Finding out that jws are not what they make out to be

by nomorepain13 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nomorepain13
    nomorepain13

    *warning this is long* It all started on the last day of the "Remain loyal to jehovah" convention. A little background story, I've been raised as a jw, been in and out of the religon, never baptised but was made an unbaptized publisher about 3 years ago, always felt out of place in the congregation, blamed myself for this because if I had just went to meetings and did all the right things then I would have friends and not be in the mess that I was. Right after becoming an unbaptized publisher I met my now fiance, end up leaving my mother's house to live with him, elders haven't contacted me about my situation even though I'm sure they know as my step father is an elder...but anyway on the laSt day of the convention my fiance came with me as I was visiting my mother and had planned to go with her and her husband to the convention. Everything was going fine until the afternoon. My fiance was a bit disturbed at the video where the woman let her Co workers influence her on the situation with her husband. I was adamant that the witnesses were just trying to tell people about the dangers of how non witnesses can affect your way of thinking because they're unbelievers but he said that any grown adult would of not acted that way unless they were gullible. I pushed it away and just thought it was his wordly way of thinking. Then I saw how jw were acting towards him. My fiance has a distinctive look about him, lots of tattoos, shaved head, and is the most loving man I've ever met. The jws were giving him such disgusting looks as if he shouldn't be there,the type of looks that he gets all the time when he's coming to and fro from work from non jws. That really pissed me off and unsettled me to the point where i burst out crying...this happened at lunch break, my fiance needed to go to the bathroom as the convention was going to start so I asked him if he wanted me to wait for him and he said no I should go and sit back down cuz he knew I wanted to listen(I didnt want to at this point because I could only think about how the jws were treating him but I just went back to sit down anyway) I go sit down and then start to get a little bit worried as my fiance is taking a bit of while but I just say to myself that Im just being paranoid. My fiance finally returns and says to me in a jokey way "just been asked 21 questons as to why I'm here" I thought he was joking but when I saw he was being serious my mouth fell wide open and I was in such an amount of shock. Turns out before my fiance could even walk into the hall an attendant ask him does he know what is happening at this hall..my fiance said yes and the attendant asked him if he has a seat and he said yes, as he thought the conversation was finished he started to walk off but the attendant put his hand in front of my fiance and then 3 more attendants surrounded him and he had to explain himself all over again! Oh yeah and in the morning we were walking around before the program started and an attendant rudely said to him "are you ok" while looking at him suspiciously. So much for a loving, king organizat ion! After the convention I told my fiance to show me who the attendant is so that I can have some "kind" words with him about his behaviour, my fiance showed me who the guy was but told me to just leave it so I did. That night I returned to this website and looked through all the child abuse cases, I watched the royal commision video and was in a state of shock/disbelief, I felt sick to my stomach. I realised that my fiance was right. If someone at my work place had told me to react to my fiance in way that the women did in the convention video, no matter how close to that person I was if I didn't agree with what they said I would hold my stance on my opinion and not let them influence me because I am responsible for my own BEHAVIOUR and I'm the only person who can chose who I let into my mind, no one else. I saw a picture of a child that is in the same congregation as my mother in her bookcase and remembered that she told me that the sister of that child gave my mum that picture and my mum and that sister aren't even close...I kept on thinking what if my step father was a pedo?? He could be doing goodness knows what to himself over a picture of that child :/ The sister just kindly gave a sister a picture of her child and didn't even think to herself oh maybe this is a bit weird as I don't know her that well. ..jws are way too trusting with people who they hardly know, I'm not surprised that there are so many cases of child abuse. Even writing this now I feel sick. I still believe in jehovah but I seriously think that there are huge mistakes in that religion that need to be changed but I know it will never happen...i am trying to learn all I can about the religion and it's false teachings so if anyone would like to tell me anything then please message me as long as you have evidence. I really do need extra support as this has affected me in so many ways, my fiance is trying to help but can only do so much and i thinj someone who is in a similar situstion would be a great help to me, dont care if your fading or disfellowshiped or still a jw...Any stories similar to mine would be kindly appreciated also. Thank you for taking the time out to read my brief story.

