Some of you seem to live in another world when it comes to treatment of DF and DA friends and family. It makes me wonder if some are being a little over-dramatical.
Black Sheep, I'm glad you've had a more benevolent experience than a lot of us on the forum, but I assure you that we are NOT being over-dramatic. When my father committed suicide this past February, I didn't even bother asking the elders about using the Hall. I did ask an elder friend of ours to speak at the service, which we had at Dad's retirement home where all his TRUE friends were, and he ended up backing out because he didn't like how we were doing the service: we told him NO OUTLINE TALK because we didn't want an infomercial, which freaked him out; we asked anyone at the retirement home who wanted to speak to do so, and the elder said that smacked of an "interfaith service" and he couldn't take part in that; and, horror of horrors, we had someone sing "Amazing Grace." A few Witnesses showed up, and about half of them left when they found out about "Amazing Grace." One person brought a load of "What Happens When We Die" brochures to pass out to the crowd, but I was able to intercept that and place them in the trash, where they belonged. We did have a friend who was a Witness (but not an elder) speak at the service, to tell about Dad and his hope, because that was very important in his life. The evil worldly people who spoke just told stories about Dad and how nice he was, and what a good friend he was. My husband and I got up and spoke (yep, a woman teaching!). It was a beautiful service, celebrating a person's life and mourning his absence.
My father was not disfellowshipped when he died -- he was reinstated for almost a year but just couldn't take the rejection anymore. And that's just the facts, not an over-dramatization.