What was your trigger to waking up ?

by CovertsadJW 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • finallysomepride

    My first awakening was when I was in my early teens, sitting in a public talk given by my uncle, it was about the GB/144K being the only channel to god, question popped into my head, how do they know? what makes them believe that they could ever be the only ones? arrogant was a word in my head that would not go away.

    That lead to me to not ever wanting to make any advancement, only ever gave token service, most 2 hours a month, missed as many meetings as I could, never answered in meetings.

    And yet I thought there was some truth there & I also thought in the back of my mind if there was a true religion it would be the borg.

    I stopped attending completely in 2002 in my early/mid 40s, and yet I was not fully awake until 2009 when I had some personal issues that made me think I should return (all of 5 seconds) but I considered why am I thinking this way? that made me do a google search that bought me here & silent lambs, this was my true awakening that put any thought of returning & that they jws are a straight out cult.


    As a born in I went along with things for quite a while. I mean, how many children even care what’s going on at the meetings? I just snuck whatever toys I could in and fell asleep most of the time. It was just part of life.

    I got married really young and realized that I was in no way prepared for the real world. Still I soldiered on. As my critical thinking skills, which are natural, started to surface, I began to notice many, many inconsistencies.

    I also began to notice hypocrisy and nepotism, and legalism.

    Finally, the 1995 generation change ..... I knew they were getting “nu-lite” because they had no choice. They were moving the goal posts, plain and simple.

    As others have said, the more my critical thinking skills were allowed to develop, by my choice, the more unbearable and boring the J dub treadmill became. Finally, for my own sanity, I had to jump off the hamster wheel.

    I’ve lost a lot in my search for answers and intellectual, and emotional freedom, including my entire family. Even so, an enormous weight has been lifted. I went through hell, and it’s not over yet. The prospect of saving my child from the morons of the Watchtower helps me to cope when things get rough.


  • Brokeback Watchtower
    Brokeback Watchtower

    I was sucked in while still a teenager. My budies try to warn me but I wouldn't listen. The change in the generations back before the 1990's started me on my way out but it would take another 10+ year before I finally put it all together and got out.

  • flipper

    Injustices committed by elders towards others and myself as they were putting their personal opinions out to others as counsel to be followed in spite of that counsel being damaging and absolute shit. It woke me the hell up that these guys had no more holy spirit than Adolf Hitler or Charles Manson did. In fact- it made me feel that I was a hell of a lot more " righteous " than the Governing Body. In time I've been proven right

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Injustice for me too and not just one.

    I was counselled by an elder to only offer bible studies to the sub Saharan refugees as offering more (food and clothing) could bring them into the truth for the wrong reasons. My daughter's and I used to sneak out under cover of darkness and take them stuff.

    Buying a business from an elder and his wife and discovering they paid no tax in 10 years on the business or car and employed illegal immigrants off the cards.

    A new KH bought over 60kms (round trip) from the original hall and majority of us having to travel further. All the elders bought (We had 3) brand new cheap property in a northern town and wanted the KH nearer leaving the rest of us to travel an hour away to meetings instead of 10 minutes. An elder from another congregation told me they falsified the figures to get bethel approval.

    My daughter was 2 when they knocked on my door telling me she probably wouldnt start school. Shes a grandmother now.

    Restudying the revelation book that had to be "updated".

    The days text one morning was Expectation postponed was making the heart sick. I was sick of waiting and ventured on to my first apostate site. That was 2008. I went to my last meeting memorial 2009.

    The refugee situation hurt me so bad I saw the religion in a new light and I started missing meetings. I became ill and was hospitalised and even tho most now had to pass my house to get to meetings (not the elders tho) none had time to call for coffee and entrusted my worldly neighbours to cook and administer my meds. Where was the love? Moved countries and faded.

    Unsuspecting witnesses at the door have no idea like yesterday and I mentioned shunning. They denied they shun. I asked them.if they lied. They said no of course not so I said when someone is announced as no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses you speak to them just the same as you did before the announcement then. They walked away.

  • Xanthippe
    then I realized I have been threatened with death my whole life - My dads thought - well don’t let your emetions control you.

    Typical mind-control comment that your dad's learned from the cult. You complain about emotional blackmail and he says stop being emotional. They've trained him well.

    It was a slow drip of things for me too with the religion. My husband's old pioneer partner admitting fornication then being fast-tracked to being an elder. My brother-in-law being removed as an elder for stealing, moving away then being made an elder again in about a year. Being told not to study just the Bible with people. The lack of love.The shunning of people congregation member just didn't like. The hatred of science, etc.

  • Phizzy

    I cannot identify a single "trigger" on its own, questions assailed me for years, and I either applied the standard JW answer to them, or pushed them on to the backburner.

    The important one though for me was a "question for readers" or whatever it was called in the September 2007 (? date?) Kingdom ministry which said you should do no research and the GB would do your thinking for you.

    I loudly said to Mrs Phizzy in the K.H " Nobody does my thinking for me !" , she told me to " Shhh". But this obvious blatant control allowed me to let myself go on the Internet, and eventually find this Site.

    I found sufficient info. to spur me on to leave a few months later. In the course of that research I had to face up to the fact that I had let others, mainly the JW Org, do my thinking for me, for decades. It was humbling.

  • MrHappy

    Two things woke me up.

    1. The Kingdom Ministry insert about blood fractions, which was around 2002 I think. This opened up so many issues for me about the blood policy particularly as I served in helping on the patient support team of the HLC.

    2. The Panorama TV program about child abuse handling and my family experience and later dealings as an elder.

    My waking up was the most painful experience of my life and the pain still arises. I am most grateful for the internet and early brave individuals who helped to provide information.

    The most useful book I read, early on, to help me get answers and some structure was The Crisis Of Conscience.

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated

    I read the bible and saw how it compared to other texts from the ancient world. I couldn't figure out what to do if Genesis was myth so I decided to check and see if there was actually 100% proof of evolution. Ervs and Chromosome 2 were all that was needed.

  • mentalclarity

    My experience is very similar to Magnum's experience. It was a combination of many things. Crazy as this sounds now....I actually wondered why we went door to door witnessing when it was obviously so ineffective. If this was the most important work on earth, why weren't we putting some more effort and instead just doing this busywork?

    I'd always had gnawing doubts about JW history but when we studied the Revelation and Daniel books....that was just insane - I didn't understand/believe any of it, yet I still continued because it was all I knew and it was familiar and comfortable.

    But I guess what really cinched the deal was realizing that people who were non jw's were more stable mentally and emotionally and had fewer issues than those inside. I'd always been taught we were so "special" and then when talking to non JW's I realized we were actually a bunch of wackos. I came to realize this religion attracted people who were coming from a damaged place or were easily manipulated because of their lack of education and critical thinking skills. And the amount of unloving/crazy behavior in the hall. Outside the hall, that behavior made no sense. If you had good intentions and actually wanted to help someone, there were all these obstacles. Would it stumble someone? What did the literature say on the matter? What does elder so and so say about it? By the time you got the answers to all that, you didn't even want to help the person anymore.

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