  • Divergent
    Divergent

    nomorepain13:

    i am trying to learn all I can about the religion and it's false teachings

    Some good places to start:

    www.jwfacts.com

    www.jwsurvey.org

    www.watchtowerdocuments.org

    www.reddit.com/r/exjw

    Welcome to the forum!

  • Londo111
    Londo111

    Welcome!

    And congrats for starting to see the organization through open eyes.

    You might also want to read Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan.

  • steve2
    steve2

    welcome nomorepain13. It really hurts when we see firsthand that this so-called loving organization is anything but. The constant judging and poking noses into other people's private lives is insufferable - and the JWs genuinely believe they are "only" showing concern and interest. Talk about delusional. Almost the entire emphasis is on appearances - if you dress they way they approve of, you will be greeted with open arms and made welcome - but if you are in any way different, you will be subjected to reserved and doubting behaviors about your looks.

    What was it Jesus said about even nonbelievers show love to one another so he wanted his followers to show love to others beyond their immediate group. JWs love is super conditional. Comply with all their directions and you'll have no problems. Be different in any way and the walls will go up.

    This sort of behaviour is little short of cultish. Their own behaviors expose them as hypocrites - and it is not only a recent "trend" - it has been evident especially since the 1920s when Rutherford took control of the organization and overtime it has taken great pains to "airbrush" their beliefs and practices so that the unsuspecting would consider JWs to be the most united and loving group in the world - a delusion if ever there was one.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Your sense of shock and your fiance are probably the best things to happen to you in a while.

    The Society and the Elders are about obedience first. If there's any love it seldom shows up.

    They have elevated grooming standards and many other non religious issues into their corporate religion. They started as a publishing house that wrote about religion then became a real estate holding company.

    Since your living with your fiance your unbaptized publisher standing will be out the window. Which is fine because knocking on doors and counting time is not a bible standard.

    You can believe in a god and his son totally without the help of the WTBTS.

    A lot of folks stop taking crap from these people and move on with their lives.

    jwfacts.com has all of the evidence you could ask for. Most of it documented in the Societies publications.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    The way your fiancé was treated should be enough for you to understand that the JW religion is nothing like what the character Jesus was teaching. If you fiancé is as great of a guy as you say he is then be with him, be loyal to him and tell him your done with the Cult of Jehovah Witnesses. You only live once, don't waste time.

  • ScenicViewer
    ScenicViewer

    nomorepain13: Finding out that jws are not what they make out to be

    Not only is the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses not everything it pretends to be, it is absolutely nothing it pretends to be.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    You just reached the point of no return. Be happy! You will still be shocked, angry, disappointed, sad. But things will get better soon after. Welcome to freedom!

    Read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, a man who was totally the opposite of the leaders of the Watchtower

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Trust your instincts, you are asking all the right questions.

    What did it for me was the fact that the Watchtower has predicted the end of the world many times, always incorrectly, but still act as if they possess special knowledge about the end and still pretend that Armageddon is just around the corner.

    I was told as a young person in 1969 that I would never have time for a career in this system. This was in the Awake, not some individual. I am 61 and they still tell people not to go to college because the end is so close. What's worse, they pretend they never said 1897, 1914, 1925 and 1975 would be the end of the world. That is the very definition of a false prophet.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    The dubs can be so judging of a person before they even know the whole story. They claim they aren't but they are the most judgemental people I have come across.

    You are right that the average Dub is very gullible and take people at face value when it comes to dealing with wordly people. I learned this the hard way when I left and went on my own.

    What did it for me was the fact that the Watchtower has predicted the end of the world many times, always incorrectly, but still act as if they possess special knowledge about the end and still pretend that Armageddon is just around the corner.

    Not only that the WT did not even have the decency to admit they mislead the rank and file after 1975 but blamed it all on some overzealous dubs. For anyone that came in to the organization or was born after 1975 don't understand this. I was there and seen it first hand. That was the beginning of the end for me.



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