Walked away from bible study after 8 months

by Biblestudent1 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Biblestudent1

    I have been working through the grey book with a married couple for several months. Actually after a while what happened was a different brother or sister got invited each week to my study. I met lots and lots

    I think they consider me hard work as I ask many questions. “You mean my Catholic family will be swept away in Armageddon and that’s a good thing?!?! “ and they were so blasé and thinking all will be positive. It took 3 weeks for me to get through that chapter. Yeah I’m hard work. I got sent to a different elder for one session and he was a better explainer than my bible study conductor. More experience I guess

    What I liked:

    - Once I asked my conductor let’s do a session with only the Bible and put aside the grey book. He worked hard with a lot of handwritten notes and I liked that session. He did put a lot of preparation into that to be fair.

    - The standard of public speaking is pretty excellent and better than many Catholic priests with decades of experience. The men do learn a valuable skill

    - some of the talks from visiting brothers were excellent

    - there is laughter in some meetings and not in a cruel way. Just some funny mistakes, usually the sisters doing ministry demonstrations and unintentionally insult the householder haha

    - The chat with others. Once I helped clean the hall before memorial. I sweated like mad but it was good fun and much laughter and we had fun and someone made a video montage of the photos

    - some people with comments are highly original and interesting. I can count these people on one hand

    - I visited another hall on holidays and was made feel welcome and one brother went out of way to help me get to the bus station. Very welcoming

    What I dislike

    - mind numbing watchtower study. A question is asked and someone reads the text back. I could have stayed home.....

    - The realization that cliques exist. Despite me being pretty chatty some people ignore me in the hall and walk past me on the street. I did nothing wrong but they have their own friends and they wouldn’t give me the time of day. Most people are lovely but Im not in all the cliques

    - what started as encouragement to attend became suffocating pressure. I work full time and can be shattered on Friday evenings and still must attend or I feel I let people down

    - the elders have more plans for my future than I do. “Wait until you help with microphones and give talks!!” There is a shortage of men in the congregation and the elders often do microphones, I guess they want new blood. I’m happy to clean the hall and help out but I don’t want responsibility. I’d be happy with cleaning, I’ve no goals to be a leader

    - I made the mistake of saying I didn’t enjoy fully every meeting and was informed it was my responsibility to associate more before and after and also prepare and read more in advance.Sorry

    - awwwwing when a 5 year old comments. Does that child even understand what they are saying?

    My main issue was the suffocating pressure to attend meetings. I was exhausted after work and sitting on the train home waiting to depart. I felt I was wrong or weak or something and got off the train and went to the meeting. I deal with pressure in my finance job but this different as if I’m under control. I was suffocating under it.

    A book “ who is doing Jehovah will “ states in some countries people walk through jungles to attend meetings and I was told in a high handed way we have no jungles here do we?? My cheeky comment saying traffic in this city is a jungle didn’t impress I didn’t feel helped, I felt worthless and guilty

    Last night I told my bible study conductor I want to take a break for a few months. Was asked if all ok and immediate concern but I just repeated and “don’t call me, I’ll call you” but said in a nice way, not sharp like that. I am unfailingly polite. I signed up to bible study and I enjoyed it. It’s all I wanted

    sorry for long post, just thought I’d share

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Thanks for sharing that. I wish more of the contacts my parents made had had your nounce.

  • smiddy3

    No need to apologise Biblestudent1 ,most of us have all been there

    1, mind numbing watchtower study. ( Yes )

    2.The realization that cliques exist. ( Yes )

    3.My main issue was the suffocating pressure to attend meetings. ( most definitely)

    As has been pointed out many times before ,beware of the FOG.

    Fear ,Obligation and Guilt ,that the JW`s employ to get you to do more for the organization , whatever you do is not good enough surely you can do more.

    Jesus Christ only witnessed for three years .? What a slacko he was .

    Stick around my friend and I guarantee you will learn more about Jehovah`s witnesses than you would ever find out at a kingdom hall or by a JW mentor.

    And thank you for your post you came to the right place to present it .

    I look forward to how you are progressing in your journey of finding TTATT

  • slimboyfat

    I can’t help but wonder, sorry, what would possess any functioning adult (that you seem to be), with no prior JW connection, to begin a Bible Study and attending the Kingdom Hall? I can think of hardly any examples of this happening. The only one that springs to mind got baptised when he was about 30 and stopped coming after a couple of years, people said because he has depression, but probably he just got bored. He still comes to the memorial, but that’s about it. The only attraction for a young man with no previous JW connection, I can think, would be to meet a nice sister and settle down. But it’s going to be a bit more difficult for a convert to find someone, I imagine, because there will be some level of suspicion about motives, because genuine conversions to JWs are so rare these days. Probably not a good idea unless you are committed to staying a JW despite all the drawbacks. I guess JWs may appeal to some homosexuals too who have decided to remain celibate and like JW community. I think that happened in the past, but is much less likely these days because society now accepts gay people and there’s no need for them to settle for a community that demands they don’t express their sexuality.

  • alanv

    It was good that the poster listed the good and bad points about being a witness. Certainly there are some good things about the religion, its just that they are nothing compared to the bad things.

  • slimboyfat

    It’s a bit depressing to realise that a highlight of JW life is that they can crack a joke from the platform ocassionally, or when they make a mistake in a demonstration. True enough it can lighten up the meetings sometimes, but we are scraping the bottom on the barrel here.

  • ToesUp

    "There is a shortage of men in the congregation"

    You just gotta ask yourself why there is a shortage of men. lol

    Glad you escaped. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Enjoy your life!!!

  • Biahi

    It appears that you’ve already figured out this is not just another church, but a High Control Group, or Cult. Stay on this forum, you will see. Welcome!

  • Theonlyoneleft


    you are one of the lucky ones that is escaping this religion that would make you a prisoner for ever.

    Even after leaving if we have family and friends we are still prisoners of it.

    Jehovah witnesses don’t just ask a little input of yourself... they ask the “whole” of you. It’s like a hungry beast that you need to keep feeding consistently.

    So congrats for your decision!!🤗

    When buying a house I’m sure you would do your research, when buying a car too, or even when visiting a new restaurant.... so why not a religion that is going to change your life for ever???!!

    When you have a little time look at old posts ...... so many here have had experiences of the cult that will help you to understand what JWs are all about.

    And Good luck. (Oops jws can’t say good luck either)

    So many rules.... so little time. 🙂

  • nowwhat?

    I take it you never heard of the child sex abuse coverup in the organization?

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