Df'd minor thrown out of home

by purrpurr 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • stillin

    Tiki, you may be just a little naive. The child who gets "thrown out" may have been all kinds of things. Child services may start a file on the situation, but some behaviours are simply not acceptable in your home. When you inform your child that their actions are not welcome, they walk out the door telling everybody and anybody that they were "thrown out."

    where the Witnesses differ very often, is when the kid starts to get on a decent track but still is not going to become a Witness.

  • Phoebe

    I've heard of several people who were thrown out for just saying they didn't want to go to the meetings anymore. I know my parents would have gone ballistic if I'd said that and for sure would have been shown the door. Sometimes it's that fear that keeps you towing the line. Where would you go? How would you support yourself?

  • blondie

    There are laws regulating this. I would check with your state agency and find out what happens when a minor is kicked out without any other place to go. Parents are required legally to support their children until 18 but there may be other circumstances--per tiki.

  • blondie

    Isn't there a scripture in the OT that says parents can kill their rebellious children by stoning?

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    a friend of mine who pioneered after leaving school--told her dad she didnt want to be a dub any more--she was 17 and living at home. till that point. she was homeless that night. now 30 years later i dont think they have spoken since.

  • Finkelstein

    Its illegal in most modernized countries.,but knowing of the apathetic, ignorance and stupidity of many people who are JWS this story may very well be true.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    When our just turned 18 year old son was df and I was an elder, my wife and I would never have thought to kick him out. Instead we encouraged him to go to a good trade school which he did and now almost 42 years old still uses that trade ti make a living. When the co came into town a few weeks after his dfing he tried to have me removed but the body of elders saw no need for it. Our son admitted he was scaree at the time we would k8ck him out.

    Whats funny is now he is the one who refuses to have anything to do with us. Oh well maybe he will wakeup someday. Still Totally ADD

  • blondie

    My sister was thrown out but then we found my father had been molesting her for 8 years (we did not live at home...we were adults over 30).

    I can remember being confronted by a person at the door that a neighbor had thrown out their 16 year old pregnant daughter and they had taken her in.

    I figure that if the child is committing acts dangerous to the family, child services can determine that. I figure jw parents are more likely throw out their children more for other things. I worked in the juvenile justice system for 8 years working with child services. I saw it all, including jw parents who threw out minor children.

  • blondie

    13. How would parents deal with a disfellowshiped child in the home?

    13 If a minor child is disfellowshiped, the parents will still care for his physical needs and provide moral training and discipline. They would not conduct a Bible study directly with the child, with him participating. Yet this does not mean that he would not be required to sit in on the family study. And they might direct attention to parts of the Bible or Christian publications that contain counsel he needs. (Prov. 1:8-19; 6:20-22; 29:17; Eph. 6:4) They can have him accompany them to and sit with them at Christian meetings, hoping that he will take to heart Biblical counsel.

    https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/pc/r1/lp-e/1200022303/45/2 (1981)

    If the child is a minor and is living at home, you will naturally continue to take care of his physical needs. He also requires moral training and discipline, and you have the responsibility to provide these. (Proverbs 1:8-18; 6:20-22; 29:17) You may want to conduct a Bible study with him, involving his direct participation. You can draw his attention to various scriptures and to the publications provided by “the faithful and discreet slave.” (Matthew 24:45) You can also take the child with you to Christian meetings and have him sit with you. All of this can be done in hopes that he will take Scriptural counsel to heart.

    https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/pc/r1/lp-e/1200271695/10/5 (2007)

    8. What responsibility do Christian parents have toward a minor disfellowshipped child living in the home?

    8 If a minor child living in the home is disfellowshipped, Christian parents are still responsible for his upbringing. The Watchtower of November 15, 1988, page 20, states: “Just as they will continue to provide him with food, clothing, and shelter, they need to instruct and discipline him in line with God’s Word. (Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17) Loving parents may thus arrange to have a home Bible study with him, even if he is disfellowshipped. Maybe he will derive the most corrective benefit from their studying with him alone. Or they may decide that he can continue to share in the family study arrangement.”​—See also The Watchtower of October 1, 2001, pages 16-17.

    https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/pc/r1/lp-e/1200271695/10/5 KM 2002

  • StephaneLaliberte
    Stillin: some behaviours are simply not acceptable in your home. When you inform your child that their actions are not welcome, they walk out the door telling everybody and anybody that they were "thrown out."

    Though this is true, JW kids are more at risk than others as they find themselves questioning the authority of both their religion and their parents. Things presented as truth and facts based on evidence turned out to be deceitful lies. This crisis takes away their ability to distinguish right from wrong until they build it all up from scratch. Problem is, their parents are so toxic to that process that they are simply unable to do this at home. Hence, they end up doing awful things that gets them kicked out.

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