Somebody please tell me, funeral for a disfellowshipped child

by freein89 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • freein89
    freein89

    I looked at our little local paper today and saw a young man had died. He was the 20 year old son of JW's that used to be very dear friends. I noticed that the funeral is to be held at the local funeral home and not at the Kingdom Hall. The visitation was beginning just as I was reading the paper. I had not seen these people since '89 when I DA'd. They were such dear friends, he was and may still be an elder, their kids and mine played together. I mustered up my courage and went to the visitation, just got back. I saw two JW couples there and a few JW young people, but mostly non-JW's. I asked some of the obviously non-JW young people there and was told that he had been disfellowshipped. Here is my question, will a JW preside at the funeral tomorrow. Are they allowed, I have been out so long and I just don't know anymore. Is it up to the individual or is it forbidden to preside at the funeral? Please let me know. The father of the boy whom I had not seen these many years sobbed in my arms at the visitation. Where are all their friends? What will happen. What is the borg's stand on this?

    Deb

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism
    km 3/97 7

    What

    if the deceased was disfellowshipped? The congregation would generally not be involved. The Kingdom Hall would not be used. If the person had been giving evidence of repentance and manifesting a desire to be reinstated, a brother’s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside, to give a witness to unbelievers and to comfort the relatives. Before making this decision, however, it would be wise for the brother to consult with the body of elders and give consideration to what they may recommend.
  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Deb, I'm sorry to tell you that when I left, the Jdubs shunned 'em dead or alive....and I'm sure it hasn't changed to this day, cherie....doesn't make sense, does it? Especially since they also "claim" that a person's sins are paid when dead....also that Christ paid for our sins...but that opens yet another can of worms....I'm so sorry to hear the loss of your friend, (((Deb)))

    Frannie B

  • shamus
    shamus

    What a horrible situation and a horrible thing to happen. The worst is, Deb, your worst thoughts are true. They shun them dead or alive. They will, in most probability, not be there to comfort his family or give any bible talk. The poor boy who was sobbing will not be consoled by their "loving" brotherhood.

    I am so sorry Deb. I am sorry that you have to experience the horrible hatred of this mind control cult. I always thought what if, and the results... now the unspeakable has come true.

    They are disgusting in their own filth. They have no natural affection for each other. Yet one more reason why you can be confident that God looks on this situation and even his heart would ache.

  • happyout
    happyout

    Deb,

    I'm so sorry, what a sad situation. It's horrible that a religion would go out of its way to villify the dead, especially to impose upon the conscience of one who might want to speak at their funeral. To suggest that someone should have to consult their elders is ridiculous and controlling to the nth degree.

    You showed true love and compassion in going to the visitation, and I'm sure it brough comfort to those who saw you.

    Take care,

    Happyout

  • blondie
    blondie

    I always wondered about this. Saul died outside God's favor and had committed suicide yet he was given an honorable burial.

    2

    Samuel 21:12-14

    12

    So David went and took the bones of Saul and the bones of Jon´a·than his son from the landowners of Ja´besh-gil´e·ad, who had stolen them from the public square of Beth-shan, where the Phi·lis´tines had hanged them on the day that the Phi·lis´tines struck down Saul on Gil·bo´a. 13 And he proceeded to bring up from there the bones of Saul and the bones of Jon´a·than his son; furthermore, they gathered the bones of the men being exposed. 14 Then they buried the bones of Saul and of Jon´a·than his son in the land of Benjamin in Ze´la in the burial place of Kish his father, that they might do everything that the king had commanded. So God let himself be entreated for the land after this.

    Insight Book Volume 1

    p. 377 Burial, Burial Places

    The act of burying another’s body was viewed as an expression of loving-kindness, and the men of Jabesh-gilead risked their lives to effect such a burial for Saul and his sons. (1Sa 31:11-13; 2Sa 2:4-6)

    Blondie

  • teejay
    teejay

    >>>> a brother’s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside, to give a witness to unbelievers and to comfort the relatives. Before making this decision, however, it would be wise for the brother to consult with the body of elders and give consideration to what they may recommend.

    Forget about what the inner voice says. Forget about how the (supposedly) powerful holy spirit might lead. Don't bother considering what might be the humane thing to do.

    Just ask a couple of imperfect humans who are no more enlightened than you and just do what they say. Don't-cha just love it? :(

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    a brother’s conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside, to give a witness to unbelievers and to comfort the relatives.

    Yes....first and foremost is the opportunity to hijack the ceremony of the deceased and use it as a commercial for the WT God in "giving a witness". Everything else, even giving comfort to the bereaved comes secondary.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    Don't bother considering what might be the humane thing to do.

    well said !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Yep, shunned in life, shunned in death - and all in the name of God!

    Deb, I'm truly sorry for you and your friends and the best thing they could do, when they have recovered from their horrendous ordeal, is to visit here. Jehovah is supposed to be able to read hearts - so why couldn't the Borg conduct a decent funeral and "leave it with Jehovah"? The importance of a funeral is to help the grieving friends and relatives - where's the Christian love being shown here!

    I tell you, I know the Borg steeps low but this has gone way down beyond the gutter.

    Dansk

    Edited to add: Deb, if you can, muster up as many apostates as you can and all go down and attend the funeral. The parents will then realise where true love lies!

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