My dad died of a blood clot as a result of surgery late last year. To say that his death created a bottomless void in our family is an understatement. I think about him every day, sometimes constantly. He was a faithful dub, but he would do anything for anybody. In fact, a few days before his surgery, he asked a relative to drop her car off so he could work on it. This was a man who never thought about himself and always thought about everyone else. He was the patriarch, the go-to guy in our large family, a great man.
This past weekend, we moved some items out of the house that he and my mom shared for over 40 years, the house that I grew up in. We are going to sell it later this year and my mom is going to move. Everything in that house reminds me of him and it was tough to see the house virtually empty.
My dad was only in his early 70s and got this surgery to extend his life, not contribute to cutting it short. According to our family attorney, no malpractice was done. It was just one of those things.
I have not gotten over it and do not know that I will. I do not believe in “dubism” anymore. His unexpected death confirmed for me that if (and I do mean if) there is a higher power, he/she/it simply does not care about us.
Knowing this, how does one cope with the sudden and unexpected loss of a parent or loved one?