Too many red flags.....I agree with the advice to find out what wife #2 situation is really about. And if he is cavorting with you he is not living up to the jw standards.....but no matter what religion involvement, you do yourself a favor by taking off the rose colored glasses and getting a good objective view about what he is all about.
Help him? There are millions of men in this world, run from this particular one.
And please don't say RUN. I tried already and it just didn't work.
Well, that's my suggestion out the window then.
How about stepping to one side and considering what you would tell a friend if they were in your position?
If at first you don't succeed......
.........failure might be your style - Quentin Crisp
Tell him the JWS is a religious cult based upon lies , ignorance and corruption and he shouldn't feel emotionally dispositioned for leaving it or being separated from it.
It is so corrupt in its doctrines its called apostate Christianity run by Satan.
To support that statement tell him to keep on reading web sites like this one or JWfacts.com
Hobbittz, mark this day on your calendar as the day you ruined your life.
The GOOD THING about this is that _I_ will beable to drive past the trainwreck you will soon find entangling you and _I_ will be able to think, "WOW! I'm glad that isn't me!"
So YOU GO GIRL!
[/Troll detector: OFF/]
A very simple answer to a very difficult question.
I think Erhart Tolle said it perfectly. There is only 3 ways most people handle any situation
!. They complain about it, this is what most people do.
2. Accept the situation completely knowing that things will probably not change.
3. Reject it completely.
Of course all three choices has it's problems.
Thus the saying, "a leopard never changes its spots" -- or character but some have with the right counseling/direction.
Sounds like you are both F*cked Up and you are indeed a great match for one another.
But don't come here trying to get help "fixing" things when the reality is if we "fixed" you, you'd leave him and he'd leave you. If he gets fixed, he'll leave you faster than the blink of an eye.
I thinketh you love drama in your boring life.
hobbitz--are you male or female ?
Perhaps you should focus more on your own self-esteem. What is it, exactly, in this person that appeals to you? Do you feel that you could never have a healthy relationship with someone else if you were to drop this person and start dating?
This appears to be a doomed relationship. Work on what you can change, which is yourself, and not on what you want the other person to change.
I feel really bad for you and your situation. I hope a healthy self-esteem will lead you to happiness.