I have been working through the grey book with a married couple for several months. Actually after a while what happened was a different brother or sister got invited each week to my study. I met lots and lots
I think they consider me hard work as I ask many questions. “You mean my Catholic family will be swept away in Armageddon and that’s a good thing?!?! “ and they were so blasé and thinking all will be positive. It took 3 weeks for me to get through that chapter. Yeah I’m hard work. I got sent to a different elder for one session and he was a better explainer than my bible study conductor. More experience I guess
What I liked:
- Once I asked my conductor let’s do a session with only the Bible and put aside the grey book. He worked hard with a lot of handwritten notes and I liked that session. He did put a lot of preparation into that to be fair.
- The standard of public speaking is pretty excellent and better than many Catholic priests with decades of experience. The men do learn a valuable skill
- some of the talks from visiting brothers were excellent
- there is laughter in some meetings and not in a cruel way. Just some funny mistakes, usually the sisters doing ministry demonstrations and unintentionally insult the householder haha
- The chat with others. Once I helped clean the hall before memorial. I sweated like mad but it was good fun and much laughter and we had fun and someone made a video montage of the photos
- some people with comments are highly original and interesting. I can count these people on one hand
- I visited another hall on holidays and was made feel welcome and one brother went out of way to help me get to the bus station. Very welcoming
What I dislike
- mind numbing watchtower study. A question is asked and someone reads the text back. I could have stayed home.....
- The realization that cliques exist. Despite me being pretty chatty some people ignore me in the hall and walk past me on the street. I did nothing wrong but they have their own friends and they wouldn’t give me the time of day. Most people are lovely but Im not in all the cliques
- what started as encouragement to attend became suffocating pressure. I work full time and can be shattered on Friday evenings and still must attend or I feel I let people down
- the elders have more plans for my future than I do. “Wait until you help with microphones and give talks!!” There is a shortage of men in the congregation and the elders often do microphones, I guess they want new blood. I’m happy to clean the hall and help out but I don’t want responsibility. I’d be happy with cleaning, I’ve no goals to be a leader
- I made the mistake of saying I didn’t enjoy fully every meeting and was informed it was my responsibility to associate more before and after and also prepare and read more in advance.Sorry
- awwwwing when a 5 year old comments. Does that child even understand what they are saying?
My main issue was the suffocating pressure to attend meetings. I was exhausted after work and sitting on the train home waiting to depart. I felt I was wrong or weak or something and got off the train and went to the meeting. I deal with pressure in my finance job but this different as if I’m under control. I was suffocating under it.
A book “ who is doing Jehovah will “ states in some countries people walk through jungles to attend meetings and I was told in a high handed way we have no jungles here do we?? My cheeky comment saying traffic in this city is a jungle didn’t impress I didn’t feel helped, I felt worthless and guilty
Last night I told my bible study conductor I want to take a break for a few months. Was asked if all ok and immediate concern but I just repeated and “don’t call me, I’ll call you” but said in a nice way, not sharp like that. I am unfailingly polite. I signed up to bible study and I enjoyed it. It’s all I wanted
sorry for long post, just thought I’d share