1 Step Forward and 3 Steps Back: Trying to Get My Mom to See 'The Light' (Oh the Irony!)

by Sorry 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sorry

    Recently, my mother's been hounding me to do personal study (I think she's slowly realizing I'm becoming disillusioned with the organization and is trying to reign me back in). I don't know what made me do this, but I decided to test the waters by challenging 'new light'. She asked me what I learned in personal study, so I brought up organ transplants and the WT flip floppy stance on them (thanks JWFacts!). I had the pages lined up and highlighted. As we all know, GB praised them in the 50s, outlawed them in the 70s and called it a 'conscience' matter in the 80s (code for they're okay now). My mother, on cue, said "the light gets brighter". Then I brought up the fact the WT has said before "old light should never contradict old light." I told her that reversing a doctrine only to go back to your original stance is contradicting "old light".

    The amazing thing is she pointedly ignores my last statement and goes on about how it wouldn't have been changed if Jehovah didn't see fit. The GB isn't perfect. The apostles weren't perfect themselves. Then I said that while the apostles were far from perfect, they never had to change their teachings because they were right. At this point, my entire family gets involved and my father rants that "Jehovah knows all, we lowly humans can't comprehend everything. If he revealed everything to us, we couldn't handle it." Then my sister jumps in and says "We don't have a collection plate every Sunday, we actually hold our members accountable instead unlike churches that let everyone get away with it and we're very close-knit. That's proof this is the true religion! So what if the GB gets it wrong every now and than. Theyre humans!" My mother became the most defensive, "Why question Jehovah? That's exactly what Satan and Eve did, look what happened. He sacrificed his son for us, we don't deserve his kindness." At this point I just get quiet before they can accused me of being an apostate.

    My mother hasn't asked me about 'personal study since (this was about a week ago). However, this is why I hate bringing things like this up to them. I usually end up feeling like I'm the crazy one.

  • ToesUp
    Your not the crazy one. Your explanation was on point. They are blinded by a cult mentality and believing big J is behind their teachings. I have a family full of loyal ones too, It is amazing to see them defend imperfect men. Then a few minutes later, gosiping about the ones in the congregation they can not stand.
  • evilApostate

    The new light doctrine is a small drop in an ocean of stupid doctrines which you can question. For example, what about the overlapping generation doctrine? Pure stupidity!

    Anyway, you can point to 2 Timothy 3:7 which states that in the last days men will be "always learning but never coming to a knowledge of truth." Watchtower always dispenses new insight, new light or new knowledge and yet none of their doctrines/predictions ever hold true. It's always nice to use their own scripture against them.

    Watchtower has never predicted anything fully or even partially. Don't let them mention 1914 to you because Armageddon didn't come as they said it would and they also guessed many dates before. Not to mention the fact that 1914 is based on 607 BCE which is not when Jerusalem was destroyed.

    Another scripture which speaks out againt them is Deuteronomy 18:22. It essentially states that a prophet who makes a false prediction was not sent by god. And yes, Watchtower refered to the anointed higherups as the two witnesses/prophets of Revelation; so the scripture surely applies to them.

  • tiki

    The only defense they can muster is the imperfection card...and then the we could not handle The whole thing....well how does that apply to flip flops...if its one thing in 1950, another in 1960, then in 1970 reverts to 1950...so in the 60s you couldn't handle what you could in the 50s so then in the 70s you were over your weakminded 60s and ....ohhhh....forget it. They make no sense whatsoever.

  • scratchme1010

    It's not easy to hold the unpopular opinion. But something that I could suggest if this happens again is to just remove yourself from a situation like that (if it happens again).

    First, it's difficult having your entire family ganged up on you for your difference in believes. Trust me I lived that s-it all my life with my effed-up JW family. Not once I saw anything good coming out of a situation like that, and chances are that it's very difficult to deal with it, especially since those are people you live with every day. Handle them all at once like I did at some point, but only when I was in a position of complete independence from them. Some family members just don't drop it, so avoid that situation; it's not going to bear anything positive.

    Also, please consider what seems to be the thing people in this forum tend to forget about the most: their feelings. Forget about doctrine, forget about the new light nonsense, forget about them changing their minds and wanting to be right all the time about everything. Think about them all, collectively, as a family, having to admit that you are right, and that the organization they rely on and trust is just top notch BS. Under those circumstances, admitting that you are right, or having some kind of awakening is just not going to happen. It's not productive at all under those circumstances, especially if you pay attention at what they feel, and the emotions that are implied with them all being wrong for so long about so many things, after making so many important life decisions around it. It's not just about what the WT teaches. It's also about how they are told by them how they are supposed to feel about themselves and the world around them. That is the fundamental cause of the cognitive dissonance that you saw happening (your sister jumping in to tell you how that organization is "the true religion" out of something completely unrelated to what you were discussing). Their feelings, not their knowledge, is what causes them to do that.

