UPDATE: Fanatical Mom wants to report me

by Scarlett_Martin 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Scarlett_Martin

    *** UPDATE 2020/11/21 ****

    Hello people,

    Some time ago I made my first on this forum after I have just woken up.

    I was very scared and honestly I am still amazed from the fact that I am still getting replies in the old thread.

    Here is the link to my previous thread: link

    First thing's first I would like to begin this update with a great word of acknowledgement to each and every one of you that provided me support upon the beginning of this stressfull period in my life. To each and every one of you: Thank you

    I would like to begin by saying that my mother reported my situation to one of the "lesser" elders. By lesser I mean to describe this guy as a complete tool that got the privilege of having a power position over indoctrinated people. Like, I am by no means exagerating... the guy is a complete tool and a very laughable man.

    I am completely aware that by now all the elders now know of my situation and that I have been 100% marked.

    The first phone call

    This elder whom my mother has talked with called one morning and made me the usual routine questions: "do I still believe in Jehovah?", "Do I still view the GB as the faithful and discreet slave?", yada yada yada.

    I answered positively to all his questions even though I was lying just as damage control.

    I shouldn't have taken the call because he tapped into my fear instincts and reccomended me to watch this video.

    His whole premise is that this video displays very inteligent people such as a psychologist/theologist, a guy that used to study in a seminar, etc...

    Watching this video made me question whether this organization really had the truth and maybe that I was being lied to by apostate material I have read online, because... it wouldn't be possible for inteligent people to join this organization knowing that it wasn't the truth right?

    Wrong! After some days I realized that that video doesn't tell the whole story, that most likely those experiences are fabricated or deeply exagerated and that is the usual WT$ propaganda video to strengthen their followers indoctrination or attempt to recruit poor souls.


    Since this phone call I ceased to attend meetings. I still attend to some, here and there, just to make my mother happy. But the truth is, I cannot not see the meetings for what they are now: "Weekly indoctrination sessions where the same talking-points are repeated over, and over, and over... *sigh*... and over again, just to strike fear into our hearts and making the congregation stand in line, like the sheep we all are (or were )".

    As of this update I have ceased to attend the meetings but of course there have been some repercussions.

    Relationship with my mother

    My relationship with my mother is really bad now. All we do is engage in hateful discussions with one another and she ends up crying because she really believes that I am getting destroyed in Armaggedon. Whilst I feel pity for her, because she has been indoctrinated, I cannot stand this shit anymore. I am a female in my mid 20s and I want to finally live my live for what it is while I am still young. Altough I don't want to lose my mother, even though I probably will which makes me very sad.

    My father is completely on her side and I feel lost. I live under their ceiling. I have a job, but I do not feel that I can live on my own in a new home because the organization has destroyed my confidence and put me down for 20+ years.

    I don't plan on sticking in this wretched cult anymore, my home environment is really, really dark at the moment, I feel alone, and this makes me very stressful. I haven't slept for weeks. In the future I plan on leaving my parent's home and cutting every tie with the religion. I don't think my parents have the nerve to shun me because I have been a very good daughter to them. In the near future I plan on getting psycological help and counseling.

    My job

    One thing that is bad, is that whilst my job pays good, I am stuck with a super fanatical jw from my congregation whom I was friends with and I cannot stand that person anymore. I fucking hate that person which is making me to consider to leave my job to one farther away. Whilst this would be a good thing, I hate driving. I think that person should be the one having a problem with me and not the other way around, but I feel like I don't want to stand around that jw anymore, because I plan on cutting ties to this religion in the near future. I still am figuring out what to do with regard to my job.

    The second phone call

    After some weeks, that complete tool of an elder called again. This time I had already consume tons, like literally, tons of apostate material. The more I read the more I was convinced the WT$ doesn't have the truth, and never had. The more I knew it was just a very destructive cult and this gave me more confidence. I realized that the WT$ are just like those crazy people on the street with cardboard signs, saying the end is nigh, yet just wearing a suit and tie because it makes them more credible. This also made me see that the elders don't have any power over me. The conversation went as follows:

