Im new to the site. 28 years old, over 10 in exile. This is my story

by Jayk 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Jayk
    Jayk

    It's bitter sweet to find a site like this..I was born in the truth. When I was 16 I given the option to stop going. Father and mothers family are both witnesses. My parents divored when my brother and I where young. Mostly in my mother's care, my dad was in and out of the picture for years till I was 16. In a extremember physical abuse case I was taken out of my mom's by CPS and went to live wit my dad. Slowly more and more of my family are starting to realise somethings not right with the truth. I have a aunt who rather her daughter go to school instead of pioneer/my aunt being a subservient wife now realizes she's completely reliant on my uncle and doesn't want that for my cousin. I've been disconnected from most my fam for over 10 years. So when I do hear about things like my aunt it gives me some faith in having a functional relationship with my family at some point. My dad's side still talks to me, my mom's side doesn't. The last few years have been rough, back in 2010 I got married, but then divorced, and it was pretty rough since. I thought about it the other day, how young and stupid I was to think my family would ever accept a worldly wife..after my divorce I went over 5 years without talking to any of my brothers or mom. Only recently have I reached out to them in the past year. My relationship is slowly getting better with them but it's still rough. My mom is another story. But any ways I'm really trying to keep it together but hasn't been easy. Glad I can come here and talk to people because really have no one to talk to that understands. I met a women I worked with and she is also a exjw almost my age. She has alot if social anxiety issues that I feel I have with with myself and how I feel im just a shell of a human with no real guidance or path of life...actually reading about the symptoms people go through leaving is what I've lived with for over 10 years. Thanks for listening hope you all are keeping your heads up. Like ozzy said "maybe, it's not to late, to learn how to love and forget how to hate" love and forgiveness is key to getting thru it.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Welcome, Jayk, to the board.

    Many of us are more than twice your age and understand what you are saying and feeling. We're all survivors and encourage you to stay here to receive the support that will get you through this.

    More later.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    When you are born in the "truth" it can be hard to find a direction to go in when you leave that part of your life behind. Harder when you are older, at least for me. It's nice you are still young, so hang in there!

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Hi Jayk, welcome to the forum. Social anxiety is common after leaving that cult because we weren't allowed to talk about anything much except da troof. We were never properly socialised from childhood, never taught how to mix with other kids so we knew how to do it as adults. Hang in there, it gets better.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Welcome!

    This is a safe place. Please feel free to share, and vent, and discuss things with us.

    Wishing you well in this journey

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Welcome Jayk, I'm sure you'll gain much by being here.

    Thanks to the internet, more and more people are discovering how putrid the WTBTS really is.

  • Onager
    Onager

    Welcome!

  • Phoebe
    Phoebe

    Welcome Jayk. You'll get so much love, support and compassion from people on here, so please keep posting.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Hey JAYK- Nice to have you here my friend. I was born and raised in the JW religion too from birth- finally escaped at age 44 over 14 years ago , been there, experienced the shunning as well from JW family still in. It's not easy . Just know that we care here, and you are among folks who know and understand what you've been through and experienced similar things. Hang in there, we're here for you as a support. Take care, any time you want to talk, just private message me and I'll share contact information with you. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    You should consider yourself as having gone through a traumatic event and may suffer from PTSD, just as anyone who has suffered a traumatic event, especially since you have family that continues to perpetrate the abuse. Give yourself permission to do whatever it takes to deal with this and move on.

    Not to criticize you, but referring to this sham of a religion as "the truth" tells me that you may be still internalizing some of the Watchtower ideology. These are loaded words that they use to keep people mentally enslaved. There is nothing about this religion that has anything to do with truth. I get it, old habits die hard, it took years for me to root out this mindset, but just be aware that is part of the reason it's so hard to break free

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