Engaged and having a baby, I’m not JW fiancé is

by Viarayne 33 Replies latest social relationships

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Your boyfriend knows all the answers to your questions.

    Ask him to explain how your relationship/marriage/parenthood will be required to develop.

    I'd suggest you record his answers - just in case he denies things when he starts obeying the cult again.

  • joe134cd

    I’ll let you make your own mind up. My advise would be to sit down with your intended to view and openly discuss the below link and the responses you have received to your question on here. You will get either 2 responses to this.

    (1) Apostates who have been handed over to Satan.

    (2) These are people who have legitimate concerns about an organisation.

    That my friend will be your answer. I think it’s telling that you have chosen to raise this question with us, over going directly to the source (elders) for the information. You will know the answer. Here is the link


  • Giordano

    To those who are suspicious of unmarried or soon to be married non witness women who are expressing concerns about their boyfriends or husband to be when they reveal a need to return to the JW world. Don't discourage them from asking for advice and information.

    We can read their comments for ourselves and decide to respond or not.

    I don't see anything to gain by questioning their credibility unless there are issues. Asking for money or a meet up. Becoming really preachy trying to turn us into their religious lambs.

    When an honest question or three is asked, a reasonable brief history is given and especially if they return to the discussion to answer questions and/or correct mistakes. Which we often do make on this forum when we misunderstand a persons point of view. Or fail to read their opening point of view.

    What has been questioned is why are there now these 'groups' of women coming on this forum?

    As far as 'groups' of the same type of people goes........ in my 9 years of being on this forum...........we have had many clusters of people who arrive here looking for help especially when it relates to the JW world .

    People who are fighting depression, people trying to deal with being shunned or feeling like they are going to be DF.

    People who wonder if they should DA themselves or fade.

    We have dealt with people trying to get past physical and mental health issues.

    People who are waking up and don't understand what is happening to them emotionally.

    People who can no longer pretend not to be gay.

    How many times have we heard from people who feel they are living a lie as a JW?

    They come in clusters drawn to a strong post that represents their particular interest. Or they start their own subject because they need the help and experience.

    And now marrying age women who started off with a non believer or someone who disguised the fact that they were indeed a closet JW but didn't reveal that bit of information.

    What it sounds like to me, considering the ladies that we have been hearing from, is that these same issues are happening in volume because male born-ins are leaving or have left the JW life and at some point after meeting the love of their life decided they should return.

    Born-ins have a different view of being a JW......... for many it's going to be about sowing their wild oats, for others it's about having a difficult time developing a social life, maybe a good job and they begin to miss the JW support, the friends, even the meetings etc.

    The changes we have seen in the JW world is now impacting non JW women.

    I think this is an honest approach for them to come here and other sites to learn what kind of changes could happen.

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    My Advise:::

    Especially so when one party is in a cult!


  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    Giordano16 hours ago

    To those who are suspicious of unmarried or soon to be married non witness women who are expressing concerns about their boyfriends or husband to be when they reveal a need to return to the JW world. Don't discourage them from asking for advice and information.


    dont you think its more than a coincidence we have had quite a few new members posting on a very similar subject--and in most cases they never return?

    it could be one troll--or several organised through a pro dub facebook group.

    maybe @Simon could run some sort of internet trace to see if these one hitters are in some way connected.

  • Giordano
    don't you think its more than a coincidence we have had quite a few new members posting on a very similar subject--and in most cases they never return?

    They don't return because they are called trolls and disparaged by people on this forum who can be total jerks.

    Stan I think you have been more reasonable then a few others who want to make an issue about this 'group' of women wanting to know what this return to the JW world will actually mean. Trolls seldom ask an honest question.

    The really harmful trolls are those who promote a hidden agenda. Like the idiots who think Trump is great, that Guns of all sort....... should be legal, That certain past Presidents and Senators should be locked up because they are Libtards.

    Personally I can't tell the difference between a Russian Bot and a far right conservative anymore. One disgusts me and the other pisses me off.

