May 1 2018 my Ayahuasca Experience
It has been over a year and a half since my last ceremony. Which was way to long.
My son came up from Scottsdale for the ceremony. We have done Ayahuasca together about six times. However the last time he did it was March 17, 2011, over seven years ago.
As they say. "When the student is ready the teacher arrives."
Since the medicine will give you what you need and not what, there is always a bit of excitement but also a disquiet concern for what will be coming your way.
There were fifteen of us there from all over the United States, one lady came from Australia. Most the people there were in their thirties and forties. Their were people there who had made this journey dozens of times before and a half dozen of first timers.
We were at a beautiful secluded home nestled among the red rocks. Everything was perfect for sure.
I had no way of knowing that within 12 hours my world would be turned upside down once again.
The answers my unconscious mind was looking for would soon be here.
We all took the medicine about 9:00 pm. It was one of the the mildest experiences I ever had with no purging.
There were many interesting feelings and thoughts. Then there was sleep also. I did get up and went outside to sit by a lovely camp fire. I ended up having a good conversation with the Shaman's assistant.
We talked about relationships. How that all of them seem to have expiration dates attached to them. Yes though we all want permanence, this can only be an illusion, because everything and everyone are constantly changing.
It the early morning light we all said our goodbyes and went are separate ways.
Later that day our landlord gave us our thirty day notice to vacate our home, since the house we were living in got sold. It is time for to us to move.
Since we had to move, that night the lady I have been with for four years felt it was time for us to separate also. This was coming for awhile but neither of us wanted to look at it. We had been moving in two different directions and were making each other miserable. We both still love each other deeply we just haven't been enjoying the experience. If your not having fun why be together?
Since we own a business together that relationship too would change and would be different in the future.
So yes what an amazing day.
I have just one thing left to do and that is bless everything that comes my way with no judgement.
Believing on some level that no matter how things might look on the outside that I will be exactly where I need to be.
One of the biggest epiphanies I had on Ayahausca was that control was the biggest illusion of them all.
It's all perfect
Great insights. Although I never have taken the sacrament with a shaman, as I would make up a nice big batch of the brew that I mostly did it alone. My girlfriend at the time said that afterwards I would always be more kinder and generous. The greatest benefits for me was an uncovering of my Shadow(Jungian) and reliving childhood trauma that happened between 1-5 years of age which tended to make me more peaceful as the days went on as I slowly integrated it.
I like turtles
I have a very hard time remembering any visions but I remember trying just to view them without any judgements as they would get in the way of adding ego mental outputs to what's happening. I remember re-experiencing a spankings I got from my father when I was one, two, and three, that colored my entire relationship with him till the day he died, which led me to feeling forgiveness for him and a deep sadness for him because of our never having a good relationship while living. Extending heartfelt forgiveness with and ending any malice I think is very therapeutic.
I think these personal visions help one to empty some of his shadow, owning our own evil and unrepressing one dark side leads to more wholeness because we are more in touch our real selves. It also unlocks talents we have tucked away in that shadow. This brew helped me to accept myself more and in turn other people.
I like turtles
Why do you like turtles so much?
Why do you like turtles so much?
Well, I like rocks.
It has been called medicine in all the practices I been involved with. Believe me when I say there is nothing fun or recreational about it use in anyway.
Perhaps some have not discerned the significance of "I like turtles". Essentially it is a kind way of saying I do not find the subject matter to be of any interest and I think its kind of stooopid. There, I said it. Sometimes though its a respectful way of saying its tooooo damn long. (More often than not this is the case.) This particular post seemed to glorify drugs and provide a great excuse to take them. It struck me as another cult but clearly a more fun version since you leave your head and call it a revelatory experience.
Yeah, "experience" and "experiment" ... fancy words for "I took some drugs and pretended it was mystical".