Shunning: Extreme apathy!

by StephaneLaliberte 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • JaniceA

    Stephane, I'm sorry for everything in that experience. It's seems nightmarish. I'm glad you aren't putting up with that deal anymore. The people that truly love is don't make tragedies harder for us.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    scratchme1010: No kidding. I'm so sorry to hear that. How is it now?

    Well, though I have left the JWs, I am simply inactive. I guess that to make things easier on those of my family who are still in, I have decided not to go back to some of the people who hurt me bad and simply tell them how I felt. This, I find regrettable. Still, less regrettable than the hurt that would befall my "still in" if I had left in a blaze of glory.

    Because of this, I am not fully healed, otherwise, would I still hang around on a site like this?

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    Oh wow. There's a sister in my congregation who flew overseas to see her dying JW mother. This sister has a few siblings - two of whom were disfellowshipped over 20 years ago. Naturally, these long-disfellowshipped siblings were there to care for their dying mother also. This sister was completely okay to unite with her disfellowshipped brother and sister to help their mother on her death bed. HOWEVER, there was ONE sibling who is an active JW who REFUSED to even enter the house while her disfellowshipped brother and sister where there caring for their mom. She made a point of even telling the mother as she was dying, "you will NOT be in paradise for using your death as an excuse to associate with your disfellowshipped children. You are DISLOYAL to Jehovah." This self-righteous JW abandoned her mother on her deathbed because she said she was being "loyal to Jehovah."

    The sister from my cong was so horrified and even tried to reason with her own sister that Jesus instructed Christian children to care for their parents of old age and not to abandon their responsibilities. She tried to appeal to her JW sister that her siblings had been disfellowshipped for sins they were no longer committing, and over TWO DECADES ago. Certainly, the demise of their mother was worthy of at least having communication with them now? Her sister would have none of it and rebuked her dying mother with disgust. Also, NO Witnesses from the mother's congregation would visit the mother because they all heard that the disfellowshipped son and daughter were visiting. The mother died alone, without all her lifelong friends from her congregation and with one of her daughters missing. Only the two disfellowshipped siblings and the sister from my cong had enough humanity in them to overlook rigid policies during this tragedy.

    After the mother passed away, the sister from my cong received a visit from two elders - not to console her for her loss - but to COUNSEL HER for breaking "Jehovah's command" and associating with her disfellowshipped siblings after twenty years.

    You'd THINK this was the wake up call this sister needed. Sadly, it wasn't. She was "humbled" and eternally sorry to Jehovah, hopping her can overlook her "weakness" (read: natural affection). I was still attending meetings back when this had happened, but was on my way to being fully awake. I tried so hard to point out that her mother's demise was SULLIED by the WT. That her mother's last moments were tarished by the harshness of these cold, inhumane policies. And this poor sister just told me, "it's okay, because this life isn't really all there is. My mom is coming back in the paradise, and she won't even remember this. Neither will I! I just need to lean on Jehovah and he'll give me the strength to put this behind me."

    The very notion of dismissing reality as "not real" and putting all your eggs in a basket you can only access after you die is astonishing. This "leave it to Jehovah" attitude is in no way humble or virtuous.

    It's reckless.

  • Giordano

    In the JW life you are trained to live in a world that does not and will not exist.

  • pepperheart

    This is why i take as many jw books and mags that i can and trash them,if i can save just one person from having to go through this it will be worth

  • carla

    Pepperheart, yes, take the books and rags but do not dispose of them. Keep them or send them to an anti jw organization/ministry, etc... some jw's do not believe previous teachings and need to see the actual books & mags and even then they sometimes think some apostate made the offending old light rag just to trick them, real story, not for today though.

  • StephaneLaliberte

    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho: I have seen plenty of "loonies" in the JWs and usually do not hold the WT accountable to these. However, when elders act the way they did with this sister, they do, in fact, represent the Watchtower. People who find such actions to be inhumane will also dismiss these away as being the actions of a loose canon. However, these canons are empowered by the Watchtower's policies. Thus, WT is accountable for their actions.

  • Phoebe

    By their love you will know then. Not.

    These experiences are heart breaking but sadly, not rare. My DA nephew was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack (he was only in his early 30s) but his father wouldn't visit him in hospital. What if he'd died?

    Cold. Heartless. Evil.

    The more I hear, the happier I am I finally got out.

  • StephaneLaliberte
    Phoebe: father wouldn't visit him in hospital

    I'm horrified!

  • awake!watcher

    So sorry you went through this. When my grandmother was dying we went to the hospital to say goodbye. She was a JW who got baptized in her '80's. My mother is a dub, along with my brother who' s also an elder. I'm faded/inactive but not dfed. I have another brother who has been dfed for many years. My elder dub brother refused to acknowledge that my other brother was even there, let alone say anything to him. My dfed brother was very close to my grandma and was crying his eyes out and heartbroken that we were losing her. I was hugging him and comforting him while my dub brother was looking at me like i was the spawn of Satan. I was awake before, but this really reinforced my thinking that this is not a loving organization. I now have a wonderful relationship with my dfed brother, and if someone sees me spending time with him and want to report me, that would be fine.

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