    Second, I think that you yourself are in a place where you need to take care of you, and only you. I think that you should prioritize in what you are learning, but also in what you are feeling. As clear as you see it, and as full of s-it that the WT teachings are, I think that you may need some time yourself to deal with your own relationship with the WT and how your awakening impacts you, your life, and consequently, your relationship with your family.

    There are a number of emotional battles ahead if you want to remain a JW (for now) at the same time that you realize all the BS that they try to shove down your throat. That should have priority over trying to make them see the light. In this instance you were shamed, shut down and made feel as if you are doing something wrong, which you are not. And the fact that they were the ones ending the conversation reinforces their feeling right and superior. In their minds they "won". Take care of yourself first.

    Third, you do not need to bring the subject up yourself. You can move on and flip the story from "I have to show you how full of --it the WT teachings are", to "I'm moving on and if you want to know why, ask me, but don't bother me with your JW nonsense". The first story sets you of to be victimized by their JW attacks. The second give you the control over your new believes, and to the fact that you really believe what you believe and there's no need to prove it to them. They will react a lot better (for you) to the second story than to the first one. Once they see that you mean business, they may attempt all kinds of passive/aggressive moves, but eventually will see that you mean business and leave you along. Then is when they might become interested in what you have to say.

  • notalone

    Dear, no need to be Sorry, if you would like to get your family thinking,this is something that helped my family. Be preemptive about your 'need for personal study'. My husband began to read the interlinear and look up the meaning of the Hebrew and Greek and how they are translated. He looked up the parasia and syntelia and shared what he was learning. This spurred me on I researched all the different words translated as sin. we also hit the beorean pickets site. We refereed to old magazines pre 1990's and the interlinear and Strong's concordance. We brought out things that were deep and just slightly off, not outright wrong. Most people just smiled and ignored us, witnesses really don't like to study, but a few were impressed and really enjoyed what we wee saying. These will often come too us if they are having difficulty understanding some new teaching.We direct them to scriptures but don't give them the answers. This is a slow process but in the end, they will decide what to believe.

  • Spiral

    Hi Sorry,

    First, don't be sorry. You're on the right track. You are not the crazy one.

    Second, your mom wanted you to do "personal study". As NotAlone mentioned, witnesses (these days) really don't like to study, and they really don't know what it means. What your mother really meant was, read the latest magazine over and over again until you are brainwashed. She doesn't see that (unlike earlier decades, pre-1980, when the JWs really did take pride in study) they've all been dumbed-down to the point that they can't really think and reason at all. That's where the mantra "listen, obey, and be blessed" comes from. There's no studying necessary for that.

    So, I say keep studying and bringing up questions (go carefully as your situation warrants, they can only take a little bit at a time) if you are asked about it. My thought is that your family will stop asking you about your personal study, as they'll see that it brings up more questions than answers.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    I feel that your situation is a prime reason why the org is pushing their latest propaganda - "the G.B. is not inspired - they're imperfect men who have admitted their errors in the past and have updated the "truth" when Jehovah revealed it to them."

    This drivel is what J.W.'s are being fed as "spiritual food from the slave" in order to fend off the ever-increasing exposure of the org's anti-scriptural teachings.

    Be prepared to hear it being parroted by a Witness near you.

  • HereIgo

    It is funny how your family and most jw's appreciate the fact that people who sin are "held accountable". My family also thinks this way. The question is, who is going to hold the GB accountable for their many flip flops??? " they are imperfect men". I cant tell you how many times I have heard that excuse. Why do they get a pass for being imperfect when EVERYONE on this earth is imperfect? how is imperfection a valid excuse to be a false prophet? You are on the right track, just continue to observe them and build a case. I am sure your family will realize your points eventually. My mother is also a die hard jw and every time she pressured me into telling her how I feel about the org, during the convo, she would say she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. This made me realize my points were hitting a nerve. My advice would be to keep it simple and bring out things like the Australian royal commission etc, it would be interesting to see how they justify that. Good luck

  • smiddy

    Welcome to the forum Sorry , It`s not just your mom ,also your father and sister who are blindsided by JW doctrine ,I feel for you Bro, it must be hard when they bury their head in the sand and cant see reason.

    However you need to keep your sanity about all this , you cant change them with reason or logic , they have to come to this realisation in their own time,

    You can just drop little gems of "truth" now and them for them to ponder over , and I say again , you cant change them ,so dont bang your head against a wall

    Its a slow process waking someone up to the TTATT

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