Witnessing: Turning the Tables on Them

by cruzanheart 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • cruzanheart

    A couple of weeks ago I started an irritable thread about the girl at work who gave out my home phone number -- from the firm's confidential internal phone list -- to an old friend I hadn't talked to in about 20 years. I smelled a set-up and made a stink at work about it. As far as I know, she was "talked to" and the subject was briefly mentioned at a staff meeting that I missed due to being out of town.

    Well, I thought about it for a few days and decided to give the old friend a call anyway. I decided I had nothing to fear or hide from, and I also decided that I would tell her EVERYTHING that had happened that made me stop going to meetings. That's exactly what I did, and it blew her away. Not once in the conversation did I get an admonition to go back to meetings and, to give her credit, very few canned responses. In fact, I think it took her about 2/3 of the conversation before she realized that I wasn't going to meetings anymore. When she asked me, in tones of great concern, after I told her why we weren't going to meetings anymore, "And how are you and the family doing now?" I said with pride, "Absolutely wonderful. We have less stress, more time for each other, and a sense of happiness that our best is good enough for Jehovah."

    I think I gave her a headache, but I also hope that I gave her something to think about. I've decided to do that with every old friend or other Witness who comes my way and wants to "encourage" me back to meetings. After all, if I can't give a friend the benefit of my experiences, then I wouldn't be a very good friend to them.

    Also, yesterday I received a beautiful, 4-page letter from Ray Franz in answer to a letter I sent to him. I was curious about a few things that took place down in the Caribbean when I lived there, and I thought he might be familiar with them. (He was.) I also enclosed a copy of the letter I sent to the elders about my dad's suicide. All I can say is, if I'd received a letter like his from the Society, I'd have thought twice about leaving the Borg. It was warm, encouraging, extremely intelligent, and very caring.

    I thought about posting the letter, but I didn't want to do that without his permission. However, I'll quote what he did from the book "The Myth of Certainty" by university professor Daniel Taylor, because I found it really interesting:

    The primary goal of all institutions and subcultures is self-preservation. Preserving the faith is central to God's plan foir human history; preserving particular religious institutions is not. Do not expect those who run the institutions to be sensitive to the difference. God needs no particular person, church, denomination, creed or organization to accomplish his purpose. He wil make use of those, in all their diversity, who are ready to be used, but will leave to themselves those who labor for their own ends.
    Nonetheless, questioning the institutions is synonymous, for many, with attacking God -- something not long to be tolerated. Supposedly they are protecting God . . . . Actually, they are protecting themselves, their view of the world, and their sense of security. The religious institution has given them meaning, a sense of purpose, and, in some cases, careers. Anyone perceived as a threat to these things is a threat indeed.
    This threat is often met, or suppressed even before it arises, with power . . . . Institutions express their power most clearly by enunciating, interpreting and enforcing the rules of the subculture.

    So let's get out there and be a threat, people! Tell it like it is! Obviously we will never succeed in "destroying" the Borg because there will always be people willing and eager to support a rule-driven institution. But we can tell our stories to whoever will listen -- we can TELL THE TRUTH -- and just maybe help a few people along the way.


  • kgfreeperson

    Nina. You are both brave and compassionate. I am in awe.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Nina, that is totally AWESOME! You get a gold star! I wish I could be that successful when I encounter witlesses...but at least it's gotten to the point where they don't make my liver quiver anymore..

    Frannie B

  • coffee_black

    Great, Nina!

    The very best way to burst their bubble is to have a happy, successful life, and let it shine through. They can't seem to comprehend this, because the wt teaches that if you leave, you will have a miserable life.


  • minimus

    What disarms a JW is when you refer to "Jehovah". Most Witnesses assume that if you stop going to meetings you stop believing in Jehovah.

  • cruzanheart

    You're right, minimus! One of the things she asked me, early in the conversation, was about my relationship with Jehovah after what the elders did. I explained that my mom, a notorious man-hater (poor Dad), made sure that I kept my idea of Jehovah separate from the actions of the people who claim to represent him, and that has helped me a lot -- I told her that I actually feel closer to God now because I don't have the actions of his so-called reps getting in the way. I think it was that point in the conversation where she asked me if I was still going to meetings -- DU-UH!! I was still talkin' the talk, but . . . it wasn't quite the Watchtower.


  • acsot
    I actually feel closer to God now because I don't have the actions of his so-called reps getting in the way.

    Wow, that's a great answer - can I save it for my future use?

    Acsot - of the shamless plagiarism class

  • cruzanheart

    Acsot, consider my quotes yours!


  • Special K
    Special K


    I enjoyed this post of yours so much...

    I threw God out 10 years ago when d'fd and still feel the big void...

    I guess I'm all messed up about God.. I wish I could have kept Jehovah with me when I left..then I would have somone to pray to...rather than no higher power..

    I am happy and lead my life.. but I still miss God!!..

    What I pass on to my children.. I guess is a sense of self.. and faith in one self to search their own paths.

    Also, Now that I think their J.W. bible is all screwed up.. I don't trust to rely on that either...From what I hear it is too many Lord and Jehovahs put in where he wasn't .. etc.

    I am happy for your retained godliness and your forwardness to seek what you need from those who can give it...

    Good for you!

    Special K

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    So let's get out there and be a threat, people!

    I couldn't agree with you more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Great story cruz, well done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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