JRK- I feel you bro. Tomorrow on Wednesday will be one year exactly since my mom died. I had a dream about family last night, my son and my wife Mrs. Flipper and even trying to make peace with my brother in the dream. My intuition kind of felt like perhaps my mom assisted me in that dream . It's strange - I can't explain it. But you know, who knows ? As cheery and bubbly with a great sense of humor that your mom and my mom had- hopefully now they might be our guardian angels or whatever- looking out for us and guiding our moves. There are times since my mom died that although I never pray to an invisible " god " - I do pray occasionally to my mom , or dad when I feel I have a big decision to make or feel perplexed, or in danger. It could just be the little boy coming out in me at age 58, but you know what ? It helps. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. Perhaps it's crazy, but maybe it's not, who knows ? None of us really know. I've had enough paranormal experiences with what I consider deceased friends though that are unexplainable- I lean towards their invisible energy still being with us. I hope so, that would be comforting. I've got mom and dad's ashes in our dining room in a box. I occasionally say to them " what's up " ? lol.
Like yourself I lost many good friends through the years - lost a good buddy back in the early 80's to Hodgkins disease when he was 18. Another good buddy died at age 46 in 1983 of a car accident. Another close friend whose teenage kids were close to my kids like family died in 2003 at age 56 of an accidental overdose. Lost a good friend and worker aged 49 years old , a man of a heart attack in 2008 and another 34 year old mother who worked for me in 2013 of a heart valve problem. Then my parents this last year. Seems like it never ends.
But hey buddy, you and I are still standing , we are still here to carry on and put within us ALL those things these different people were to us, and what they meant to us. Sometimes when I close my eyes and run through the faces of all these people I loved so much - I pause and think for a moment the gift they put inside my head and heart. And I can see bits and pieces of my good friends come inside me- and I have actually BECOME them. This persons sense of humor, that persons wit, this persons caring spirit and ways, that persons honor and justice. And then I finally GET it. At least to me it makes sense then WHY these people were in my life for awhile to help me to become the person that I cherish and am comfortable with. And the wheel of life at least for me, starts making a lot more sense.
I remember seeing in a movie one time, can't remember the actor who said, " Really, isn't life really just lots of little bits of time and moments we string along and put together ? Trying to cherish those times , seasons, and memories with our loved ones ? " One reason I'm a big collector of photo albums. Family, friends, apostafest, you name it, it means so much to me. Just a few thoughts for you my dear friend as you start your day. Just sharing what helps me get through life. Love ya bro, take care, will talk soon, Peace out, Flipper