According to one JW there can only be 1 of 3 reasons why you left.

by Bonsai 54 Replies latest jw experiences

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    What a lovely thread. I remember a conversation with an "older" female member who was certain that if I had not been raised as a Jehovah's Witness that I would be living a teen life of debauchery, strung out on heroin, prostituting for my next fix, and I would probably be well on my way to prison or the unwed mothers' home-and how fortunate I was to have been given this gift by my mom. I was about 16 at the time and was certain none of those things interested me because of my personality and my interests (academics, classical music, and other wholesome interests), not because my mom was raising me in the religion. I told her as much and informed her there were many girls at my school who were not JWs and not doing any of those things either. Of course she disagreed, and we agreed to disagree.

    Fast forward 3 years, one lovely May day, when I realized, without any doubt in my mind, that God, as I always knew it, simply did not exist. Once that happened, there was no going back.

    Although I had the opportunity to be stumbled many times, I wasn't, so my pride didn't interfere.

    Although leaving would give me the opportunity to fornicate without their consequences, that was the least of my interests.

    Being gay didn't interest me, so that wasn't it.

    I did finally leave, since I no longer believed, because they were harassing me and some were shunning me for attending college, even though I had my mother's permission and support. Not being beholden to them gave me the freedom to become an educated, self-supporting woman. No one "in the world" ever takes the fact that I left the JWs to mean I am 1) a fornicator; 2) too proud to be a member of a religious congregation; or 3) LGBQT.

    I wonder if the JW that said those things was projecting their own weaknesses onto those who have exited...

  • Finkelstein

    I left out the lying bullshit orchestrated by the corruption of the Watchtower Publishing house. I couldn't get my mind around that god would be supporting that organization.

    Commercialized false religion got to me.

  • Scully

    I had plenty of opportunities to be Stumbled™, but time and again I sucked it up and gave people the benefit of the doubt, even when they didn't deserve it.

    The pivotal moment for me was reading through the Insight and Aid books description of Lying.

    While malicious lying is definitely condemned in the Bible, this does not mean that a person is obligated to divulge truthful information to people who are not entitled to it.

    It made me realize that as long as someone was deemed to not be entitled to honesty, lying by omission was perfectly acceptable in WT land. And then it occurred to me, What if the Society itself believes that its followers are not entitled to honesty? The more flip-flops I uncovered, the more re-imagining of doctrine that took place, and yes, even outright in-your-face lies that I heard from Elders™ and rank-and-file JWs, the more offensive the Organization™ as a whole became to me. They expected honesty of me, they expected me to teach my children to be honest, they had a Public Talk Outline™ entitled Conduct Yourselves Honestly In All Things, and yet they viewed me and every other JW as not being "entitled to" honesty from them - I lost all respect for the Organization™ at that point. That was the last straw for Mr. Scully too.

    I get the concept of confidentiality - certain things are none of other peoples' business, like your finances, confidential interactions between clients and lawyers or patients and medical care professionals. However, the very nature of Elders'™ inquiries in a Judicial™ setting required an accused person to set aside that boundary, being intimidated into answering very intrusive personal questions about sexual activity, for example, questions that can only be described as providing lecherous titillation to three men who may as well be reading or watching porn for all the Spiritual Guidance™ they provide in so doing.

  • LongHairGal

    I guess I would fall under No. 3 except that's not the whole story.

    I left because of their bullshit 1995 Generation teaching plus the attitudes towards women and responsible working people.

    They really should have a No. 4 - Faulty teachings and failed prophecy; and a No. 5 - Can't in good conscience tell the public it's Truth.

    The JW religion is BS and anybody who believes anybody who leaves falls under these three categories is a very, very naive individual.

  • smiddy

    Your old friend is an idiot,rationalising his pig headed stupidity to justify his blindly staying in the religion , because he himself is doing so out of pride ,refusing to admit he has been conned into believing in a religios cult.

  • TheWonderofYou
  • snugglebunny

    People leave for more than one reason, usually there's several. I wrote my life story on another site. This extract oulines the background and reasons why I went:

    >>The downside of our JW marriage was that we had absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. Cindy was volatile and unpredictable. She had no boundaries at all and would even row in the street. Once, at a dinner party, she struck another JW lady around the face.

    Added to which, she’d taken to hitting me around the face too. She was always pathetically sorry after each incident but I was later to earn how she had been on the receiving of violence herself as a child. It seemed to me that just about everyone I knew who’d had a JW upbringing was a totally emotional wreck, me included.

    The violence had become known to the local elders, so they called around to see me. I was sporting a big black eye when they came in, so I lied as to how it had occurred. No good. They pounced on it and reprimanded me for not keeping my wife "in subjection". Thanks, fellas, that really helped.

    It just got worse and worse. She scratched my car, scratched me, threatened me with a knife, hit me with a broken glass so that I had to have stitches, it just went on and on. I remember once sitting down in a transport cafe for hours and letting a feeling of total despair wash over me. I knew that I could be an irritating bugger at times but surely I didn’t deserve all this crap?

    So we both started to play the field a bit. Just parties, a smoochy dance with someone else or a quick kiss in the kitchen with another lady or fella. Nothing more though, nothing for which one could be disfellowshipped. Not yet anyway..We’re now getting into 1972. At this point, my meeting attendance is down to zero and my PO contacts my dad expressing his concern that I’m falling away from the JW’s. Most JW's are anticipating armageddon's arrival in 1975, but I'm not remotely convinced. Added to which, I’m occasionally sneaking off to a remote pub out in the countryside to enjoy a quiet pint and a cigar.

    I’m also having real issues with JW beliefs centering around a loving god killing off millions of people and the injustice of disfellowshipping (excommunication). I imagine myself trying to explain both of these witness tenets to someone who is rational and all I can see is incredulity that anyone could accept such cruelty. My dad offers to give me a private Bible study to address these issues. I don’t take up the offer.

    Witnesses are now contacting me to urge me to hang in there, only 3 years to 1975. He that endures to the end..etc etc.

    I’m working in a sales environment now and have had some degree of success. I’ve kept quiet about the JW connection and am thoroughly enjoying the experience of being accepted as a normal person by my workmates. It’s at this point that I begin to realise that these “old world” associations are a damned sight more pleasant and straightforward than any JW folk with whom I’ve been associating. Plus, there’s no judgementalism! <<

  • zeb

    three reasons.




    added up comes to 1000+ cases of child abuse not reported to the Police.

  • John Free
    John Free

    Yep have experienced similar bonsaisan. They simply cannot bear the thought that intelligible people arrive at the conclusion that it is not 'the troof'.

  • Zaccheus

    I left because I wanted to smoke grass and write anti-establishment poetry.

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