    • He said he wanted to talk.
    • I said, you want to talk? Let's talk them
    • We spent hours on the phone
    • He couldn't give me any answer to my questions about the WT$ lies in many subjects but "this are the way things are"
    • At one point he tried to convince me, with his "loving intentions of course", to add another elder to our call so the two of them could help with my "counceling" (that snidy motherfucker was getting the table set for a second witness)
    • I obviously understood what he wanted to each I replied "You know what (elder's name)? I don't think I don't need another elder. Do you think that is really necessary? I don't".
    • His argument was that we were both "single witnesses" chatting for a while on the phone which is very inappropriate as of JW standards (again, what a snidy motherfucker that guy is).
    • He was completely baffled
    • At one point I even lectured him on stuff he knew nothing about, but of course pretended he knew
    • Most of the time he could not reply
    • I ended up saying "we have been chatting for a long time don't you think? I'll call you whenever I need your help again, if I need your help"
    • I hung up the phone

    I still giggle to this day. I never thought I had this level of confidence in me to completely wipe the floor with a "elder of Jehovah's congregation" but I did.


    I have some plans in my life for the near future:

    • Getting mental health counseling
    • Reading more "apostate material"
    • The more I read, the more I know that this is all lies, even though sometimes I can't sleep because I still have that crazy fear of armaggedon in my
    • Getting my mind away from the cult as much as possible and recreate myself as a WT-free person

    In the future:

    • Plan on getting my own houser.
    • Plan on disassociate myself from the cult and never look back upon my old life.
    • Try to have new friends and probably reactivate older friendships from college that I had completely failed-on because they were "worldy" people
    • Plan on switching jobs


    I am still feeling kinda confused, please send me suggestions! There is still many stuff I haven't accounted and I still don't know how to lead a normal life, even though I have been learning and I am actually having fun for the first time!

  • Overrated

    You're on the right track. You seem to have some sort of plan. I would get mental help because this cult really puts a strain on the brain. By talking to a neutral party they can help you even more with your confidence, your goals. They may have resources. You will have confusion, but things will come clear the more you look into this. Just remember you have been enlightened, some will never see what you learned. Live your life is the greatest thing you can do. You're no longer stuck in a self serving cult.

  • resolute Bandicoot
    resolute Bandicoot

    Dear Scarlett, don't be too hard on the witness at your work, they are a victim also.

    Your whole world has been tipped upside down just now and not getting a good sleep is normal in such a situation, in time you will feel peace and contentment. My best advice for now is don't fall into a habit of drinking a lot, it's easy to get into and hard to get out and with regard to new friends there are a lot of nice people out there, but vet them carefully, look for people with goals and ambitions and avoid people that use drugs.

    Always, always be kind and polite to your parents, not only do they deserve your respect but they are victims also and they will soften in time.


  • pistolpete

    I am still feeling kinda confused, please send me suggestions! There is still many stuff I haven't accounted and I still don't know how to lead a normal life, even though I have been learning and I am actually having fun for the first time!

    It's going to take a while before the confused part goes away. It actually takes a lot of research on religious cults and how they work to mess your mind up. Getting professional help is sometimes very expensive and if you are patient and determined, there are easier, more convenient and cheaper ways of getting help.

    I suggest reading Steven Hassan book on mind control. You can get "used" books on Amazon for about $10

    Sometime you just have to wait for used ones to become available. DON'T PAY HIGH PRICES for those books There are people that visit Amazon everyday to buy those used books by Steven Hassan and then resell them at prices that are just crazy. Here is one you can get for $11 dollars used. Don't pay more.


    Also get familiar with the many false prophesies and changing new light by the Watchtower. This website will help.


    Here is a website with some brief videos you will enjoy


    One more thing, don't give up your nice paying job just because some jw is making it hard for you. It's good practice to learn how to deal with idiots. There are lots of people besides jws that are idiotic and sooner or later you will run into them. No need to make your life harder by driving longer.

    You're more than welcome--- to visit whenever you need help.

  • Nitty-Gritty

    You sound like a very confused young lady who doesn't have much personal conviction yet. You are in danger of being swept up by whatever comes your way that you like the sound of. You seem to be eating up apostate material, just like you were eating up the "truth". Those people who were interviewed in the video weren't doing it because they were forced. Do you really think that? They were doing it because they wanted to share their personal conviction and belief. But it seems you were never personally convinced about what your mom taught you in the first place, and so now apostate material is giving you the answers you want to hear, to make leaving easier in your mind.

    You are not the only JW who has read apostate material. Those who leave do so because they want to, and not because apostate material has revealed something new about the org. It might be new to you, but if you did research you would know that it's nothing special, definitely not a reason to leave.....

  • cyberjesus

    good job. keep reading, keep researching, keep thinking... slow in acting..

