that they are not the only source of truth, that is egalitarian. Maybe you just need a spiritual practice or discipline like Buddhism. Or maybe you just need to follow your own heart and spirit.

    If a more traditional religion does become your choice, try investigating those hated most by the Witnesses or the ones they said cannot be right. You don't have to join them, but it will help erase a lot of Watchtower thinking if you see the mainstream religions on their own terms, as they are, without a filter.

    In the end, whatever you choose, let it be your choice. Choose a path that will be fine with you if you decide to change again or even completely abandon it without penalty. May it be something that contributes to your personal freedom, not take that away. And my it be a healing step in your life.

  • Saethydd

    I'm an agnostic at the moment, and don't see much worth in pursuing religion personally.

    Perhaps you could examine Buddhist beliefs though if you seek serenity and spirituality.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen
    Religion may not even be for you. Take some time to just breathe. Armageddon isn't coming. You don't need to be saved because you're a sinner. You don't have to believe in God. It's okay to just be you.

    I am an atheist and I approve of this message ;-)

    Seriously though, David_Jay you never cease to amaze me with your well thought out answers, balanced viewpoints and in-depth knowledge. If only all humans would display the tolerance you spread here...

    It's even more amazing considering the shallow, judgmental and black-and-white fire-and-brimstone type of thinking our former cult bestowed upon us.

    How did you manage to shed all the narrow thinking? Were you always as wise as I perceive you to be?

    Anyways glad to have you (back) on board...

    More on-topic: if I were ever to seek out an other religion, it would probably some godless (as in without deity), non-controlling, do-good-to-everbody type of thing. Maybe Buddhism? Or Atheistic or Rationalistic Satanism (not devil worship!)? Or maybe even Unitarian Universialism? But for now I'm just fine without any god, religious creed, church or whatever. If I ever need the company of such a group, I'll contact the Sunday Assembly in my area

  • David_Jay

    Thanks, Anders.

    I was kinda like this as a Witness, but was afraid to be this way fully till I left.

    And while I must give some credit to what I learned from returning to Judaism, I have to say it has played more the part of a catalyst to be more myself than anything else.

    Jews have become more egalitarian for the most part, but we're definitely not all there yet (the current conservative ruling party in Israel is a good example of Jews who can be as unfair and judgemental as the JWs).

    But you can imagine how I didn't fit in as a JW as a lot of this never quite went away from me even in the deep, dark recesses of the Watchtower. (I feel I should add some maniacal laughter, like, "boo-ha-ha" after using the term "deep, dark recesses," like it's a requirement whenever those words are used together in a sentence.)

  • bola
    I thank you all that replied to my post.
  • dogisgod

    Look into Unitarian/Universalists.

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