The Bible a wierd book.

by James Mixon 22 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Some events in the bible can be questionable but there are some stories the rings of truth, and why do I say that because they are so descriptive. Judges 3:22 "Ehud an Israelite judge, goes to the king of the Moabites to pay annual tribute. Instead, he pulls out a dagger and stabs the sh--t out of the king while he is bathing, he literal caused the sh--t to flow and the dagger disappeared in the folds of the King's skin. The bible can be very sadistic at times. Why not describe the period that Jonah spent in the belly of the fish, did it smell, did the fish take you to other land, did you happen to meet others in your stay and did you ever eat fish after your ride...Just a little more details about unbelievable events...

  • tepidpoultry

    Did you ever think about Nabal or "senseless one"? Did everyone including his household call him this? Did his parents give him this name upon birth? Could he change this name at any time by going to Public Registry with a goat surcharge? We know this account is true as it's in the Bible, hmmm

  • tepidpoultry

    Samson spent a night with a prostitute (hooker), but if you did that today you'd be DFed, (I'll spare you the witty asides) :)

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Nabal sounds like the GB today, he typifies the stupid and senseless prophets... I would love to read a little more detail how GOD create the earth, instead we have bam,boom and we have earth and all within it...

  • stuckinarut2

    If you want to see these bible accounts in a lighter way, try:

    youtube : Messed up Bible Stories

  • hoser

    If the bible were a movie it would be R rated.

  • Chook

    If the bible was written today it would be regarded as blasphemy, No court of law would swear on it. Swearing on the bible gives a lot of latitude for lying. The bible is predominantly a book of war and ends with Armageddon the great war, then we will have one more at the end of a thousand years for good measure. All generations love a good verse evil fairytale.

  • doubtfull1799

    Robert M Price in his book, "Holy Fable: The Old Testament Undistorted boy Faith," gives a good explanation for this weird name business.

    Being just mythical stories, the names were not literal names of real persons (after all what parents would call their kid a name meaning "stupid or senseless" (Nabal)? They were descriptive names given to obviously fictional people showing the role the particular character has in the story or narrative....

    Highly recommend Roberts book for a much more expert explanation and many other examples.

  • smiddy3

    Why not describe the period that Jonah spent in the belly of the fish, did it smell, did the fish take you to other land, did you happen to meet others in your stay and did you ever eat fish after your ride..

    Jonah spent 3 days in the belly of the whale right ? how many times did he have to take a piss , or a crap for that matter ,did he drink fresh water while their ?, where did that come from ,? and what did he eat.?

    Another one

    The story of Samson has to be a fictional story too does`it ? A man who gets his strength from the length of his hair ? JW`s frown on brothers who have long hair.!

    Samson gets 300 foxes and takes torches tale to tale and sets them alight and sent them out into the fields of the philistines

    To burn their fields down .

    The logistics of getting 300 foxes from miles around and then getting them to sit quietly while you tie their tales together and then set fire to them (remember we are talking about 300 foxes from miles around ) and then set them off into the fields of the philistines.

  • Diogenesister

    what about this one, another Samson classic in Judges 16:

    "Then Samson said, "With the jawbone of a donkey, I've piled them in heaps! With the jawbone of a donkey, I've killed a thousand men!"

    I think that's why the Jews have the holy book, "the Tanakh", "Prophets" and "writings". I think it's only relatively recently the protestants have deemed the whole bible as the SOLE authority and inerrant word of GOD ' sola scripture' I believe it's called.

    You can understand why the Jews were a little more cautious about using some books as inerrant.

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