my story...

by Nikki collins 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2

    Thanks for posting, we all deserve to be happy. Look after yourself and become your own parent, I know it even at 55. Self love is so important. If you can do anything to advance your career to become more independent do so.

    Build your own authentic life going forward.

    Best wishes !

  • lancegalahadx


    I thought my life growing up sucked...

    All I can say is I hope you can finally have peace, and eventually happiness...

  • minimus

    Nikki, thanks for your experience. Don’t feel too bad about your background or your future. It’s pretty typical actually. That’s why we can easily relate.👍

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Thanks for sharing your story. I hope it helped you to write it down and get instead of having it rattling around in your head.

    I know you couldn't fill in all the details but in view of what you did provide, tne thing I noticed is that you seem to have bounced from one circumstance to another and gotten involved with people and obligations etc quite quickly rather than having a period of time where you were settled and your life was stable and you had peace.

    You are in the middle of a divorce, have just moved, lost your family, been disfellowshipped and I imagine you've likely changed jobs as well. Do you think it might be wise to set aside a year to be just you on your own where you can sort out who you are and where you want to go from here before getting anyone else involved?

    I know when you're feeling that you've wasted your life and you're lonely it would be tempting to want to make up for lost time by trying to straighten things out quickly and or run back to the familiar by taking up with your old boyfriend. It seems to me you'd be better off not to fall into your old pattern by keeping your life simple and avoided getting involved with someone else until you're sure you are making decisions that will be good for the long haul rather than fill the void in the moment. You don't want to be in this same position again in a few years.

  • VIII

    Thank you for sharing your story Nikki. You've had quite a journey to getting out. Good luck.

  • niknak

    Thank you for sharing your story. It is one that I am familiar with. You are not alone. Just don't let the religion steal you away from God. Continue to read the Bible daily. But not the JW bible. I have read from many different bibles. NKJV is one that I find pretty easy to read. But you can pick whichever. Once you gain a personal relationship with Jesus, you will be lead into the right direction and the things you once found so important will be less of a priority because Your individual salvation is the goal. The voids you once felt will finally be filled. You will be happy and make others happy just by the way you carry yourself. You will bring hope to many who are lost cause your testimony is strong. Stay focused on Jesus.

    May God bless and direct your steps always!

  • neverendingjourney

    Congrats on being free from the control.

    Making the transition as an adult is going to be painful. I went through it 13 years ago, but to paraphrase the Shawshank Redemption, we crawl through 500 yards of shit and come out clean on the other end.

    Don't give up hope!

  • Finkelstein

    Kind of a sad unfortunate story Nikki , I think your mother was going through difficult times and that's why she eventually connected to the JWS.

    Its not surprising when ex-JWs state what they think is the most harmful doctrinal policy established by this religious organization is the shunning DFing .

    This has indirectly caused millions of families to break apart , marriages to dissolve and a few suicides as well.

    Here's the stupid part of this social behavior which is ironically redundant and may create more problems latter on..

    If a person is behaving in a harmful immoral way and its brought to attention to the elders of the congregation and they disfellowship that person, the DFing effectively stops all communication and contact from concerned ones , such as family and close friends.

    ie cant help someone if you cant talk and communicate to that person.

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away
    You cant help someone if you cant talk and communicate to that person-- Finkelstein

    ^^ This

  • OnTheWayOut

    Nikki, that is a compact story- WOW! I mean, it seems like you said your whole life in a few long paragraphs.
    I hope that sharing it has helped you.

    I am going to recommend that you start a healing process. Currently, some of the very best books for self-therapy (which is free except for the cost of the books) can be found in the writings of Bonnie Zieman- a former JW turned therapist.

    Start here-

    Beyond that, I must say you need to be careful with using real names, regardless of the fact that you are never going back.

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