VOMIT Alert----Unconditional Love per a JW DB-----long (65 posts)

by blondie 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • berylblue

    I know, Blondie, precious, but it's so difficult.....parent myself???????????? I can't even forgive myself for one mistake I've ever made.

  • cat1759


    The thing about guilt is you can't change the things you feel guilty about because it is done and over with. The only thing we can do is go from here and now and make our decisions according to what is best for us.

    I have apologized and made amends to those that I hurt. The most I can do is apologize. I think sometimes that is all we can do. After my son was molested I had asked the molestor to just apologize to my son so he realizes that this behavoir was not right. That she was wrong for doing this to him. She refused and in refusing to apologize for her behavoir was stating that everything she did was just fine.

    Don't dwell in the past, look to the moment and enjoy each day. We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes, it is being able to pick ourselves back up and move from the mistakes and not let them affect our lives. Just another learning experience.


  • blondie

    Rosemarie, if life didn't give you good parents, then you show that love and support to yourself. Here are 2 books I am reading right now.


  • waiting

    I have those books. I've never read them....but I have them. Does that count?

    It takes practice to mother yourself - but it can be done. And Blondie's books (I am guessing) have some good strategies.

    Y'all take care -


  • Swan


    Thanks for recommending those books.


    The mother thinks that the ultimate sacrifice for Jehovah was ignoring her own flesh and blood. Look at me Jehovah, I gave her up, never to hug or kiss her again. Look what I did for you, in the words printed in your divine books....look at me, I gave it up for you! I deserve safe passage into the new system because I turned my back on my daughter. The one that loved you beyond words, the one that proclaimed to all she had faith. I did what you wanted Jehovah.

    This reminds me of the picture in the old Paradise book of the pagans who sacrificed their babies on the flaming idol. How are JWs any different from the pagans in that picture?

    What is wrong with the baby in that picture? Nothing. The fault is all with the parent. I hope you realize that it is your mother's defect that you are having to deal with and not your own. This is something that I am struggling to learn as well.


  • lisaBObeesa
    This reminds me of the picture in the old Paradise book of the pagans who sacrificed their babies on the flaming idol. How are JWs any different from the pagans in that picture?

    Wow. That is so true. Great point!

    I want to say, "Please, Jehovah, just let me have a little time with her before she dies." We can't do that , though, and not many people have compassion for it. Most people have a very tough stance about it. So, I go on and try not to think about it...

    Being a mom at the receiving end of the "shunning".......

    I see now that the jw way of dealing with an "uncomfortable" situation is to "stuff it" down inside them....don't deal with it at all...

    See ... if they shun you, they don't have to face their issues...

    Well, their "stuffing" their feelings will manifest itself in other ways.....my daughter is anorexic..... My son has anger issues, as in a violent temper...... with a submissive li'l jw wifey.... hmmmmm...

    Bottom line...."Suppression of emotions is unhealthy."


  • blondie


    What an insightful comment that resonates with me. Stuffing emotions is unhealthy and that is what JWs are conditioned to do. No wonder there are so many emotional illnesses and physical manifestations in the WTS.


  • waiting

    good point about "stuffing emotions down." Real jw's with problems who must look - and *be* happy - would have to do that. Most of us did that.

    I know this mother sounds terrible..........but she's also expressing her sorrow of what's she's given up for her peception of being faithful to Jehovah. She's tragically trying to tow the line. Like cutting off one's arm because it would prove your faithfulness. It might prove you're faithful - and it will prove you to be intentionally self-maimed for the rest of your life....but it doesn't prove you're right.

    I suspect she might think about her situation more than she lets on. It might not be enough to allow her love to surface, but it's just a shame. Her daughter's lost her mother........but the mother's given up so much too....for nothing.

    They're both victims of being entwined with a cult. Thankfully, the daughter left. Perhaps the mother will too?


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