“Even if this wasn’t the Truth, I need the structure.”

by Londo111 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • flipper

    LONDO- Excellent thread ! Bingo, you nailed it. Many of us have the ability to be decent, moral, good human beings without an organization or sky daddy telling us to do so. I've always felt that the " inherited sin from Adam " thing and - " we are such sinners we need direction " thing is a bunch of crap. I think babies are born beautiful and perfect- it's not until they start getting influenced by prejudiced adults around them with skewed views of life and skewed prejudices of others that young people start going astray. And this includes children getting skewed views from their parents religious beliefs as well.

    If a JW would just sit and listen to themselves make this statement in your opening thread, how absurd it sounds, " Even if this wasn't the Truth, I need the Structure ". Great. Then a person is going to live their life on untruths until they die ? And even worse base their lives on " structured untruths " ? Then they get REALLY stuck because it's TOO structured where they can't think for themselves or think critically if these " structured untruths " don't work out very well. It's a dark rabbit hole that many JW's never recover from. Luckily Londo- you HAVE recovered like lots of us here ! A toast to freedom of mind. It's too valuable to ever lose again for any of us ! Peace out, mr. Flipper

  • Londo111

    I feel for you Doubtfully Yours. When my girlfriend read your comments, she said, "I want to hug this woman."

    BTW...I hope none of my OP sounded like bragging. Life has its ups and downs. I've lots of room for improvement. Like a game of mini-golf, I'm only measuring myself relative to where I was previously, rather than against anyone else's life.

  • Londo111

    I'd a good friend say to me, "If I wasn't in the 'truth', I'd take LSD and other drugs." I'm not sure my exact reply, but it was likely to the effect of, "Why would you want to risk damaging your mind and health?"

    Other JWs have similar sentiments, "If I wasn't a JW, I would do X, Y, and Z."

    It is definitely part an implanted phobia. As Steven Hassan says on his website:

    Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority
    a. No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group
    b. Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.

  • Vidiot
    It's quite the paradigm shift when an exiting JW realizes that decency, maturity, and self-discipline are perfectly possible (and, IMO, probably easier to attain) without the Org.
  • Ucantnome

    if Jehovah’s Witnesses were not the only true religion, the regimented routine of meetings and field service and the strict rules and enforcement provided a beneficial structure for his life.

    i would feel that if I had this belief I was already an atheist.

  • startingover

    Great thread Londo! I too had a friend tell me something real close to that. At the time I was not prepared to answer but knew I did not feel that way. Now I would say something about implanted phobias etc. The scripture in 1 Cor 15 (thanks AboveUsOnlySky) would be used too.

    I personally have never been happier than to be out from under the JW type of control, and I cannot imagine ever living like that again.

  • Alive!

    "Even if this isn't the truth, it's the the best way to live' - I heard said many times - I didn't realise it was a version of a global slogan amongst JWs.

    Personally, we struggled when we finally said 'that's it, this isn't the only true religion', it felt like our emotional and personal world was subject to a massive earthquake.

    BUT, whilst our tidy and very well presented little world has undergone a massive upheaval, we have and are emerging with more insight, more love for each other....we have both taken our own time to travel along our own spiritual journey - our lives have changed beyond recognition, unsupported and not propped up by a highly regimented structure and a human network.

    Its been tough.

    Tough love - and I'm grateful.

    I can't sit with those and identify with those who decide who 'Jehovah' favours and who he doesn't based on non scriptural edicts. To me, that doesn't feel right any more.

  • Lieu

    I'm with rebel8, guy should have joined the military if he wanted "structure".

    Of course, after a certain amount of training and time the military expects you to be able to function on your own, progress in making improvised decisions, and ultimately lead others. That could be a small problem for someone refusing to think for himself.

  • GrreatTeacher

    It's true; some people need more structure than others. You see that in the classroom from a really young age.

    You also expect progress on that front, too. For example, independent use of checklists or daily organizers is the goal, though, in the meantime, it might require daily signatures from parents and teachers. By middle school, only selected students should still need this kind of help.

    If you're an adult and still haven't learned how to provide structure to yourself, you might join a highly structured cult...or you may decide to join thd military...or you may just decide to get a 9-5 job.

    One of the privileges of adulthood is you get to choose. But, know yourself, first. Know what you are good at and know what you still need help with.

    But, choose a positive option.

    "I'm in a cult cause I need structure," doesn't cut it.

  • xjwsrock

    Amen Grreatteacher...

    If you need structure that bad, here's an idea: Grow as a person and develop a stronger more disciplined personality to the point you no longer "need" that king of nanny-level structure. In the meantime get some coaching or counseling, get a personal trainer, commit to volunteering a couple times a month. Join a club or professional organization - even make yourself available to be a leader or organizer in that group.

    There are many things a person can do to seek structure and self-improvement. That is, if they aren't giving all their time away to a cult-y religious movement

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