Do any of you ex JW`s ever feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit you were once a JW? To your now friends / associates ?

by smiddy3 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • StephaneLaliberte

    I’m not ashamed to admit I’m still a victim of a cult from which I faded. How else am I supposed to explain that I have next to no friends from my past. That I don’t decorate my home on Halloween/Christmas? That I don’t see certain people in my family?

    The shame lies with the cult, the abusers, not the victim. All I can do now is do the best with the situation that I have. How can I be ashamed of that?

    Besides, I have other things in my life that I’m proud of. I’m a good father and husband. I’ve provided help to family and friends through the years and have shown to be a good person with people around me. I’m highly skilled in my profession and helped my wife in that regard as well. Yet, I’m a simple man whose idea of a great meal is fast food.

    If you want to be around people who appreciate you for who you are, they need to know about both your qualities and your challenges. In my case, JWs is a big deal.

    But the key is to celebrate your winnings and acknowledge your loses. For many of us, raised as JWs, it feels wrong to “celebrate our winnings”. We’ve been thought that even if we excel, we’re still “good for nothing slaves”. And that even if we’re generous with others, we shouldn’t boast about it: “let your left hand not know what your right hand is doing”! Basically, not allowing you to be proud in anything!

    Well, now that I’ve left that group, I understand that this way of thinking is simply abusive and designed to keep you down. I left that group and now I’m proud of the good things I do and unashamed of the bad things that happened to me.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Not necessarily embarrassed but don’t exactly broadcast it either. When I have mentioned it, most have a vague notion or no idea at all about who JWs are.

    So much for all the years wasted spreading the good news and feeling like a “spectacle” and an “object of hatred.” It appears nobody even noticed .

  • Overrated

    My close friends know. But people I meet I just don't talk about my past. It's too ugly to bring up.

  • LongHairGal


    I certainly won’t bring up to people I just meet that I was once active in the JW religion because I do realize it sounds corny and stupid…But, if I know them for a while and they get to know me and my history gradually, it might get worked into the conversation.

    However, I make it known that I was younger and was misled and it wasn’t what I thought it was. I also stress the fact that it was toxic and I was criticized for having a full-time job and that I wouldn’t be Retired today if I had listened to them and am Glad I walked away from it.

  • Rivergang

    Very, very few of my associates know of my JW past. It is something that I now try to put behind me and would much rather just forget about.

    The trouble is, it keeps coming back to bite one on the @$$!

  • JoenB75

    Im not ashamed to admit either. Although we left when I was teen, it definetly had a unfurtunate impact on us as a family and as kids. Funny thing is that as I grow older people stop asking if I am still in. Maybe it my beard and holes in the jeans

  • Balaamsass2

    I am not ashamed, but I don't broadcast it. In business and professional settings, I believe it may create some concern about your ability for rational thought.

  • Anna Marina
    Anna Marina

    It depends how you tell people but once they understand you are not a cult member people enjoy hearing about what exactly went on.

    It usually a saucer-eyes and gaping mouth response.

  • punkofnice

    I found it interesting how the people I knew when I was a Jobo, actually told me they thought the Jobos were a stupid cult after I left. However, they didn't want to say that when I was a Jobo.

    How darned polite of them.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Yes, I'm embarrassed! Embarrassed that I was so f***ing gullible! and for so long!

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