looking for consolation

by leslane 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hamas

    Hi Leslane

    Welcome to the forum !

    That was a very brave thing to do back there. I dont pretend to know any of the difficulties facing homosexuals but I know you have a hard time. You must have been pretty sure of this before you said these things, so to go off on a lecture on 'are you sure' would be foolish of me.

    All I can do therefore is wish you luck, my friend, and peace.


  • tinkerbell82
    Well, I'm already risen off the lake and it's impossible for me to go back now. lol

    lol, that is a GREAT quote!! i'm gonna write that one down and file it away for future use ;)

  • leslane

    Hammas, thank you for respecting my judgment. Yes, that is true that many people like to criticize me for my age, thinking that I'm too young to know what I want. So they take it upon themselves to tell me. I have a quote from another book I read, I post it as a signature to all my emails because it so describes my life : People assume they know you. They create a future for you, and then are shocked when you have the audacity to create your own future.

    -Rita Mae Brown
  • Emma


    Now, that's a great quote; It sounds as though you've been doing your homework.

    (I also liked the "mist rising" analogy.)


  • micheal

    Wow those are two great quotes leslane. I just copied the second one and I am in the midst of emailing it to her, thanx alot!

  • Swan

    Welcome Leslane!

    I have two granddaughters that are lesbian, so I am somewhat familiar with their issues. My biggest advice to you right now is as an xJW. You need to learn the art of drag. That's right! Drag!

    Drag your feet, drag your butt, drag, drag, drag. Avoid, postpone, stall by any means, getting baptized. Tell them you need to develop a closer relationship with Jehovah, or that you have doubts, or there are still lingering questions in you mind and that you need to study more. Then pour into the self study, etc. even if all you are really doing is faking the underlines while listening to some cool stuff on the radio.

    There is no way that they can disfellowship you if you have never been baptized. Technically you can't even be labeled as disassociated. So just drag the baptism thing out to the point where it just never happens and you are out on your own. Then drop it.

    You may still be shunned, but because you aren't baptized, you will be treated so much better overall. Many of the rules of shunning won't apply to you and your family may still choose to talk to you if they just see you as weak or inactive.

    Good luck!


  • Elsewhere

    Awwww... you just need a big sloppy dog to give you a big sloppy kiss!

    What ever you do, don't get baptized! Doing this puts you under the authority of the organization... which in turn gives them the right to drag you into judicial committees and to shun you.

    Move out as soon as it is reasonably possible… I’m sure you’re dad says “So long as you are under my roof, you will follow my rules”… once you get out, you will be able to tell your dad that when he comes to your home. "Dad, so long as you are under my roof, you cannot say things against my sexuality. If you must, then leave."

    Bottom line is this... whoever pay's the bills is the one in control.

  • leslane

    Everybody: Thank you so so much for all your suggestions!!! I like that drag one a lot too . You are all so helpful, and by all this, I can see that you are the ReaL caring people, none of you are hypocrites. I was in such desperation that I had no clue what to do to postpone this terrible assigned future for myself, but you guys offered the best ideas that were right and front of me and I just coudlnt see. Yea, those quotes are awesome aren't they, from a lesbian book though, "Alma Matter", so you probably wouldn't want to read it. But then again, if you just want an insight to the struggles a homosexual has, go on ahead. Once again, Thank You so much!

  • leslane

    You are so right, he pays the bills, so he does what he wants. Well, that will be over soon won't it? Hate to hurt him like that, but I would hate to hurt myself even more by committing to them. Little selfish there, but to he** with being meek. (astrics placed on unassurity if we can swear in these forums)

  • happyout


    Welcome (hugs Leslane tightly). I know it's hard to live under someone's rules when they go against your very being, and that's one of the many reasons I moved out of my parent's house. You have received great advice here, and just let me add one more thing: Please, try to always show respect for your parents. It will make you feel better, and possibly help their attitude when you do leave. I don't mean to imply that you haven't, I just wanted to remind you. When I left the WTS, one of the things that my mom said (after she started speaking to me again) was that she never would have suspected I didn't believe, because I was always so respectful of her. In the long run, it made it easier for her to accept my decision to leave, because I didn't do any of the teenage rebellious stuff, so she felt I really put a lot of thought into it, and went about it in a mature way.

    So, good luck to you, you have found a wonderful place with a lot of great people who will help you all they can.


Share this