  • Longlivetherenegades

    nitty gritty: ......But it seems you were never personally convinced about what your mom taught you in the first place, and so now apostate material is giving you the answers you want to hear, to make leaving easier in your mind.

    Longlivetherenegades: In the final analysis Scarlet has her load to CARRY. Whatever assumptions you try to use through LEGALISM or SPECULATIONS can't describe her state of mind right now. You are dealing with TYPED words just like every other person here.

    APOSTATES materials in recent times is seen as old publications of the very ORGANIZATION that calls those leaving APOSTATES.


    2. We should likewise listen to any instructions we receive from Jehovah’s organization and obey promptly and wholeheartedly. This is true even if it does not seem important to follow them or we do not understand the reason for the instructions

    Do you see the IF and SEEMS?

    3. The Governing Body is neither inspired nor infallible. Therefore, it can err in doctrinal matters or in organizational direction. In fact, the Watch Tower Publications Index includes the heading “Beliefs Clarified,” which lists adjustments in our Scriptural understanding since 1870. Of course, Jesus did not tell us that his faithful slave would produce perfect spiritual food.

    Since the spiritual food is not PERFECT, Do you agree the main DISH always comes with a POISONED side dish? and after years the poisoned side DISH accumulates and reaches LETHAL DOSAGE 50 it kills the person in the sense that the PERSON becomes an APOSTATES which in the eyes of GB and their followers are DESPICABLE APOSTATES soon to vanish like a SMOKE.

  • Longlivetherenegades


    Read the above contained I that link. Then share what you understand about the below

    One scripture that has helped me greatly, is Jeremiah 29; God’s instructions to the exiles taken to Babylon. There were false prophets predicting an early return to Judah, but Jeremiah told them that they needed to get on with life in Babylon. They were instructed to build homes, marry, and live out their lives. Jeremiah 29:4 “This is what the Lord of armies, the God of Israel, says to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 ‘Build houses and live in them; and plant gardens and eat their produce. 6 Take wives and father sons and daughters, and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may give birth to sons and daughters; and grow in numbers there and do not decrease. 7 Seek the prosperity of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord in its behalf; for in its prosperity will be your prosperity.” I strongly recommend reading the entire chapter of Jeremiah 29.

    We’re in a fallen world, and life is not always easy. But we can apply Jeremiah 29 to our current situation, and leave Armageddon in God’s hands. As long as we remain faithful, our God will remember us when His time arrives. He doesn’t expect us to freeze ourselves in time in order to please Him. Armageddon is His deliverance from evil, not a Sword of Damocles that freezes us in our tracks

    Note: they are not my own personal experience. I came across it as well. The reason I am sharing it with you.

    Don't forget you have a master to follow.........JESUS his words, way of life and works are still. in the Bible you carry. This is the opportunity to read the GOSPELS again without using the LENS of the ORGANIZATION you are still a member of.

    Scarlet: how to lead a normal life, even though I have been learning and I am actually having fun for the first time

    Longlivetherenegades: Romans 12: 1-21 is clue to the above. Go about it in a discipline way.

    Scarlet: I think that person should be the one having a problem with me and not the other way around, but I feel like I don't want to stand around that jw anymore,

    Longlivetherenegades: The battle have just started, you are on the BACKFOOT already. Cutting ties with a JW is not synonymous with not wanting to have them AROUND. You want to do the SHUNNING yourself and not the other way round.

    Scarlet: because I plan on cutting ties to this religion in the near future. I still am figuring out what to do with regard to my job

    Longlivetherenegades: leaving the religion of Jws is not a reason to LEAVE your job because you don't want them around you. Going to another place far for another job does not guarantee you not coming in contact with JWS. You should not be on the run because of JWs. Are you hiding something?

    Proverbs 28:1 The wicked flee when no one pursues, But the righteous are bold as a lion.

  • hoser

    All of us wish you the best in your future endeavours.

  • joe134cd

    Couple of things would like like to point out.

    You would be the envy of a lot of people here to have awoken in your mid 20s. Regretfully I was in my 30s before I walked out the door.

    To DA or just to fade, that is the question. In my mind for what DAing accomplishes as opposed to what it causes. For the tears, stress and hassal both to you and your family I just don’t think it’s worth it. Please consider this carefully.

    If your goal is to fade, then the less talking to elders that you do the better. Just be thankful you got out when you did, and move on.

    I’d also like to reiterate, to abstain from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and sleeping around. Also stay away from places that encourage this behaviour. Remember with freedom comes responsibility for our actions.

    That’s my advise and good luck.

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