    These women are asking about the JW world, why their boyfriend or future husband want to keep their relationship or pregnancy secrete. They want to know what can happen in the future re this religion and raising a child in it.

    They are starting to see a change in their mate, that can be alarming, so they go to the internet and arrive here asking their questions. And called Trolls.

    As stated I think we are seeing the result of many male JW born-ins engaging in A secrete life style that allows for all of the things that the JW life style doesn't permit.

    That kind of JW is ego eccentric and does not feel like the JW rules apply to him. Because of friendships within the Friends they can keep one foot in the religion and one foot in the world.

    Or........ being out has proven too difficult . Which is often a matter of the way they were raised. After some failures in the world they return to the JW fold they were raised in.

    We understand from Pew that 67% of born-ins fade or DA what we don't know is how many decide to go back.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    It is commendable that you are the sort of person who will respect his right to freedom of religion and not hold him back from attending and worshipping however be aware that the same respect will not be given to you or your child by him or anyone else in this cult.

    Their collective mind set is "if you are not with us, you are against us and worthy of an imminent death at the hands of our loving creator at the great day of God the almighty.,"

    He will be pressured to get you to convert and it will cause tension in your relationship.

  • Closer to Fine
    Closer to Fine

    Welcome Viarayne. I'm married to a pomi (physically out mentally in) jw. He told me it was no big deal 'it's just the religion I was raised in'. This turned out to be a lie. Unless a jw researches and determines their religion to not be 'the truth' the indoctrination never leaves them. This usually causes big problems in marriages when the other person is worldly. Being worldly to them basically means you're not on jehovahs team, you're on satans team. No matter if you're a good person or not, they believe you will be destroyed at armageddon. They believe that only jws in good standing will survive and everyone else in the world will die. It gives them a superiority complex and this will carry over into your marriage. Misogyny is rampant in the jw world and their teachings. Your fiance may be looked down upon for marrying a worldly woman, however, he may also be pitied because they will feel his life must be so very difficult being married to one of satans followers. Honestly, it sounds crazy but this is truly what they believe. You're lucky you found this site. I've been married for a long time and I knew nothing about jws when I married one. There was no internet. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have married one. Ex-jws are different though and I find them to be honest and lovely people, but they must be fully awake and realize that it's a cult. If they don't realize this the chance they'll go back is very high. I wish you the best and encourage you to research jws thoroughly before you marry one.

  • joe134cd

    I’m going to give you one recent example of one such person. I want to keep her identity secret, as I’m just going on my gut instinct.

    This women comes on this board wanting advise on a relationship and a pregnancy that she had with a (let’s say) naughty JW. She is seeking advise on his where abouts in some really obscure place. I think it odd that during the time of the relationship that she couldn’t of at least seen some face book page, drivers license or pics of his city or homeland. I PM her a couple weeks later enquiring if her post brought any results. She says she dosnt know where to start. I think that’s weird because even though she is in a developing country, and with the circumstances she is in. There must be some way of locating him, as they originally meet as work colleagues. Surly the guy must of had to provide some sort of identification in order to get the job in the first place, and to travel abroad.

    Anyway despite my better judgment I decide to try and help her. I do a bit of phoning around some JW contacts, and provide her with some physical phone numbers of people who may be able to help her in locating this guy. It was a long shot but better than nothing at all.

    This is where the trail goes cold. To this day I have heard nothing from her. I would of thought someone who Is about to give birth and the fathers where abouts is unknown. She would of been so great full that she could of at least thanked me.

    What annoys me is she’s wasted a couple of hours of my time and everyone else’s time who responded to her question.

    I sort of dont know what they get out of it really. NB// Simon if you want to track down this persons profile just PM me.

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad


    My suggestion to you is after you have your JW baby date a Scientologist...get yourself knocked-up by him. Give yourself a couple of years...check back with this forum & let us know how life is...your preference!

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