“Even if this wasn’t the Truth, I need the structure.”

by Londo111 35 Replies latest jw experiences


    He has not searched for or tried to truly discover what life ought to be about !

    I ....."think" that after 50 years in the cult and now out I am starting to truly find the meaning of life myself ...Its a Nice journey now !

     FayeDunaway = ditto ...In a post-cult chat with my children they told me in graphic detail about the father and elder I was and what life was like under me and my beloved at that time - It was horrifying to listen to that ! I wept openly.

  • steve2

    People who need someone telling them what to do, what to think and how to behave are pathetic weaklings better suited for the ash heap of our species ' DNA history.

    DJS - well said. I wished I had said it first!

    The only caveat I would add is that (some) people can and do change.

    When I was a young JW, others in the congregation called me "weak" and "pathetic" and I unthinkingly absorbed their judgemental labels.

    It was only in my thirties that I seriously questioned those labels and realized I had been largely conditioned to look to others for answers and constant direction. Once I kicked those labels out and started changing my behaviour I "felt" different and realized I am capable of taking responsibility for my life and its direction - and there has been no holding me back.

    It would have been such a waste of my life had I not been encouraged/expected to question those judgemental labels and change my behaviour.

    All power to the ability of people to change if they make up their minds to do so!

  • Half banana
    Half banana
    I find the more I leave Jehovah’s Witnesses behind, the better my life

    Thank you Londo for such a good reference for leaving the JW delusion.

    On the other hand there are those who by nature or by being born into a repressive religion are either taught to be dependent or who inherently have a need for external control due to their insecurity or anti-social tendencies.

    As a JW I noticed unsettling examples of  how the Watchtower with its strict boundaries served as a behaviour regulator for individuals with serious problems.

    One example was one local JW who told me he would be an armed robber if he didn't have the religion. Even more disturbing, by being privy to data on prisoners in the UK there were serious sex offenders who were JWs, for whom the threats of Armageddon did not do its trick. Note how the  notorious 'Yorkshire Ripper' (who will never leave prison) has adopted the Watchtower regime.

    The lesson surely is to become self reliant with adult reasoning based on a factual understanding of our world?

    This involves good education...not threats of punishment for moral infringements.

  • KateWild

    Thanks Londo for this thread. I like structure and routine in my life. Since leaving WT I haven't had as much and feel a little lost and insecure.

    I often think about going back just for the daily routine and structure.......but then my internal sense of justice kicks in and my integrity.

    I can't possibly be a part of something so corrupt and cruel to the vulnerable. Besides I would have to go through reinstatement which is unloving and uncaring.

    But I do understand this MS perspective and his need for routine and structure.

    Kate xx

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Awesome, Londo!!!! I am so happy for you! From 310 to 190?!!! Wow! A girlfriend? Marriage? happy? ;-) That is great!

    I think that, perhaps, for some people (not me) the WT creates "structure"... (They certainly provide a hamster wheel) Why can't something else create structure? Join a club, a gym, a 'cause', school? college? a "help other people" thing.....

    Being around people is great, having friends is great, I loved that. Now that I have (haha) 'faded'......... zero.... WT has done a good job training everyone to shun. I do not want to get 'structure' from 'blackmailers'.

    I enjoy the freedom to go and please as I want.

    cha ching!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Londo 111,

    My most sincere congratulations. I can only daydream of the progress you've made in leaving behind this rat race of a religious Org. You do not know how heavy it wears on my subconscious to be faking something I do not feel just for the sake of keeping a good marriage, immediate family and all my life-long friends.

    In the Autumn of my life it's creating depression and these feelings of worthlessness and wishing death upon myself because many a times I just can't take the double life anymore. Today is definitely one of those days, which have become more common lately.

    I envy you. May you continue to be well and happy.


  • cha ching
    cha ching

    So sorry, Doubtfully Yours..... Perhaps someday the WT empire will fall.... your life will return, hang in there.

    Well wishes, cha ching!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    I have simply accepted that my death will come 1st rather than my liberation.

    What makes it even worse is that my family is so JW hardcore that I'm dragged in to take part in assemblies, traveling around, Warwick crap.

    In my old age, I'm hanging on to sanity by a thin thread. I fantasize with one evening telling hubby that I just want a different life without the Organization and just dealing with whatever comes afterwards.

    It's just a fantasy as I'm too old to start all over. What's coming next for me is illness/death, and to be alone without help for those events is not acceptable.



    “Even if this wasn’t the Truth, I need the structure.”


    “Even if this wasn’t the Truth, I need an excuse not to take responsibility for my life.”


    ......................................Image result for I need an excuse not to take responsibility for my life.”

  • sparky1

    Lots of people need and crave structure, but that doesn't make your personal choice of systematic structure either correct or desirable.

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