Filing for Divorce

by iiz2cool 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    I was married for 18 years and the same thing happened to me. We did not share the same beliefs and it seemed like I could not discuss anything with her without it being an argument. So when it was over I just walked away and never looked back. There was some tough times of readjusting but I have been single for 9 years now and am a lot happier. As far as the divorce is concerned, if you leave her now you will have to get a legal separation which will split up all your assists. So she may not be entitled to your share of your inheritance. You can get a no fault divorce after being separated for a year but talk to a lawyer and make sure it is all in writing.


  • tinkerbell82

    my parents' divorce was like WWIII. It was mom didnt get her name taken off the house mortgage and my dad stayed in the house but just didnt pay the rent or mortgage or anything, so my mom's credit was absolutely ruined...not to mention the fact that they both kept going to meetings and there were vicious rumours constantly being spread about the both of them...yuck. it was terrible.

    i'm glad you dont have kids.

  • unbeliever

    My mom was starting to make the divorce very difficult but she got a major chewing out from the judge for wasting the courts time. She left court crying. You would not believe how quick she wanted to settle.


    Hi there, WOW...I wasn't certain if you were actually going to ahead with this, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have some knowledge (legal) ahead of time.

    From what I have read thus far, some interesting bits of info have been offered, and of course, those who live in Canada, and specifically in the province of Ontario, have provided information that even I had no idea about.

    Well, I hope that things will work out either way, and that you will not lose anything as a result of either a legal seperation or divorce.

    Oh how I wish your wife would break free from the clutches of the JWs, but that may be awhile coming.

    Look after yourself, that's the most important thing.

    See you soon.

  • teejay

    Been through one divorce and, even though there was no love in it, it was still hard to go through. It's good that you don't have kids between you. I didn't either and it definitely makes the break a bit easier.

    Life is short and I wouldn't waste any more of the limited time I have here than to spend a second of it with someone who didn't give a flip about me. Get out now.

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    Please, please, please consult a divorce specialist attorney. Actually, consult the five best (divorce sharks) ones that are recommended in your area and pay the consultation fee. That way you knock them off your soon-to-be-ex-wife's list of possible representation, since to represent her would be conflict of interest (see I've learned something in my first year of law school). Every jurisdiction has its own laws concerning marital property, and if protecting your rights to that is important, then you must act first, and soon. From everything I have heard, whomever moves out of the marital home first is always at a slight disadvantage, so you may have to set up camp in a spare bedroom or on the couch. This is gonna suck, so hang in there, and stay strong, happy and healthy. Shoshana

  • bluesapphire

    Here's what happened to me so watch out:

    * He refused to move out of the house so I did. He didn't pay the mortgage after I left so he could live there rent free. He did so for six months. He never told me he wasn't paying the mortgage and by the time I found out it was too late and we lost the house.

    *He fought me for everything of any value. He kept the new refrigerator, washer and dryer, newer living room and bedroom furniture. After he got literally kicked out of the house he put it all in storage. He wouldn't even allow me to come and get my personal belongings such as school yearbooks, pictures, letters, etc. out of the garage. It all got put in storage under his name. He didn't pay the storage bill and they auctioned it all off. I lost everything.

    * He forged my name on credit offers (you know the unsolicited ones that come saying "you're pre-approved"). Then he charged up the cards to the tune of $30K

    * The credit cards that already existed in our names were divided equally in half per the settlement agreement. But the credit card companies refused to take my name off of the cards or to allow me to only pay my half in full. They said I was liable for the entire balance since he refused to pay his half. They could care less about any "settlement agreement."

    * The checking account was in both our names. Didn't think to close it. I just took my half and opened a new account. Well, they were both with B of A. When he bounced $7000 worth of checks, the bank took the money right out of my account. When I called and complained they said they were entitled since both accounts had my name on them. Big mistake!!! Make sure you CLOSE your account. Do not keep anything with both yours and her name on it.

    * We had agreed he would pay me child support and I wouldn't garnish his wages. He never paid. When I garnished his wages, he lost his job. To this day he owes me $120,000. If we had kept the house, I could sell it now and keep the entire profit. My loss.

    * We owned a time share free and clear. He refused to sign it over to me. I said we could share it and alternate years. The first half of the maintenance/tax installment I would pay, the second he would pay. I paid my half, he didn't pay his. It went on my credit report. I wasn't allowed to use it until he paid his half. He refused. I finally said okay then quit claim it to me. He said no. So I quit claimed it to him. He let it go.

    Sometimes a vindictive ex will do anything to spite you. Even to their own detriment. In my case he was/is a drug addict and could care less about things like credit, owning a home, child support, etc. So he was just out to hurt me any way he could. You never know when they're going to go berzerk. So take every precaution you can. Don't trust that things will go smoothly and that they'll be nice. There is no such thing in divorce.

  • pettygrudger

    ((((Walter)))) I know how difficult this decision was for you to make, and I'm sorry it has come to this for you. Hopefully this means there will be happier days ahead however.

    Bluesapphire - your story sounds much like my own, but to compound the problem, the attorney I had at the time (i was 22) told me to just file for bankruptcy to get out from under the huge debt he had ran up in the 2 years we had been separated.

    Walter, take all the advice here and listen!!! It can get really messy, and for some reason, from all the stories I've read here, JW women seem to be more than able at making sure they get more than "what's theirs".

  • Special K
    Special K


    WOW!! Look at all the people who have given you so much good information.

    I'm impressed with everyone of them...WOW!!!

    Divorce is never fun, even if it is the best thing for both concerned.

    One step at a time, izz2cool. .. one step at a time...

    Take care and my thoughts are with you as you proceed down this long and winding road.

    Special K

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