My younger brother officially Disassociated today

by pale.emperor 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • millie210

    Wasnt it Daniel who was in service to the king (or some high up government official) and he had to go with that person to his religious services?

    Seems I remember this all coming up in relation to a JW who had to take their person they were a "carer" for to church and the answer was - it was ok and the point of reference was the Daniel thing above,

    so why wouldnt that work in reverse?

    Of course, this is the JWs and they change the rules as they go so I am probably posing a rhetorical question.

  • SummerAngel

    Hi Pale

    SS should be able to help or certainly offer signposting to an org that can. As a potential vulnerable adult this could come under safeguarding process if he has any emotional pressure and definitely withdrawal of care. Social services will also support with finding a carer and depending on benefits may fund some of the support. Also strongly consider an advocate for him again there should be a local org that deals in this. Advocates are usually free and their role is to ensure the persons voice is heard. MIND may be able to help

  • nugget

    My son has aspergers and the religion was a huge stresser for him. Being out of organisation has greatly improved his mental well being and I hope the same will be true for your brother. My son was protected in the main because his Dad and I acted as a buffer between my son and the elders. He has adapted to the change and now sees the break from the JWs as a very positive thing.

    I found the best approach for Kes was not to rush him and give him space and reassurance so he could find his way. I made sure that key people such as his school teacher and carers were aware of the situation so they could support him as well.

    If his carers are JWs then they may do more harm than good continuing in the role. New carers who put their role first rather than a religious edict may be more helpful whilst your brother is in this stressful transition period.

  • mentalclarity

    The elders have told him that they'll have to inform his JW carers that they can no longer work for him.

    That's not correct (as far as I know)- I'd request literature asking where that is stated. My ex husband was told by an elder he had to quit his job because he worked with a df'd uber jw family told me this was wrong, I confronted said elder and since he couldn't bring in any literature to back up his claim, the ex stayed working in the same office for a while. Unless something new has come out, I'm pretty sure you can work with ex jw's (not advised of course).

  • UnshackleTheChains

    You asked if the elders telling your brothers JW carers not to work with him might be illegal

    It woukd be worth checking this out with citizens advice.

    Here is what it says in the equality act 2010. Note also, that under the national care standards, as a service user he is entitled to basic human rights such as choice.

    I would imagine his JW carers could face disciplinary action if they refuse to work with him as might be construed as discrimination against your brother simply because of his personal beliefs or views.

  • UnshackleTheChains

    Hey Pale emporer.

    At the bottom of the page re the link I sent you, there is another link 'Equality advisory support' where you can contact them if you have any questions.

  • Crazyguy

    Just be there for him , you know this, help him to biuld a new life and new friends etc. make sure he knows not to meet with the elders they’ll try to harass him to destroy the letter then probably df him instead.

  • snare&racket

    The government has great support and services for people like your brother, please call social services and get them involved. Also visit the local GP with him.

    Local JW’s are not equivelant to qualified carers and is an unfair pressure to put on a vulnerable adult, as the support system is conditional on loyalty and support of the church not your brothers needs. It’s actualky outrageous and if his carers stop attending to him because of his change in religious belief they possibly could be liable for a lack of duty of care.

  • Moster

    As for arriving at his door - tack a note on the door stating that he has no need to talk to any JW's, that he is fine and aware of what his DA letter means.

    A veritable "Do Not Disturb' sign.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Sorry Pale Emperor for all this stress you and your brother are going through. I have no advice but I know you will always do the right thing concerning your brother. You know what the cult is all about and this is your super power over those who are still trap in that cult. You have already demonstrated your self control and kindness in helping your brother from past post and I feel positive you will figure this all out. Take care of yourself we will be thinking of you. Still Totally ADD

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